History MuggingTheMonster / RealLife

* Creator/DolphLundgren is such a [[GeniusBruiser badass]] that, [[http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1173697/Burglars-tie-woman--flee-house-realise-shes-married-action-hero-actor-Dolph-Lundgren.html when robbers broke into his house and tied up his wife]], he managed to [[TheDreaded scare them off without even being physically present]] as soon as they [[OhCrap realized]] ''[[OhCrap whose]]'' [[OhCrap house they had just broken into]].

* Two "tough guys" [[http://www.funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/1274688/Chuck/ tried to rob]] Creator/ChuckNorris with knives, under the assumption that what he did in ''Series/WalkerTexasRanger'' [[RealityIsUnrealistic was all fake]]. Unfortunately for them, Chuck is as much of a real-life badass as he is a MemeticBadass. The two ended up with arms so broken that bones were sticking out. The police didn't even handcuff them, partly out of concern for the thugs' injuries, and partly because they were laughing too hard to get the cuffs out.

* Creator/CharlesBronson once related a story in which he was vacationing in Italy, and a mugger came up behind him with a knife and said "You give me money". Bronson turned around and said "No, you give ''me'' money." The mugger ran upon realizing he'd just tried to mug the star of ''Film/DeathWish''.

* Wondered why terrorist groups hardly go after Soviet diplomats for the purpose of kidnapping them and holding them hostage compared to Western diplomats? Well, [[MotherRussiaMakesYouStrong You do not want to mess with Mother Russia]]. [[YouWouldntLikeMeWhenImAngry You wouldn't like her when she's angry]].

* While Creator/BruceLee was making a film, one of the actors, assuming all of his moves were fake, insisted on fighting him. He quickly found out that Bruce Lee was a real-life martial arts master, after being quite painfully beaten.

* Creator/LeeMarvin, a pretty tough guy himself (he was a decorated [=WW2=] vet), once picked a fight with Creator/RogerMoore, accusing him of looking and being too wimpy to be a credible action star. Moore convincingly kicked his ass. Afterwards Marvin was heard saying:
-->'''Lee Marvin:''' The guy is built like granite! Nobody will ever underestimate him again!

* A gang of street punks thought that harassing Creator/DonnieYen's then-girlfriend in a nightclub was a good idea. Yen at first tried to be diplomatic, then elected to leave the club rather than abuse the owner's hospitality. When the ''eight'' strong group decided to follow him outside and continue Yen finally lost patience and put every single one of them in hospital while remaining untouched himself.

* Creator/LanaTurner was once involved with low-level mobster Johnny Stomponato. Stomponato was very jealous and stormed onto a movie set once to threaten Lana's co-star Creator/SeanConnery. Unfortunately, for Stomponato at least, Connery had grown up tough in [[WretchedHive Glasgow]], and promptly KO'd him. Being TooDumbToLive, Stomponato went on his merry way, abusing and threatening Turner, until one night when he was threatening to cut Turner's face or throw acid on her, Turner's daughter Cheryl overheard... and came running in with a knife and stabbed him to death. Cheryl was acquitted very rapidly.

* In 2012, veteran rapper and current actor, Music/LLCoolJ, walked in on someone robbing his house and gave him a NoHoldsBarredBeatdown. Clearly, "Mama said knock him out."

* A man at the 2019 Arnold classic tried the dumb move of ''drop-kicking'' ''freaking '''Creator/ArnoldSchwarzenegger'''''. He failed and was promptly restrained after the ill-thought-out stunt. To add insult to injury, Schwarzenegger, despite reaching his ''70s'' by the event, didn't even notice until he saw the footage, and tanked the move without even ''flinching''.

** [[http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/2010/04/01/2010-04-01_us_navy_captures_5_somali_pirates_siezes_pirate_mother_ship_off_kenya_somali_coa.html Somali pirates]] in a small skiff fired on what they (presumably) assumed was an unarmed freighter. The US Navy guided missile frigate ''Nicholas'' promptly returned fire with its deck-mounted, water-cooled, .50 caliber machine gun. (The pirates were captured, their ship sunk, and their "mother ship" subsequently tracked down and also captured.)
** Somali pirates attacked [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Somme_(A631) a French navy command ship]], mistaking it for a cargo ship, leading to the swift arrest of the pirates.
** In 1993, somewhere in the Pacific, two pirate boats fired machinegun warning shots in the direction of an unidentified dry-cargo freighter. And got an auto-cannon warning shot in return, which dissuaded them from trying to board a vessel that's supposed to carry 440 marines. It was ''Nikolai Vilkov'' -- a Russian large landing ship. Being a remake of a civilian project, it [[http://web.archive.org/web/20160804212516/http://flot.com/nowadays/strength/images/vilkov.jpg resembles a freighter]] with its big crane.

* In Lebanon in the 1980s, terrorist groups frequently kidnapped Western diplomats and held them hostage. Not so much with representatives of the USSR. As the (perhaps apocryphal) story goes, there was a reason for that. A terrorist group once kidnapped a Soviet diplomat, then cut off his finger, which was [[FingerInTheMail sent to the Soviet embassy in Beirut]] as proof that they had him. The Soviet response, after a short KGB "investigation", was to send a box to the terrorist leader containing his beloved brother's ''head''. The hostage was swiftly released, and Soviet diplomats were never bothered again.

* Military oilers often get mistaken for regular tanker ships, especially in low-light conditions. This has led to more than one group of pirates trying to seize them, only to find out these ships often have rotary cannons on board and even if they don't, an assault rifle for every crew member. Never mind that they have the navies they serve on speed dial so to speak.

* Ever wonder why you so seldom hear about Russian diplomats being kidnapped? [[http://articles.latimes.com/1986-01-07/news/mn-13892_1_soviets After a Hezbollah-linked group attempted it in the mid-1980s]], the KGB reportedly responded by kidnapping several of the suspect's relatives, castrating and killing one, and mailing his manhood home. The diplomats were released without further incident. [[MotherRussiaMakesYouStrong You do not want to mess with Mother Russia.]] [[YouWouldntLikeMeWhenImAngry You wouldn't like her when she's angry.]]

* In January 2012, a group of RuthlessModernPirates attacked the ''Patiño'', which they believed to be an ordinary cargo ship. Turns out it was actually a Spanish Navy warship with 180 Spanish Marines onboard.

* Mugger Willie King probably thought he scored an easy payday when he swiped the wallet of 94-year old Yolande Gigante in 1996. He was quickly caught...[[AwfulTruth and the police promptly told him his target was the mother of]] [[TheDon Vincent "The Chin" Gigante]], '''[[OhCrap the most powerful mob boss in all of New York]]'''. King immediately [[TooDumbToLive wondered how he could be so stupid.]] When he was tried in court, King [[https://www.nytimes.com/1996/08/20/nyregion/mugger-sentenced-for-robbing-mother-of-reputed-crime-boss.html made very, very sure the Gigantes knew how sorry he was and hoped that they'd be willing to put it behind them.]]

* This Creator/YouTube video in which a small car filled with thugs decides to [[https://www.youtube.com/shorts/FHc7eHE-VCY try to rob]] an armored car that outweighs their car by an order of magnitude.

* Creator/LanaTurner was once involved with low-level mobster Johnny Stomponato. Stomponato was very jealous and stormed onto a movie set once to threaten Lana's co-star Creator/SeanConnery. Unfortunately, for Stomponato at least, Connery had grown up tough in [[WretchedHive Glasgow]], and promptly KO'd him. Being TooDumbToLive, Stomponato went on his merry way, abusing and threatening Turner, until one night when he was threatening to cut Turner's face or throw acid on her, Turner's daughter Cheryl overheard...and came running in with a knife and stabbed him to death. Cheryl was acquitted very rapidly.

* An example out of Ferdinand von Schirach's ''Verbrechen'' (a book of cases he precided over as a lawyer). Some skinheads decide that a wimpy-looking man in a neat suit would be a nice diversion. They ended up dead. It was hinted later that the guy in the suit was a contract killer on his way home. He had no papers on him, no mark that could identify him — he didn't speak a single word. They had to let him go because they had no evidence and the thing they had on him was clearly self-defense — there were several witnesses to clear him.

** Most likely a fake, however, as Tito is surrounded by a veil of lies.