: A character has some sort of secret which they refuse to reveal, ostensibly because it would be detrimental to the listener's mental health.
- Straight: Alice shows up at work wearing an astronaut costume. Bob, upon asking why, is told that he's better off not knowing.
- Exaggerated: Alice shows up for work dressed as an astronaut, bleeding, carrying a mysterious package, and being followed by giraffes. "You do not want to know," she says. "About what?" "Anything."
- Downplayed: Alice feeds somebody something, causing them to get ill very quickly. When asked what she fed them, she only says "do you not want to know."
- Inverted: Before anyone even has a chance to ask, Alice launches into an in-depth explanation of how her boyfriend has an astronaut fetish and "pants like a dog in heat" whenever she puts the helmet on.
- Subverted: Alice's "big secret" turns out to be hilariously tame.
- Double Subverted: However, Fridge Horror sets in as Bob realizes the actual significance of what Alice said and starts hunting for the Brain Bleach.
- Parodied: Bob desperately wants to find out Alice's secret, and so becomes her slave on the condition that she'll eventually tell. She never does.
- Zig-Zagged: However, Alice assures Bob that he just has an overactive imagination and it's really not that bad. She then flashes a Psychotic Smirk towards the camera.
- Averted: Bob asks, Alice tells.
- Enforced: It's part of a Noodle Incident being left to the viewer's imagination.
- Lampshaded: "Why do you always say that? I always find out, and it's never as interesting as you make it sound!"
- Invoked: Alice deliberately withholds trivial information in order to seem more interesting.
- Exploited: ???
- Defied: Rather than say "you don't want to know" and risk people's curiosity, Alice simply lies.
- Discussed: Upon seeing Alice, Bob asks coworker Sally why Alice is dressed like that. Sally tells him he probably doesn't want to find out.
- Conversed: "You know, I was going to ask, but I probably don't want to know."
- Deconstructed: Alice starts to fray under the tremendous strain of keeping something so awful to herself.
- Reconstructed: ...but the hints she starts dropping make Bob realize he does NOT want to know, and he refuses to listen.
Trust me, you don't want to see what's at You Do NOT Want To Know