History Main / MistakenForMasturbating

* ''WesternAnimation/TheVentureBrothers'': In "[[Recap/TheVentureBrosS1E5EenyMeenyMineyMagic Eeny Meeny Miney Magic]]", Dean practices kissing on his hand while imagining it's Triana, which leads to a misunderstanding with his father:

* Inverted in ''ComicBook/TheAdventuresOfBarryWeenBoyGenius'' by Creator/JuddWinick. When asked by his parents why he's been in the bathroom so long, he shouts back "I'm masturbating! Go away!!"; while trying to dispose of the results of his latest failed experiment (which stubbornly keeps trying to climb back out of the toilet).
* Again inverted: in the ''ComicBook/Gen13'' reboot by Creator/GailSimone ''Grunge'' has been shown as being a geekish, mommy-boy kid. Wanting to "reinvent himself", he cleverly and systematically rebels against it, for example disposing of all his anti-asthma medications, vitamins and dietary supplements in the toilet while faking a double-entendre laced [[TheImmodestOrgasm Immodest Orgasm]] just to mess with his family.
* In ''ComicBook/UltimateSpiderMan'', Miles Morales is in his bedroom watching a recording of Peter Parker as Spider-Man fighting, and uses it to train. His mother enters the room and finds Miles sweaty, with his laptop open, and angry at her for entering without knocking. Guess what she thought he was doing...

'''Pam:''' Oh for Pete's sakes! You're so defensive. Were you... masturbating?
-->-- ''Film/{{Transformers}}''

* One sporting goods web commercial begins with a man and his wife in bed. She tries to seduce him, but he's not in the mood and gets up to go downstairs. When she follows him down, she sees him from behind, sitting on the couch with his arm rhythmically pumping up and down. She bursts into tears and runs back upstairs. He just gives her a confused "What?" - and goes back to pumping up the soccer ball between his legs.

[[folder:Comics]]

* Again inverted: in the ''ComicBook/{{Gen 13}}'' reboot by Creator/GailSimone ''Grunge'' has been shown as being a geekish, mommy-boy kid. Wanting to "reinvent himself", he cleverly and systematically rebels against it, for example disposing of all his anti-asthma medications, vitamins and dietary supplements in the toilet while faking a double-entendre laced [[TheImmodestOrgasm Immodest Orgasm]] just to mess with his family.

* ''FanFic/AmongYou'': In ''like son, like father'', Grey assumes that’s what Orange was doing when he went to eat Blue’s body, and lies to cover for him.
* In the ''Literature/{{Animorphs}}'' fanfic ''[[Fanfic/{{Eleutherophobia}} Ghost in the Shell]]'', Jake is looking at something on the computer and tries to hide it when Tom comes in. Tom assumes that Jake was looking at porn, but it turns out he was reading forum posts about Yeerks and momentarily forgot that Tom isn't one of them anymore.
* ''Fanfic/MyHuntsmanAcademia''

[[folder:Film -- Live Action]]
* ''Film/AmericasSweethearts'': Eddie sneaks over to the cottage his ex-girlfriend Gwen is staying in so he can get a glimpse of her through the window (he wasn't going to do anything, he just wanted to see her). He gets startled and falls [[GroinAttack crotch-first]] onto a cactus, forcing him to pull the thorns out while groaning loudly. Naturally this is when the security guards happen to spot him via the security camera, and because his back is to them they assume he's doing something much creepier.
* ''ComicBook/BadKidsGoToHell'': When Megan is doing her striptease, Matt is trying to close his zipper, which is stuck because of the wet paint that got spilled on it. However, his frantic tugging at his crotch makes it looks like he is doing something else; especially to Principal Nash.

* ''Film/SpiderManHomecoming'' - Peter Parker's roommate Ned Leeds is the SecretKeeper turned MissionControl to the titular superhero - unfortunately all he has to work with are the school's computers, during prom, leading to a patrolling teacher finding him in there. The best excuse he can come up with?
-->"I'm... looking at... porn."

* ''Film/TheresSomethingAboutMary'': Ted Stroehmann is daydreaming in the bathroom but is accused of masturbating to Mary, who is changing clothes in a room in view. HilarityEnsues.
* The scene from ''Film/{{Transformers}}'' where Sam Witwicky's parents notice that he's hiding [[HumongousMecha something]] from them in his bedroom. Sam (Creator/ShiaLaBeouf) can't tell them that his 30-foot-high transforming robot buddies are right outside the window, of course, and so hurriedly tries to get them to leave the room. Sam's mother outright ''asks'' [[CaughtWithYourPantsDown if he's masturbating]]. Sam and his father are appropriately horrified and tell her to stop. When the [[MsFanservice outrageously hot]] Mikaela (Creator/MeganFox) pops out from his closet, they quickly end their suspicions and congratulate him. In the ''Podcast/RiffTrax'' commentary, Bill Corbett's suggestion definitely outdoes Mrs. Witwicky's "Sam's Happy Time" euphemism: he casts his ballot for "[=LaBeouf=] Strokinoff."

* Briefly appears in ''Film/TheAmazingSpiderMan2'', in which Peter Parker falls onto his bed after hanging on the ceiling as Spider-Man. Cut to Aunt May (who doesn't know Peter is Spider-Man) downstairs, hearing the noise which sounds very much like masturbation.

* In a variant, in ''The Throne Of Bones'' (no, not ''that'' kind), an in-universe author of horror stories complains that ignorant people sometimes assume his stories are for real. Among these is a tale in which he's harassed by a deformed monstrosity that arose from the semen he'd deposited while masturbating.

* The ''Series/{{Angel}}'' episode "Spin the Bottle" has the cast revert to their young selves, where a pre-vampire Liam locks himself in the bathroom and discovers he's a vampire present day by morphing and unmorphing his face, slowly at first, then faster. Cordelia hears the noise and assumes he's masturbating.

--> Tocarse... (''Jacking off...'')

* On ''Series/KimsConvenience'', Gerald hears Janet in her room moaning, along with a vibrating noise and assumes she's pleasuring herself. He continues to assume this when he hears Janet and her parents talking about "massage-''kigae''", only to find out that the "massage-''kigae''" is just a neck massager.

* In the ''Series/StarTrekStrangeNewWorlds'' episode "[[Recap/StarTrekStrangeNewWorldsS2E07ThoseOldScientists Those Old Scientists]]", [[WesternAnimation/StarTrekLowerDecks Boimler]] is acting very standoffish towards Una and, when pressed, Mariner casually mentions he has a poster of her in his bunk. Una initially thinks that he has a pin-up poster of her, however, before the ensigns return to the future, Mariner set things straight: [[spoiler:the poster is actually a ''recruitment poster'' featuring her and the phrase "[[Recap/StarTrekStrangeNewWorldsS2E02AdAstraPerAspera Ad Astra Per Aspera]]" on it and she was his inspiration to join Starfleet.]]

--> "Han, what are you doing in there?"
--> "I'm- I'm masturbating. Don't come in here!"
* WebVideo/FiveSecondFilms brings us their sketch [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsxIxamLI34 Goin' Solo]].

* In one of the ''WebAnimation/TheGModIdiotBox'' sketches, [[VideoGame/PokerNightAtTheInventory the Heavy is playing poker with Max]], and is annoyed by how much Max is talking. He tries to hit a button underneath the table that will shut Max up but misses. Quite a bit. Max...[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTWYoVnRGpw&t=2m35s interprets it as something else.]]

* WebVideo/{{Smosh}} tends to do this joke a lot in some of their videos, [[PlayedForLaughs purely for laughs]].

* The Will & Ivo Show episode "Study Group," found here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVi1xuC_eHw
** Deconstructed by the [[spoiler: Ivo character]] later in the same episode.
* ''WebAnimation/MonkeyWrench'': In "The Ghost Egg", Shrike walks past Nobert's cabin while the latter is sitting with his back to the open door, making gestures suggestive of jerking off. Shrike is appropriately horrified, until he realizes that Nobert is just playing with some action figures. Cue that horror morphing into annoyance.

* In ''WesternAnimation/TheAmazingWorldOfGumball'', when Gumball and Hot Dog Guy, who end up having lots of weird cringey moments when they're around each other, wind up in bathroom stalls next to each other, Gumball takes loud, deep breaths to calm himself down, prompting Hot Dog Guy to think "What is he doing in there?!"

--> '''Duckman:''' I can't live with this lack of privacy! ''GO SLEEP OUTSIDE!''
* Implied in an episode of ''WesternAnimation/FairlyOddParents'': Timmy's parents watch a parenting video where the doctor says a red flag for children is locking themselves in their bedroom with a roll of paper towels. Of course, Timmy needs to clean up after a wish, so he promptly runs past with a roll of paper towels and insists his parents not come into his room.

--->'''Chris:''' God's watching me do Number Two? Aw man, I'm a sinner and God's a pervert!

** In "The Son Also Roses", Hank is suspicious as to why Bobby is spending so much time in his bedroom closet; it is implied that he thinks he is doing this, but he is actually growing roses and he's hiding it because he didn't want Hank to find out.
** In "Hank's Dirty Laundry", Hank's credit card is falsely charged for supposedly renting and never returning a porn film. An anonymous benefactor ([[spoiler:Bill]]) leaves Hank a stack of porn films and a note saying that evidence proving his innocence is somewhere within them. Hank watches the films while taking notes with a pen and paper, only for the pen to stop working at one point. Peggy walks in just as Hank is shaking the pen trying to get it to work again, but from her perspective, he appears to be masturbating.
* In ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'' episode "Like Father Like Clown", it is implied that Krusty's father thinks he is masturbating in the bathroom, it turns out he was doing a comedy routine with a spray bottle. Which to his father is just as bad.
-->'''Krusty''': ''Close the door!''
* In ''WesternAnimation/TheVentureBrothers'', Dean practises kissing on his hand while imagining it's Triana, which leads to a misunderstanding with his father:
--> '''Dr. Venture''': (knocking on bathroom door) Dean, what the hell are you doing in there? I need to take a shower!
--> '''Dean''': I'm [[UnusualEuphemism practicing being a boyfriend]], pop.
--> '''Dr. Venture''': (recoiling) Never mind, Dean.

** In "Self-Experimentation", the girls get back from the shower and find Izuku sweaty and red-faced while hunched over his bed. Startled, he hurriedly exclaims that he was just "experimenting", only for the rest of his team to come to the conclusion that he was having ADateWithRosiePalms the way Kayama explained in class. In reality, he was just trying to push his ability to control One For All.

* The ''Series/{{Angel}}'' episode "Spin the Bottle" has the cast revert to their young selves, where a pre-vampire Liam locks himself in the bathroom and discovers he's a vampire present day by morphing and unmorphing his face, slowly at first, then faster. Cordelia hears the noise and assumes he's having ADateWithRosiePalms.

* In ''Webcomic/ElGoonishShive'', Elliot finds himself a victim of InvoluntaryShapeshifting and goes to the bathroom to change back. Ellen hears him and inquires what he's doing as a girl in the bathroom. He responds that he wants privacy and "me time" which Ellen seemingly [[https://www.egscomics.com/comic/2008-06-06 interprets]] as ADateWithRosiePalms. Elliot realizes the implication and immediately tries to counter it.

* In the ''WesternAnimation/{{Duckman}}'' episode "Forbidden Fruit", Fluffy and Uranus are in the top bunk of their bed while Duckman is in the bottom (Duckman having been kicked out of his own house for being politically-incorrect). All of a sudden, the bed starts shaking, and Fluffly and Uranus believe their housemate is having ADateWithRosiePalms. However, when they look, Duckman is actually doing leg exercises, and is none too pleased that his assistants are watching him.

* ''Series/ThirtyRock'': In "Reaganing", Liz tells Jack about a time when she tried to use the bathroom whilst wearing her new roller skates. She pulled down her underpants and slipped on her skates, pulling down a poster of Tom Jones on top of herself. When Liz's mother walked in on her, she assumed her daughter was masturbating and took away the posters of all of Liz's teen crushes.

* The ''Series/{{Angel}}'' episode ''Spin the Bottle'' has the cast revert to their young selves, where a pre-vampire Liam locks himself in the bathroom and discovers he's a vampire present day by morphing and unmorphing his face, slowly at first, then faster. Cordelia hears the noise and guesses he's having ADateWithRosiePalms.

* In one of the ''Machinima/TheGModIdiotBox'' sketches, [[VideoGame/PokerNightAtTheInventory the Heavy is playing poker with Max]], and is annoyed by how much Max is talking. He tries to hit a button underneath the table that will shut Max up but misses. Quite a bit. Max...[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTWYoVnRGpw&t=2m35s interprets it as something else.]]

* Again inverted: in the ''ComicBook/{{Gen 13}}'' reboot by Creator/GailSimone ''Grunge'' has been shown as being a geekish, mommy-boy kid. Wanting to "reinvent himself", he cleverly and systematically rebels against it, for example disposing of all his anti-asthma medications, vitamins and dietary supplements in the toilet while faking a double-entendre laced ImmodestOrgasm just to mess with his family.