Quotes / "Ass" in Ambassador

"A diplomat is one who bravely goes abroad to lie for his country."

— English courtier

"Annenberg appears at palace and forgets to remove a funny hat (early Chaplin, this); then he is briefed on how to begin the long march to the throne. "We start," he is told sternly, "with our left foot." Starting with the right foot, he approaches the Queen. With that graciousness for which she is insufficiently paid, Britannic Majesty asks if he is living at the embassy. Little does she know she is playing right into a Nixon joke. Like many Americans who inherit money and evade school, Annenberg has not an easy way with the President's, much less the Queen's English. At first startled by the difficulty of the question, Annenberg gives a great Bert Lahr Uhhh. Then, laboriously, he constructs the following answer (like all great acts, this one improves with each airing): "We're in the embassy residence, subject, of course, to some of the discomfiture as a result of a need for, uh, elements of refurbishing and rehabilitation." Then a perfectly timed reaction shot of the Queen looking as if a cigar had exploded in her face."

— Gore Vidal, "An American Press Lord"

Delenn: We may be able to get the Pak'ma'ra onboard to help, but they will need something in exchange.
Londo: Offer them my body. Another 10 minutes of this, I'll be dead anyway.
G'kar: I second the motion.

— Babylon 5, "The Paragon of Animals"

"You're not here to change things! You're here to gain respect, according to their culture, and to demonstrate that they should throw in with the New Republic."

— Tomer Darpin to Wedge Antilles, who is refusing to follow local customs, X-Wing Series

"We must acknowledge once and for all that the purpose of diplomacy is to prolong a crisis."

— Spock, Star Trek: The Original Series, "The Mark of Gideon"

"For a guy with diplomatic immunity, he's not very diplomatic."

— Castle

"Nit-witted ninepins! Bashi-bazouks! A C.D. plate^note Corps Diplomatique numberplate, so you can do as you like! Certified Diplodocuses, that's what you are!"

— Captain Haddock, Tintin, "The Calculus Affair"

"When in Rome, do whatever the hell you want! You have diplomatic immunity, baby!"

— This My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic fan video

Isvolsky: Aehrenthal... do you know what he has done? To diplomacy? Do you think anyone will ever trust anyone anymore?!
Pourtales: What is certain, Baron, is that no-one will ever trust you anymore.
Isvolsky: I'll take that risk! I think I can explain myself to Britain and France.
Pourtales: And can you explain yourself to the Serbs, hmm? Can you explain to them how you bartered away their right to compensation in a secret deal — and for your own advantage? And even worse, can you explain it to your own government, who are blithely demanding compensation at this moment, totally unaware that they have already sacrificed Serbia's right to it? You will do as you are told, otherwise every letter, every document will be made available to the capitals of Europe, and you will be seen for what you are: a cynical, unprincipled gambler who has no more regard for his friends than he has for his enemies!

— Fall of Eagles

"Westerners accuse us of not conforming to diplomatic etiquette, but the standard for us to evaluate our work is not how foreigners look at us, but how people in China look at us. … Our work is evaluated by these standards, not whether foreigners are happy or not. We can’t stop doing it just because they are unhappy."

— Chinese diplomat explaining "Wolf Warrior Diplomacy"

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