->''a chiz is a swiz or a swindle as any fule kno.''

[[caption-width-right:243:the gorila of 3b]]
nigel molesworth, gorila of 3b and curse of [[BoardingSchoolOfHorrors st custards]], is a brittish skoolboy from the 1950s whose poor speling do not hold him back from rekording his GRATE THORTS about [[BoardingSchool skool]], life, [[UsefulNotes/AssociationFootball foopball]], [[UsefulNotes/{{Cricket}} crikit]], [[AdultsAreUseless grown-ups]], [[GirlsHaveCooties GURLS]], interplanetry travel ect ect chiz chiz. It could be described as ''Literature/DiaryOfAWimpyKid'' crossed with ''Series/NedsDeclassifiedSchoolSurvivalGuide'', but set in [[TheFifties (slightly shabby, fading) Fifties]] Britain. (mouldy chizz thoze ones came aftur...)

His jaded and world-weary comentary hav been [[LiteraryAgentHypothesis fathefully transcribed]] by Geoffrey Willans and georgously ilustrated by Ronald Searle of StTrinians fame in four volumes (pub. grabber and grabber): ''Down with Skool!'', ''How to be Topp'', ''Whizz for Atomms'' and ''Back in the Jug Agane''.

felow-inmates inklude:
* peason, nigel's [[HeterosexualLifePartners grate freind]]
* gilibrand, whose pater was a general
* grabber m.a. head of skool captain of everything winner of the mrs joyful prize for rafia work and MilesGloriosus-in-traning
* fotherington-tomas, wet and weed who sa [[CatchPhrase Hullo clouds, hullo sky]]
* wee bro molesworth 2

There are also the masters aka beaks viz. headmaster GRIMES, sigismund the mad maths master ect, and of coarse the skool dog. The books also divert into subjects such as UsefulNotes/TheGreatBritishSeaside, complete with UsefulNotes/BritishWeather.[[note]]the molesworths can aford to go awa for their hols, but this is in the days before forren holidays were really an option for most british folk. So they go the seaside and get rayned on.[[/note]]

The [[UsefulNotes/BritishAccents golden prose hem-hem]] of our hero hav been enjoyed by generations of tiny pupils and often continue to hold its allure into adulthood. molesworth fans are a rare but rabid breed who rekognise each other by use of sekrit code phrases such as 'cheers cheers cheers', 'poo er gosh' and 'as any fule kno'. molesworth's influence on a generation or 2 of British humorists was surely immense if subtle but he would be too much the realist expect any credit.

Tales of molesworth's endevors hav okasionalli been told on the RADIO (poo gosh v. hi-tek), most recently in december 2014.
!!This series provide xsampls of:
* AdultsAreUseless - parents just do not care, but after being xposed to the likes of molesworth 2 and peason, WHY SHOULD THEY TRY?
* AllLowercaseLetters - Employed in a very specific way. Despite what the examples on this page suggest, molesworth does in fact start his sentences with capital letters, but doesn't use them for proper names.
* AuthorCatchphrase - molesworth is positivly Homeric in his use of epithets coo er posh prose eh
* BigEater - molesworth 2 is "always eating" sa molesworth, and we see this in scenes of domestic blis set at the molesworth house where molesworth 2 keep asking for more toast and tea
* BilingualBonus - mostly for french and latin, and not so much for reel noledge of those languages as for experiense of the kind of textbooks used to teech them in british skools once upon a time
* {{Bizarrchitecture}} - st custard's was built by a madman and therefor hav an observatory to study worms and a cupola which serv no purpose at all
* BlackComedy - o yes it all LOOK sweet and harmless but with all the bullies and blubbing and ice cold baths, well LIFE IS PAIN my dears and there is 0 to be dun about it
* BoardingSchool - in the obvious sense, st custards IS a boarding skool. More importantly, these books are a cruel {{parody}} of the traditional boarding skool story, replacing pranks and jolly fun with cynicism and dark observation. Nigel okasionally make reference to old-fashioned skool stories, but clearly know them for fantasies.
* BoardingSchoolOfHorrors - the masters are all teddy boys and they will rip you with a botle for two pins
* BoldInflation - ALLCAPS gets used for emphasis in fairly random places
* BookDumb - molesworth constantly displa an intelligence not matched by his skool grades
* BrilliantButLazy - if we beleeve "I Am Going to Be Good" in ''Back in the Jug Agane'', molesworth mite be grate at skool if he did but care about it, but when GRIMES giv all the prizes to grabber at the end of the yere anyway, why ort he to care?
* TheBully - well yes we are talking about SKOOL, enuff sed
* CanisLatinicus - the skool motto is ''quantum ille canis est in fenestra''. [[note]]"How much is the dog in the window?"[[/note]]
* CatchPhrase - fotherington-tomas is famous for saying "hullo, clouds, hullo sky" quite a lot
* CheatersNeverProsper - the molesworth stories parody or subvert all traditional moralistic [[SportsStoryTropes sports-related tropes]] at every opportuniti, but this one especially is taken to be a lie as a matter of course
* ClassTrip - a visit to a farm and a trip on ye flying scotsman
* CorporalPunishment - This being a 1950s public skool, the kane is used ALL THE TIME.
* CorruptCorporateExecutive - grabber & grabber, purveyors of various [[MyLittlePanzer dangerous-sounding toys]] to the tinys, and one stop shop for any BlandNameProduct required by the 'plot'
* CurbStompBattle - always hapen to st. custard's on the foopball pitch. But with dere basil fotherington-tomas in goal, who sa "hullo, clouds, hullo sky" while huge centre-forward bear down on him and SHOT wistle past his nose, what else cud hapen?
* DownToTheLastPlay - parodied in one of molesworth's foopball-related daydreams
* DreadfulMusician - molesworth 2. When he pla fairy bells, the pore skool piano is never the same agane
* EverybodyHatesMathematics - when he ask the point of maths molesworth is told that maths is a langwidge
* FunetikAksent - not only molesworths speling of English, but when Armand from his french books sho up in britain in ''Back in the Jug Agane'' (and is not at all the wet weed molesworth thort he was) he speke English with one of these ("Zis where you live?" ect ect)
* FunnyForeigner - molesworth seems to spend his langwidge lessons imagining himself as '[[{{Lzherusskie}} molesvitch]]' or '[[TorosYFlamenco Don Jereth Molethworth]]' in a ThemeParkVersion of the relevant country.
* HenpeckedHusband - when we see molesworths mater and pater, mater is always going on at pater for one thing or another such as how he did 0 during the war
* {{Homage}} - various [[ImagineSpot day-dreams]] and piktorial interludes feature the adventures of 'interplanetary clot' Captain molesworth in the style of ComicStrip/DanDare and similar contemporary "Daring Space-Aces". The sheer number of such characters at the time is Lampshaded by the complaint that non of the various [[ParodyNames Parody Named]] {{Expy}}s of the villains, such as the PUKON and his TREENS, are ever free for thwarting, being booked up till next year, chiz chiz ect
* JerkJock - grabber m.a. is head of skool captain of everything (tho he hav no aktual skil at any sport, but a big fat cheque paid to GRIMES wil get you anything) and will tuough you up if you so much as giv him a funy look
* LastNameBasis - as in aktual brittish skools of TheFifties, boys and beaks alike are almost always adresed by last name only, tho we sometimes see a first name (basil fotherington-tomas, timothy peason ect ect). molesworth even habitually refer to his brother as "molesworth 2".
* TheMunchausen - the masters at st custard's are hapy to talk for ages about there [[UsefulNotes/WorldWarII war]] heroics, but molesworth sa if they did even half of wot they sa they did in the war it wud hav been over by 1940. And gilibrand is gud at SpottingTheThread in there stories as his pater is a general.
* NoPunctuationIsFunnier - molesworth doesnt use apostrophes (except in the name of st custard's) tho he does aktually use full stops as normal.
* OffToBoardingSchool - wot hapen when you annoy your mater and pater too much
* PrecociousCrush - hinted at, despite his [[GirlsHaveCooties general attitude]], whenever molesworth mention Prudence Entwhistle the glamorous under-matron
* RightWayWrongWayPair: Parodied by one illustration: 'Are you an Eric or a Nigel?: A smug chart for sissies'. Eric (unlike Nigel) sits erect and chews his food at leisure becos the weed hav got up early.
* RougeAnglesOfSatin: As you might've already guessed from this article.
* SadistTeacher - Lots!
* SantaClaus - referred to as "Father Christmas", these being [[UsefulNotes/AVeryBritishChristmas BRITISH]] stories, and thoroughly subverted, as molesworth is old and more to the point cynical enough to know the truth
* ScrewTheRulesIHaveMoney - grabbers pater is v. rich and giv GRIMES and all the masters a big fat cheque (and a bottle of beer for dere old matron) every yere so his son who hav no talent for skool or sport is stil head of skool captain of everything and win all the skool prizes esp. the mrs joyful prize for rafia work (the only thing he hav talent for)
* SelfDeprecation - amongst the swots, thugs, oiks, and usefull foopball players of st custards and suchlike skools, molesworth is one who no his limits.
* SketchComedy - in literary form. molesworths thorts on skool ect were first published in small peices in ''Punch'' magazine and only later colected into books
* TwoTeacherSchool - GRIMES and sigismund are the only named beaks, though teachers of lat, fr, geog, hist ect are mentioned in passing.
* UnnecessaryRoughness - wot else can anyone xpect on the sports field?
* UnsympatheticComedyProtagonist - not that nigel is ENTIRELY unworthy of pity but he is a PRODUK of his TIME and so is driven to CYNICISM and VIOLENSS on okajun
* VitriolicBestBuds - molesworth and peason argue a lot and tuough each other up continually but are grate frends.