''Want to have your dream girl or guy swoon over you? It's easy! Just: (select your gender)''

# Be the [[FirstGirlWins first one]] at the entrance when he comes in. (If someone else got there first, you can always [[LastGirlWins try waiting until the end]].)
# [[Series/{{Alias}} Dye]] your hair [[HeroesWantRedheads red]].
# If he's an American, become a [[AllGuysWantCheerleaders cheerleader]].
# Don't settle for a simple greeting; make your first meeting with him [[MeetCute extremely convoluted or sappy]] to prove that only fate could have thrown you two together. The CrashIntoHello meeting is especially popular.
# Even better, leave the bathroom door open for him to walk inside and see you {{naked| first impression}}. Not only does it leave a lasting impression, it also gives you an excuse to give him a MegatonPunch (see below).
# [[LoveAtFirstPunch Sucker punch]] him in the face or {{groin| attack}}.
# Act horrified at the thought that you could ever be in love with him and be a [[{{Tsundere}} cranky, volatile person]] around him. Remember, no hero likes a ClingyJealousGirl or [[ShrinkingViolet shy, blushing person]] with "I'M SOOOO IN LOVE" stamped on her forehead. As insurance, be the first to beat the crap of out of him for doing something that can be regarded as even slightly perverted.
# Make absolutely sure that you give each other your FirstKiss. [[IndirectKiss Sharing straws]] is acceptable; the rule of thumb here is if it can give mono, it probably counts.
# Tell him you [[ChildhoodMarriagePromise promised to marry him]] when you were five. This always, always, ''always'' works, just so long as he doesn't find out you're lying or remember that when he was five, he was [[GirlsHaveCooties afraid of girls]]. If he does, however, you [[UnluckyChildhoodFriend instantly lose it all]].
# If he's a manly man with rippling biceps, become the DamselInDistress to be [[RescueRomance swept up]] into his arms.
# Failing that, be a DoomMagnet, and find a man who is equally one himself. You'll [[BattleCouple bond together for safety alone]], even if you don't consider him your truest love. [[BeAWhoreToGetYourMan Promising him sex]] will help ensure that he [[ClosedCircle doesn't try to leave]], [[DeathByPragmatism which would only get him killed anyway]]. Just don't have ''[[DeathBySex too much]]'' sex.
# Somehow bribe the gods into [[CleaningUpRomanticLooseEnds removing all competition]], leaving you as their sole choice.
# [[BeautifulAllAlong Get contacts and let your hair down]].
# [[{{Meganekko}} Get glasses]].
# ... and [[HotLibrarian develop a love for books and other intellectual pursuits]].
# Get a [[HotScientist degree in chemistry]].
# [[GamerChick Get really good at video games]], tabletop games, or whatever it is the geek is into.
# [[AmazonChaser Work out your womanly figure and take fighting classes]].
# ...or [[NoGuyWantsAnAmazon stay delicate with no muscles]] if he's got an ego stake in fighting.
# [[DisabledLoveInterest Get a not-too-crippling disability]]. If you don't like the idea of permanently hurting yourself, [[IllGirl try getting a not-too-disfiguring and non-contagious disease]]. Nothing invokes those chivalrous instincts like a cough in the right moment. Watch out, though: if you're too good at, you may end up [[TooGoodForThisSinfulEarth dying in the end]].
# And make sure you ''never'' come off as [[NoGuyWantsToBeChased being overly eager or aggressive]].
# Offer to [[HandsOnApproach teach him how to dance]].
# ...or [[DuetBonding play a piano duet together]].
# [[LoveAtFirstNote Sing]].
# Secretly be male. A WholesomeCrossdresser never fails to get some important guys after her/him.
# Of course [[SweetOnPollyOliver dressing like a man]] works well too.
# If all else fails, [[BlackComedyRape force yourself]] onto him. It'll give you something to [[DoubleStandardRapeFemaleOnMale laugh about]] afterwards! [[color:red:'''Warning:''' If you're in real life, doing this will at least screw up your karma and at most get you a life sentence or on-site death.]]
# ...this may sound outrageous but.....if he happens to be [[SoulBrotha black]], [[WhereDaWhiteWomenAt be white. Just...be white]]. Seriously, this works way more often than it sounds.
** If he's anything else, AmbiguouslyBrown will usually work. Bonus points if you're [[Disney/{{Pocahontas}} a "savage"]].
# Your [[RomanticFalseLead main competition]] isn't allowed to admit her feelings until just before the end credits. Therefore, admit yours much sooner and attempt to gather enough audience sympathy make the confession stick.
** Do ''not'', however, proclaim love for someone within minutes of meeting them. Wait long enough to make everyone believe you took the time to actually get to know the person you claim to be in love with.
# [[SamusIsAGirl Conceal your gender and kick some serious ass right in front of him]]. Alternatively, help him to deal with a bunch of {{Mooks}} or the QuirkyMinibossSquad, still making believe you're male. And at just the right moment, when he hands out for a manly handshake and ask for your name, comply and reveal your face. Works all the time, no exceptions.

# [[TroubledButCute Wear a leather jacket]].
# Be [[AllGirlsWantBadBoys aloof, quiet, and generally bad]]. Even if you don't get the girl, [[PerverseSexualLust fangirls will flock all over you]] because there must, simply ''[[DracoInLeatherPants must]]'', be a sensitive, [[TheWoobie tormented]] poetic soul underneath that bad boy veneer.
** For extra effect, be [[BastardBoyfriend abusive and sarcastic]] to her. [[BespectacledBastardBoyfriend Glasses optional]].
# When options 1 & 2 just won't work, be a [[SingleWomanSeeksGoodMan honourable, considerate, chivalrous, well-meaning guy]]. No, seriously, this actually works a ''lot'' more than you may think. Also, the women on whom this works are often better quality than the others.
# Go for the "[[{{Bishonen}} slender but lithe]]" look. What girl can say no to a pretty face like that?
# If you can't do either of the above, "[[AccidentalPervert accidentally]]" grope her breasts.
# ...or catch a [[PantyShot peek at her panties]].
# ...or walk in on her as she's [[NakedFirstImpression bathing or undressing]].
# ...or all of the above. Preferably all at the same time; at which some one will awkwardly stumble into the room for comedic effect.
# [[ChivalrousPervert Proposition her heavily but don't force her]]. If you do it properly, she may consider your offer indeed.
# It never hurts to sacrifice a goat or two to get the PowersThatBe to [[CleaningUpRomanticLooseEnds uneven out the playing field in your favor]].
# Offer to [[HandsOnApproach teach her to swing a baseball bat]].
# [[RescueRomance Rescue]] her from danger. Seriously, this usually always works.
# Get a job as her [[BodyguardCrush bodyguard]].
# Take your [[ShirtlessScene shirt off]].
# [[CelibateHero Swear off love]].
# [[BlackComedyRape Force yourself onto her]]. Every tear and protest she sheds will only cause her to fall even more hopelessly in love with a strong, assertive man like you. [[color:red:'''Warning:''' If you're in the kind of story in which this doesn't work, or you're in real life, doing this will at least screw up your karma and at most get you a life sentence, or even on-site death.]]
# If she happens to be an ActionGirl and BestHerToBedHer ''doesn't'' apply, try playing the [[WeaknessTurnsHerOn physically weak, frail, helpless]] [[IllGirl Ill Boy]].
** Alternatively, [[GuileHero prove that you can outdo her with your smarts rather than your strength]].
# Offer to help clean off that [[RomanceInducingSmudge bit of food stuck to her cheek]].
# Special Note: If [[WhereDaWhiteWomenAt you happen to be black, and she just so happens to be white, there are a TON of options available]]. These include:
** [[SoulBrotha Grow an afro and just be really, really cool]].
** [[BaldBlackLeaderGuy Or, shave your head and just be really, really cool]].
** Lose the UncleTomfoolery.
** Become [[UsefulNotes/BarackObama President of]] [[Series/TwentyFour the United States]].
*** Actually, this is [[PowerIsSexy extremely effective]] for [[UsefulNotes/BillClinton any man]], [[UsefulNotes/JohnFKennedy whatever his race]].
** Become [[Film/BlazingSaddles the new Sheriff of Rock Ridge]]. Though, some folks might need to get used to you.
*** If you do go this route, and all else fails, just offer to prove to them that [[BiggusDickus the rumors are, in fact, true]].
# [[Recap/DoctorWhoS35E11HeavenSent Punch through a wall 400 times stronger than diamond ''with your bare fists'']] in order to [[Recap/DoctorWhoS35E12HellBent save her life]]. Be sure to keep your daytimer clear for the next 4,500,000,000 years, however. And when she asks why later, do ''not'' say "Because I love you." Instead, be sure to force her to "do the math" by using an esoteric [[TheILoveYouStigma euphemism]] like "I had a duty of care."
# Show her [[InTouchWithHisFeminineSide your more sensitive sides and interests]], but don't be ''too'' sensitive; after all, you want to go for relatable and prove yourself as a man too. When combined with a more manly physique/disposition, it may [[RealMenWearPink work out]] in your favor for both her and your audience.

[[AC:NOTE]]: Role comes with a [[SortingAlgorithmOfMortality significant increase in the probability of dying]], especially if one of you has the CartwrightCurse.