All My Friends Are Invisible is a 2022 nonfiction memoir by queer activist and YouTube "family vlogger" Jonathan Joly (of the channel "SACCONEJOLYs"). It was published by Quercus Publishing, and according to the book's back cover blurb, it would be "one of the most talked about books of 2022." The book explores Joly's childhood experiences with queerness and retreating into a vivid fantasy world, a phenomenon that he associates with having to grow up in a conservative 1980s United Kingdom.
The memoir was released commercially around the same time that the Saccone-Joly family began releasing details about one of their children, who is allegedly transgender (Jonathan Joly himself identifies as non-binary) [1]
. The memoir remained a popular book into 2023 in connection with this revelation. It has since been released in eBook and paperback edition formats; while cover art differs slightly between editions, all cover art features a photo of Jonathan Joly as a young child in his British school uniform, presenting as male; this photo was chosen because Joly claims that at the time he was that age in school, he felt like a girl and resented being made to wear a boy's uniform.
All My Friends Are Invisible deals with themes of psychology, queerness, the digital gig economy, fatherhood, gender identity and conservative social norms.
The book contains examples of the following tropes:
- The '80s: Most of the memoir bounces back to reflections on Jonathan Joly's childhood upbringing in the 1980s, with copious 80s-based references; it is juxtaposed with Joly's adult experiences in the digital age as an LGBTQ+ family vlogger.
- Ambiguous Gender Identity: Jonathan Joly identifies as non-binary, meaning that he does not conform to either the binary gender identity of male or female. He reveals that he played with girls' toys, thought of himself as a girl and was bullied for his non-conforming gender identity in school.
- Anti-Escapism Aesop: Jonathan Joly's fantasy world is induced often whether he wants it or not, as a coping mechanism to escape the harshness and conformity of reality.
- Imaginary Friend: Jonathan Joly had quite a few growing up, as he reveals.
- Magical Land: Jonathan Joly claims to have retreated into a complex, vivid fantasy world as a child where magic could happen and fantasy characters abounded.
- Manic Pixie Dream Girl: Jonathan Joly is a non-gender-conforming version of this, so doesn't fit the trope's rarer noted "Manic Pixie Dream Guy" quite either, but rather an eccentric, fun-loving person who meets neither gender binary definition exactly.
- Rebellious Spirit: Setting gender identity aside, Jonathan Joly is opposed to social norms throughout the book and lives an eccentric lifestyle, also finding his career through unconventional means (as a social media influencer and vlogger).
- School Uniforms are the New Black: Jonathan Joly, like other students at his school, had to wear a uniform all the time. In Joly's case, he was uncomfortable with the way that school uniforms were used to categorize binary gender identities based on a student's sex assigned at birth; Joly had to wear a male school uniform with pants.
