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Excuse Boomerang
The culprit has been caught red-handed and is about to receive a well deserved punishment. But, he objects, it wasn't his fault. He had no control over his actions. He had to commit the crime.

Unfortunately for him, the authority figure also has no control over his actions, and has to deliver the punishment.

An Excuse Boomerang is used as a rhetorical shortcut. Rather than argue with the culprit about whether or not the culprit can be held responsible, the authority simply claims that for the same reason he can't be held responsible for the punishment he is about to deliver.

Related to Ironic Echo.

Examples:

Comic Books
  • Fables: When the Arabian fables are being integrated into Fabletown society, they insist on being allowed to maintain their ancient tradition of keeping slaves. Old King Cole agrees, but says that the Western fables will maintain its ancient tradition of putting all slave-owners to death wherever they find them. Probably based on the Real Life Charles Napier example below.

Literature
  • In Jingo:
    Oh, no doubt the man would suggest there were mitigating circumstances, that he had an unhappy childhood or was driven by Compulsive Well-Poisoning Disorder. But I have a compulsion to behead cowardly murderers.
  • This Ambrose Bierce poem:
    "There's no free will," says the philosopher;
    "To hang is most unjust."
    "There is no free will," assents the officer;
    "We hang because we must."
  • Invoked, but not by the criminal, in The Count of Monte Cristo. Benedetto has cheerfully revealed that he's a thief, escaped convict and murderer, along with the fact that he was nearly Buried Alive as a minutes-old infant by his father before being rescued and raised to adulthood, and that his father is the public prosecutor. A cop comments on the situation saying that there'll be mitigating circumstances.

Newspaper Comics
  • Calvin and Hobbes: Similar to the Zeno of Citium story, Calvin claims that he can't be held accountable for his actions because he was fated to do them. Hobbes trips him, claiming Calvin was fated to fall.

RealLife
  • Charles James Napier (attributed), during his governorship in British India:
    "You say that it is your custom to burn widows. Very well. We also have a custom: when men burn a woman alive, we tie a rope around their necks and we hang them. Build your funeral pyre; beside it, my carpenters will build a gallows. You may follow your custom. And then we will follow ours."
  • There's an Older Than Feudalism story about Zeno of Citium chastising a slave for stealing. The slave argued that it was his fate to steal. Zeno informed him that it was also his fate to be beaten.

WebComics
  • This Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal comic, in which a woman protests that arresting her ego for smoking marijuana is unjust, when other parts of her mind and body were responsible for the deed. The police officer handcuffs the woman and tells her his hands are just obeying the frontal lobes in Congress.
  • There was an early PvP strip in which Cole attempted this unsuccessfully. His employees were in the habit of neglecting their jobs to play video games. At one point, he told them that he was too busy playing a certain game to finish the payroll, only to decide a moment later that he actually should get it out of the way.

WesternAnimation
  • Unsuccessfully attempted by Hank in King of the Hill. A new employee turns out to be a drug addict, and gets his lawyer to invoke the Americans with Disabilities Act to keep his job and demand special accommodations. This inspires other employees to claim to suffer from a variety of outlandish disabilities and demand inconvenient and time-consuming accommodations with the help of the same lawyer. Hank tries to get a handle on the situation:
    Hank: You see, I recently came to realize that I, too, suffer from a disability: Good Worker Syndrome. I get sick to my stomach unless every one around me is giving 110 percent. The symptoms include pride, responsibility, and a feverish enthusiasm. It used to be a common condition among Americans.


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