I Need To Go Iron My Dog / Live-Action Films

• In All the President's Men, when Bob Woodward asks Ken Dahlberg about how his check wound up in the account of a Watergate burglar, Dahlberg exclaims that he can't talk now, his neighbor's wife has been kidnapped. She was.
• Dahlia in Aladdin (2019) attempts this when she's surprised by Jasmine's undercover op. She blathers about how wonderful it is to be a princess, then abruptly says she has to go clean her cat and leaves.
• Alvin and the Chipmunks: Ian Hawke deliberately lampshades this to show how fed up he is with Dave wasting his time.
  "I'm going to pretend I've got a lunch to go to. [checks watch] I've got a lunch to go to."
• Annie Hall:
  • Woody Allen gives a barely-disguised one to a spooky Christopher Walken:
    Duane: Can I confess something? I tell you this as an artist, I think you'll understand. Sometimes when I'm driving...on the road at night...I see two headlights coming toward me. Fast. I have this sudden impulse to turn the wheel quickly, head-on into the oncoming car. I can anticipate the explosion. The sound of shattering glass. The... flames rising out of the flowing gasoline.
    Alvy Singer: Right. Well, I have to - I have to go now, Duane, because I, I'm due back on the planet Earth.
  • There's another scene where Alvy, leery of Annie's becoming a regarded singer and expanding her social circle, begs off going to a party a fellow musician (Paul Simon) invites them to, claiming a previous engagement, and the next scene has them at the cinema showing The Sorrow and the Pity. Again.
• In American Psycho, Patrick Bateman declares at several serious moments that he has to "return some videotapes".
• When Otter says that a girl broke a date with him in Animal House, Boon asks if she used the "I have to wash my hair" excuse. Subverted with Otter's reply — "Dead mother".
• Back to the Future Part II: Lorraine uses the line "I have to wash my hair" on Biff. Ironically she wasn't trying to let him down easy, considering she had just told him to "take a long walk off a short pier". At least Biff deserved it.
• Bananas. Fielding Mellish tries to ask out a Sexy Secretary.
  Fielding: You busy tonight?
  Norma: Some old friends are coming over. We're gonna show some pornographic movies.
  Fielding: You need an usher?
  Norma: Aw, that's sweet. I'm busy.
• In Better Off Dead, Lane uses one of these to get away from a tenacious paperboy. "See, the problem here is, is that my little brother, this morning, got his arm caught in the microwave, and, and uh, my grandmother dropped acid, and she freaked out and hijacked a school bus full of penguins, so it's kind of a family crisis, so, come back later? Great."
• In Bohemian Rhapsody, Roger suggestively asks Freddie's sister, "What are you doing this weekend?" She replies, "Homework." It's not clear whether she's telling the truth, but what is clear is that she's not interested in his advances.
• In Bugsy Malone, when Fat Sam tells Talullah "Go make yourself beautiful" (in other words, make herself scarce while he talks shop with Bugsy), Talullah huffs, "Fine, I'll go manicure my gloves."
• Ty Webb in Caddyshack 2 does this after introducing Jackie to Chandler Young.
  Ty: Well, I'd like to stay and chat (glances at bare wrist) but I have a thing.
• In Class Act, the excuse that Popsicle gives his Uncle Theapolis for being out all night is that he's in the hospital with a broken leg. As he's about to leave and get off the phone, he then tells him that he has to go walk his dog.
• In the Framing Device of Deadtime Stories, Uncle Mike tries to get out of telling his nephew a story by claiming that he has to "iron the cat and vacuum the ceiling".
• Dirty Work: "I have to go...lift weights. What?!"
• In DodgeBall: A True Underdog Story, Owen sees his crush heading towards the bar just as the rest of the team is turning in for the night. He excuses himself by saying, "I gotta have a bathroom ...I mean...go to the—drink. ...in the bathroom." Dwight gives him a look and replies, "Whatever you do, wash your hands."
• Near the end of Don't Look Up, both Isherwell and President Orlean do this when they realize that they've doomed humanity and now need to sneak off to their secret "Plan B".
  Isherwell: Okay. We're all fine. Everyone's fine. It's gonna be alright. If you'll excuse me, nature calls. I'm just gonna go to the restroom for a moment.
  Orlean: Yes, I also think I should step out to the restroom for a moment.
• In Four Weddings and a Funeral, Tom is hitting on a woman at one of the weddings:
  Tom: Apparently, an enormous number of people actually bump into their future spouses at weddings, which is interesting.
  Woman: Yes, I met my husband at a wedding.
  Tom: (downs his entire drink at one gulp) Good Lord, I seem to have finished my drink. If you'll excuse me.
• In Groundhog Day, Phil can't even be bothered to make something up.
  Ned: So, what are you doing for dinner?
  Phil: Ummm...something else.
• In Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (and also in the book), Dumbledore uses this method to leave Harry alone with Professor Slughorn so as to persuade him to return to Hogwarts—specifically, by asking to use the loo. The fact he returns afterwards with a magazine he wants to keep "for the knitting patterns" just highlights his eccentricity and hilarious kookiness. It was still a nice bit of obfuscation.
• In The House of Yes, Jackie finds out her twin brother has a fiancée, prompting her to laugh hysterically and claim she has to go brush her hair.
• Monty Python's The Meaning of Life features one of the universe's most unfortunate examples, after some diners are disgusted by Mr. Creosote's constant vomiting.
  Wife of Guest: We have to go — um — I'm having a rather heavy period.
  [awkward pause]
  Guest: And...we...have a train to catch.
  Wife: Yes...of course. We have a train to catch. And I don't want to start bleeding over the seats.
• National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation:
  • This is played more or less straight by Rusty, who isn't making up excuses to allow his parents to talk, he just wants the hell outta the situation. "I gotta get to bed. I still gotta brush my teeth, feed the hog, still got some homework to do, still got those bills to pay, wash the car..." This is made even better by the fact that as he does this, Rusty looks at his bare wrist, pretending he has a watch. This is one of Chevy Chase’s trademark gags, the man who plays his father in the film.
  • After Clark drops off his Christmas gift to his boss, Mr. Shirley, said boss ends the awkward conversation with:
    Mr. Shirley: If you'll excuse me, I'm in the middle of an important call. [Beat, then picks up the phone] Get me somebody. Anybody. And get me somebody while I'm waiting.
• In The Parent Trap remake, when Chessy is reunited with Annie (who she hasn't seen for over a decade), tears begin to well up in Chessy's eyes. She asks Annie if she wants some food, and without waiting for an answer walks into the kitchen. Annie is wise enough not to follow.
  Chessy: I'm just gonna make you everything we have, OK?
• Private School:
  Arcade Voice: [playing "The Big Score" game] Hey, big boy. Think you're man enough to score with me?
  Jim Green: I am, if Bubba is.
  Arcade Voice: Oops, sorry, tonight I gotta wash my hair.
• Private Parts: Durning a montage where Howard is revealing all his failures in college to get a date due to his lack of looks, he finally asks a blind girl out. She smiles, before reaching up to feel his face to see what he looks like. The smile fades, and she hits him with this excuse: “I’m sorry. I have to reading to catch up on.”
• Michele from Romy and Michele's High School Reunion does this a couple of times. On one occasion she asks to be excused because "I cut my foot earlier and my shoe is filling up with blood"; the second time the situation is so awkward that she simply declares "I have to go...away."
• In Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, we see a Wheel of Fortune -esque wheel of various flimsy excuses in Scott's head when someone asks him who his former girlfriend Knives is in front of his new girlfriend Ramona, and the needle lands on the line between "I gotta pee" and "Who, her?" and he ends up saying "I gotta pee on her! I mean, I gotta pee. Pee time." The other options on the wheel that are visible (though you have to pause to see some of them) are "She's nobody", "She's forty!", "No speaka English", "Tell Pac-Man story", "Pass out", "Idiot!", "When's dinner?", "Uh..." "It was nothing" and "No, you are."
• In Shallow Hal, Mauricio sees Hal dancing with three unattractive women in a dance bar and decides to "rescue" him:
  Mauricio: Hey, Hal, it's ten o'clock. We have to go do that thing. You know, at the place.
• She's the Man: When caught in an awkward moment with Olivia and "Sebastian" (i.e. Viola), Duke says, while Distracted by the Sexy, "I gotta go change my ...feet."
• In The Strawberry Blonde, Virginia fends off Biff's persistent entreaties for another date by claiming her cousin just arrived unexpectedly from Scranton. Finally she agrees to go on a date with Biff three weeks from Tuesday — only to marry on that day Biff's evil rival Hugo.
• To Sleep with Anger: Almost word for word. Gideon has taken ill and is bedridden. Gideon's friend and Suzie's old admirer Okra stops by to visit. Gideon isn't even dead yet but Okra makes a very ill-considered proposal to marry Suzie if she's widowed. A stone-faced Suzie gets up from the table and says "Excuse me. I need to go feed my dog."
• In The Wedding Planner, self-appointed matchmaker Penny must contrive a reason to abandon the leads at a movie. "I just remembered that I promised my friend's brother's godmother that I would help her change her fax cartridge because she's going out of town tomorrow...on an African safari!"

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