Quotes: Army of Lawyers

It never occurred to any Enlightenment republic in the eighteenth century that law was no preferable to man, The republic was then given to lawyers to govern. Predictably, lawyers make laws, giving work to other lawyers. As a result of two centuries of law-making every American's life has either been prescribed for or proscribe by laws that even as they are promulgated split amoeba-like to create more laws. The end to this Malthusian nightmare of law metastasized is nowhere in sight.

If you have ever seen the Ravens social media presence, you know that their PR team essentially acts as its own news network. They are like CNN if the sole purpose of CNN was to inflate training camp performances and wash over the player's crimes. Each morning, the site releases a team brief that makes Thomas Paine's Common Sense seem unbiased in comparison. We'll tell you with a straight face how it was a good idea to pay Joe Flacco the total GDP of Botswana.

Tracy Flick’s long-lost sister Taylor Swift has sent her lawyers after all her fans making things inspired by their favorite professional singing prom queen and selling it on Etsy, therefore stealing precious pennies out of her gold-lined strawberry-scented pockets. Watch out, 9-year-old girls who write Taylor Swift lyrics on their Trapper Keepers — you’re next.
DListed, "The Butterscotch Don strikes again! "