Quotes: Army of Lawyers

It never occurred to any Enlightenment republic in the eighteenth century that law was no preferable to man, The republic was then given to lawyers to govern. Predictably, lawyers make laws, giving work to other lawyers. As a result of two centuries of law-making every American's life has either been prescribed for or proscribe by laws that even as they are promulgated split amoeba-like to create more laws. The end to this Malthusian nightmare of law metastasized is nowhere in sight.

If you have ever seen the Ravens social media presence, you know that their PR team essentially acts as its own news network. They are like CNN if the sole purpose of CNN was to inflate training camp performances and wash over the player's crimes. Each morning, the site releases a team brief that makes Thomas Paine's Common Sense seem unbiased in comparison. We'll tell you with a straight face how it was a good idea to pay Joe Flacco the total GDP of Botswana.

The Butterscotch Don strikes again! ...Tracy Flick’s long-lost sister Taylor Swift has sent her lawyers after all her fans making things inspired by their favorite professional singing prom queen and selling it on Etsy, therefore stealing precious pennies out of her gold-lined strawberry-scented pockets. Watch out, 9-year-old girls who write Taylor Swift lyrics on their Trapper Keepers — you’re next.

...Apparently, anything picture of Tay Tay’s folk art face (save for the 1.9 million pap shots taken of her exiting her apartment every week) is owned by TAS Rights Management. By the way, TAS = Taylor Allison Swift. Lord love a duck, even her brand management company has her name on it.

And speaking of trademark infringement, those crafty fans shouldn’t even think about making any new Taylor Swift-inspired items for their Etsy shops, because Tay Tay has recently applied for a bunch of trademarks for several lyrics from her latest album 1989, including the phrase “this sick beat”. “Don’t worry, you can have it” said the remaining 3 fratboys [{Totally Radical who still use the word sick.]]

And I would love it if during all this trademark infringement drama, Tay Tay received a letter from Dick Wolf and Shonda Rhimes saying “Yeah, so our layers told us that your cats are named after trademarked characters from our TV shows..."