Quotes / Oven Logic

"Up until just a year ago or so, I could not master a Bechamel sauce to save my life, probably because I'm an impatient person who had to train myself out of the mindset of 'Well, if it takes a half hour at 250 degrees, if I turn it up to 500 degrees it'll cook twice as fast!'"

— Porcelain72, You Are Not a Winner

"Nick": So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.
blxckbiird: nick nO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES FRIEND
"Nick": FLOOR IT?
blxckbiird: NICK NO
"Nick": HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND
blxckbiird: NICK YOU ARE GOING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN
"Nick": I’M GOING TO HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES
blxckbiird: NICK P L E A S E

— via Tumblr

Cnoc na Riabh: (after Altria Caster’s disastrous chocolate-making attempt) Let me guess: You’re the kind of faerie who thinks anything that takes ten minutes at low heat to cook can also be cooked in two minutes at high heat, aren’t you?
(Altria nods)

— Fate/Grand Order

Randall Fargus: You see, microwaved popcorn generally takes about 5 minutes to pop but what if I were to put a simple bag of popcorn inside of five different microwaves at once!? Then I could pop through all that popcorn in just one minute! I mean, a delicious bag of popcorn being made in just a fifth of the time!? You can't go wrong!

— Family Guy Fanon, Season 7, Episode 16 "How Farg is Heaven?"

"Venus is 900 degrees. I could tell you it melts lead. But that's not as fun as saying, 'You can cook a pizza on the windowsill in nine seconds.' And next time my fans eat pizza, they're thinking of Venus!"

— Neil deGrasse Tyson

Project manager (noun): a person who thinks nine women can make a baby in one month.

— devrant

Roll: Vitamins. Take them once a day until they’re gone. Eat extra red meat and drink a glass of milk at breakfast. Your bones and muscles will thank you.
Bowser: I can take them all right now.
Roll: Do you want your stomach pumped?

— Super Mario Bros. fic Nascent

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