''Want to have your dream girl or guy swoon over you? It's easy! Just select your gender:''

'''Females:'''
# Be the [[FirstGirlWins first one]] at the entrance when he comes in. (If someone else got there first, you can always [[LastGirlWins try waiting until the end]].)
# [[Series/{{Alias}} Dye]] your hair [[HeroesWantRedheads red]].
# If he's an American, become a [[AllGuysWantCheerleaders cheerleader]].
# Don't settle for a simple greeting; make your first meeting with him [[MeetCute extremely convoluted or sappy]] to prove that only fate could have thrown you two together. The CrashIntoHello meeting is especially popular.
# Even better, leave the bathroom door open for him to walk inside and see you {{naked| first impression}}. Not only does it leave a lasting impression, it also gives you an excuse to give him a MegatonPunch (see below).
# [[LoveAtFirstPunch Sucker punch]] him in the face or {{groin| attack}}.
# Act horrified at the thought that you could ever be in love with him and be a [[{{Tsundere}} cranky, volatile person]] around him. Remember, no hero likes a ClingyJealousGirl or [[ShrinkingViolet shy, blushing person]] with "I'M SOOOO IN LOVE" stamped on her forehead. As insurance, be the first to beat the crap of out of him for doing something that can be regarded as even slightly perverted.
# Make absolutely sure that you give each other your FirstKiss. [[IndirectKiss Sharing straws]] is acceptable; the rule of thumb here is if it can give mono, it probably counts.
# Tell him you [[ChildhoodMarriagePromise promised to marry him]] when you were five. This always, always, ''always'' works, just so long as he doesn't find out you're lying or remember that when he was five, he was [[GirlsHaveCooties afraid of girls]]. If he does, however, you [[UnluckyChildhoodFriend instantly lose it all]].
# If he's a manly man with rippling biceps, become the DamselInDistress to be [[RescueRomance swept up]] into his arms.
# Failing that, be a DoomMagnet, and find a man who is equally one himself. You'll [[BattleCouple bond together for safety alone]], even if you don't consider him your truest love. [[BeAWhoreToGetYourMan Promising him sex]] will help ensure that he [[ClosedCircle doesn't try to leave]], [[DeathByPragmatism which would only get him killed anyway]]. Just don't have ''[[DeathBySex too much]]'' sex.
# Somehow bribe the gods into [[CleaningUpRomanticLooseEnds removing all competition]], leaving you as their sole choice.
# [[BeautifulAllAlong Get contacts and let your hair down]].
# [[{{Meganekko}} Get glasses]].
# ... and [[HotLibrarian develop a love for books and other intellectual pursuits]].
# Get a [[HotScientist degree in chemistry]].
# [[GamerChick Get really good at video games]], tabletop games, or whatever it is the geek is into.
# [[AmazonChaser Work out your womanly figure and take fighting classes]].
# ...or [[NoGuyWantsAnAmazon stay delicate with no muscles]] if he's got an ego stake in fighting.
# [[DisabledLoveInterest Get a not-too-crippling disability]]. If you don't like the idea of permanently hurting yourself, [[IllGirl try getting a not-too-disfiguring and non-contagious disease]]. Nothing invokes those chivalrous instincts like a cough in the right moment. Watch out, though: if you're too good at, you may end up [[TooGoodForThisSinfulEarth dying in the end]].
# And make sure you ''never'' come off as [[NoGuyWantsToBeChased being overly eager or aggressive]].
# Offer to [[HandsOnApproach teach him how to dance]].
# ...or [[DuetBonding play a piano duet together]].
# [[LoveAtFirstNote Sing]].
# Secretly be male. A WholesomeCrossdresser never fails to get some important guys after her/him.
# Of course [[SweetOnPollyOliver dressing like a man]] works well too.
# If all else fails, [[BlackComedyRape force yourself]] onto him. It'll give you something to [[DoubleStandardRapeFemaleOnMale laugh about]] afterwards! [[color:red:'''Warning:''' If you're in real life, doing this will at least screw up your karma and at most get you a life sentence or on-site death.]]
# ...this may sound outrageous but.....if he happens to be [[SoulBrotha black]], [[WhereDaWhiteWomenAt be white. Just...be white]]. Seriously, this works way more often than it sounds.
** If he's anything else, AmbiguouslyBrown will usually work. Bonus points if you're [[Disney/{{Pocahontas}} a "savage"]].
# Your [[RomanticFalseLead main competition]] isn't allowed to admit her feelings until just before the end credits. Therefore, admit yours much sooner and attempt to gather enough audience sympathy make the confession stick.
** Do ''not'', however, proclaim love for someone within minutes of meeting them. Wait long enough to make everyone believe you took the time to actually get to know the person you claim to be in love with.
# [[SamusIsAGirl Conceal your gender and kick some serious ass right in front of him]]. Alternatively, help him to deal with a bunch of {{Mooks}} or the QuirkyMinibossSquad, still making believe you're male. And at just the right moment, when he hands out for a manly handshake and ask for your name, comply and reveal your face. Works all the time, no exceptions.

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'''Males:'''
# [[TroubledButCute Wear a leather jacket]].
# Be [[AllGirlsWantBadBoys aloof, quiet, and generally bad]]. Even if you don't get the girl, [[PerverseSexualLust fangirls will flock all over you]] because there must, simply ''[[DracoInLeatherPants must]]'', be a sensitive, [[TheWoobie tormented]] poetic soul underneath that bad boy veneer.
** For extra effect, be [[BastardBoyfriend abusive and sarcastic]] to her. [[BespectacledBastardBoyfriend Glasses optional]].
# When options 1 & 2 just won't work, be a [[SingleWomanSeeksGoodMan honourable, considerate, chivalrous, well-meaning guy]]. No, seriously, this actually works a ''lot'' more than you may think. Also, the women on whom this works are often better quality than the others.
# Go for the "[[{{Bishonen}} slender but lithe]]" look. What girl can say no to a pretty face like that?
# If you can't do either of the above, "[[AccidentalPervert accidentally]]" grope her breasts.
# ...or catch a [[PantyShot peek at her panties]].
# ...or walk in on her as she's [[NakedFirstImpression bathing or undressing]].
# ...or all of the above. Preferably all at the same time; at which some one will awkwardly stumble into the room for comedic effect.
# [[ChivalrousPervert Proposition her heavily but don't force her]]. If you do it properly, she may consider your offer indeed.
# It never hurts to sacrifice a goat or two to get the PowersThatBe to [[CleaningUpRomanticLooseEnds uneven out the playing field in your favor]].
# Offer to [[HandsOnApproach teach her to swing a baseball bat]].
# [[RescueRomance Rescue]] her from danger. Seriously, this usually always works.
# Get a job as her [[BodyguardCrush bodyguard]].
# Take your [[ShirtlessScene shirt off]].
# [[CelibateHero Swear off love]].
# [[BlackComedyRape Force yourself onto her]]. Every tear and protest she sheds will only cause her to fall even more hopelessly in love with a strong, assertive man like you. [[color:red:'''Warning:''' If you're in the kind of story in which this doesn't work, or you're in real life, doing this will at least screw up your karma and at most get you a life sentence, or even on-site death.]]
# If she happens to be an ActionGirl and BestHerToBedHer ''doesn't'' apply, try playing the [[WeaknessTurnsHerOn physically weak, frail, helpless]] [[IllGirl Ill Boy]].
** Alternatively, [[GuileHero prove that you can outdo her with your smarts rather than your strength]].
# Offer to help clean off that [[RomanceInducingSmudge bit of food stuck to her cheek]].
# Special Note: If [[WhereDaWhiteWomenAt you happen to be black, and she just so happens to be white, there are a TON of options available]]. These include:
** [[SoulBrotha Grow an afro and just be really, really cool]].
** [[BaldBlackLeaderGuy Or, shave your head and just be really, really cool]].
** Lose the UncleTomfoolery.
** Become [[UsefulNotes/BarackObama President of]] [[Series/TwentyFour the United States]].
*** Actually, this is [[PowerIsSexy extremely effective]] for [[UsefulNotes/BillClinton any man]], [[UsefulNotes/JohnFKennedy whatever his race]].
** Become [[Film/BlazingSaddles the new Sheriff of Rock Ridge]]. Though, some folks might need to get used to you.
*** If you do go this route, and all else fails, just offer to prove to them that [[BiggusDickus the rumors are, in fact, true]].
# [[Recap/DoctorWhoS35E11HeavenSent Punch through a wall 400 times stronger than diamond ''with your bare fists'']] in order to [[Recap/DoctorWhoS35E12HellBent save her life]]. Be sure to keep your daytimer clear for the next 4,500,000,000 years, however. And when she asks why later, do ''not'' say "Because I love you." Instead, be sure to force her to "do the math" by using an esoteric [[TheILoveYouStigma euphemism]] like "I had a duty of care."
# Show her [[InTouchWithHisFeminineSide your more sensitive sides and interests]], but don't be ''too'' sensitive; after all, you want to go for relatable and prove yourself as a man too. When combined with a more manly physique/disposition, it may [[RealMenWearPink work out]] in your favor for both her and your audience.

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!!Non-gender-specific advice:
'''[[AC:NOTE]]:''' This role comes with a [[SortingAlgorithmOfMortality significant increase in the probability of dying]], especially if one of you has the CartwrightCurse. Therefore the following advice may be relevant:
* First, refer to [[http://www.thalia.org/truelove.html this list]].
* TheHero is only dead when I have personally identified the body and [[HesDeadJim checked it for vital signs]].
* Even after thus ensuring it, I will not make any drastic decisions immediately. Particularly not that I should marry the EvilOverlord at once to save my people, but any decision is best made when I am not distraught.
* I will not delude myself that my romance with the local ChivalrousPervert or TheCasanova actually means anything, nor will I attempt to make our relationship long-term, knowing that if I did, I would wind up dumped, [[DisposableWoman dead in order to give him angst]], or he would suffer BadassDecay.
* If, at any point, I am looking for the hero (or any character, for that matter) with a friend and find myself in a giant empty space (field, cave, big room etc.) I shall search the space nearby before leaving. If the friend says "There's nothing here, let's go back," I shall walk forward a few inches. Chances are, the hero's right in front of me and is merely invisible, trapped, etc.
* No matter how infuriating my hero may be I will wait until ''after'' we save the world to tell him off. Especially if there is a countdown going on.
* No matter what the provocation I will ''never'' incapacitate my hero with a punch, kick or blunt object as it is certain he will be needed urgently immediately afterwards.
* If both I and the hero are interested in each other, but I cannot/will not truly open myself up to a relationship, I will tell him that clearly and bluntly. I will not torture either of our hearts with "maybe someday" or "if only" or with wistful sighs. I will stick to my decision unless something fundamental in the situation changes, and I will acknowledge, if not accept, that my refusal gives him the right to be involved with another love interest. This means no casual sex, no drama-fueled kisses.
* I will establish a friendly "may the best one win" relationship with the secondary love interest. Not only will this please my hero, it will save me from agonies of remorse when s/he bites the dust.
* If I am the secondary love interest I will remember that there are plenty more fish in the sea and not do anything foolish; there's the dark and troubled {{Lancer}}, the cute funny {{Sidekick}}, the hero's EvilTwin (clearly in desperate need of love), or even the EvilOverlord.
* I will never wear a leather catsuit. A nice [[SweaterGirl jersey knit]] is just as sexy and allows for greater freedom of movement.
* I will never wear a tall pointy hat with floaty veils just on general principle.
* I will learn to apologize when I do something wrong, no matter how stubborn I am. Always insisting on being right just makes me look immature.
* If I receive a phone call from the hero requesting I meet him at some strange and threatening place I will ring back to make sure it's really him.
* I will not use the fact that I am dating the TheChosenOne[=/=][[TheHero Hero]][=/=]{{Messianic|Archetype}} to slack on my character development. Most heroes are reasonably tolerant of flaws, but even they have limits. And a general rule of thumb is that heroes are good at attracting lovers. I am by no means his only chance at love, and I will remember this.
* I will never go ''anywhere'' unarmed or without backup. And I will ''always'' tell at least three different people where I am going and when I intend to return.
** Unless my only choices are suspected to be TheMole. Even then, I will try judicious FeedTheMole to flush them out before they are my only choice.
* If I am a journalist who started dating the hero to get the "inside story" and I honestly find myself falling for him, I will tell him of both facts the minute I realize the latter. Delaying on such things usually leads other sources (i.e, the villain) to reveal my secret just when the hero is most vulnerable, effectively crushing any chance of continuing a relationship with him.
* If my super power is something non-offensive, I will take various martial arts classes AND will learn how to play a physical sport like Rugby. If I am unable to do those things, I will invest the time and the money to get a gun and learn how to use it.
** Even if my super power does have offensive uses, [[BoxingLessonsForSuperman I will learn some more mundane skills to augment said power(s)]], [[EmpoweredBadassNormal or continue training ones I already have]].
* I will not fly off the handle every time the protagonist so much as implies that another woman is attractive. I will remember that actions are what count, and that every relationship has to work through jealousy, temptation and insecurity on the parts of both participants. Above all, I will try not to act like a spoiled, stuck-up little bitch every time life does not go my way.
* If I am the primary love interest, I will not wait to tell the Hero about my feelings A) Just before we're about to go fight the Evil Overlord, B) When one of us is dying, or C) When telling the Hero will distract him and put us in great danger. Instead, the first moment I have, I will sit down with the Hero, make him talk about my feelings, and go from there. If he accepts them, then we'll start in on a casual, slow-paced relationship that can speed up AFTER our journey to save the world is done. If he rejects me, I will no go join the villain. I will instead accept this and continue to support him on our journey, for you never know when rejection is just the Hero's way of trying to protect you.
** I will not pick inappropriate moments to have a whispered argument with the hero about all the reasons I broke up with him the last time we were together. Such moments might be when we're casing the Evil Overlord's joint or trying to get past the sleeping giant.
** Neither will I insist the hero gives me one last kiss before he goes. There's plenty of time for loving when he comes back safe.
** Telling him we will make sweet love for a period of no less then 12 hours when he gets back? May, however, motivate him.
* I will cut my hair short so it will not get in the way, or provide a handle for kidnappers to grab, if I cannot cut it for some reason, I will habitually wear it in a tight bun, and always carry extra ribbons, elastic bands, or what have you in case it comes undone. The Hero is, or should be, in love with me, not my long flowing tresses. Also, if I am attempting to remain unseen I will not wear anything brightly coloured or sparkly in my hair as that is generally detrimental to stealth.
* Whether I am male or female, if I have to break it off with anyone including the hero for whatever reason I will do my absolute best to break it to them gently and calmly and clearly explain my reasons for doing so. It may not stop [[ClingyJealousGirl clingly jealous ex's,]] [[StalkerWithACrush stalkers with a crush]] and/or prevent my ex from [[LoveMakesYouEvil going down the Dark Side,]] but being considerate does help minimize it.
* If I have information crucial to defeating the Evil Overlord/saving the world/fixing the hero's depressed mental state, I will relay that information immediately upon reuniting with them instead of getting distracted by a moment of romance. Even if I don't [[HisNameIs suddenly get killed before I tell them]], it will definitely cast doubt on my [[SkewedPriorities prioritizing skills.]]

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