Funny / Valkyrie

• After Stauffenberg suggests using Operation Valkyrie as the method to overthrow Hitler, the other members contemplate the problems in modifying the order, including the fact that the modified order will need to be signed by Hitler himself. As the members remain stunned at that detail, Stauffenberg stoically says:
  Stauffenberg: Well, we can all draw straws for that job.
• Even in such a dark and serious movie, it's hard not to laugh at Col. Quirnheim's upbeat and enthusiastic comment about plastic explosives.
  "Any problem on Earth can be solved with the careful application of high explosives. The trick is not to be around when they go off."
• Field Marshal Keitel's introduction, in which he is exploding at General Fromm.
  "I'd send you to the front if I didn't think you'd surrender just to be Montgomery's whore!"
• Immediately after that, when Olbricht introduces Stauffenberg and Fromm, where Stauffenberg responds to Fromm's joke in poor taste about his missing hand by poking fun at the fact Fromm's been chewed out by Keitel moments before. There is an awkward pause...and then Fromm breaks into self-deprecating laughter.
  Fromm: It's about time they put someone with balls into this office.
• At the beginning in Tunisia, Stauffenberg is arguing with a newly arrived general against pressing an attack on a nearby city, as doing so will leave them trapped between British and American forces closing in, and that they'd be better served to try to save their men for the inevitable defensive battles to come in Europe. Stauffenberg bluntly insists that "We can serve Germany or the Führer, not both". When the General icily remarks that talk like that is what got him sent to the desert in the first place, Stauffenberg responds, totally deadpan "What I said was much worse".
• When Tresckow gives Colonel Brandt a bomb to take down Hitler's plane, which is disguised as a bottle of Cointreau, his response is "Let's hope I don't get thirsty on the flight."
• After Major Remer gets the second stand-by order for the Reserve Army in as many days, he makes a crack to his adjutant about how the practice of killing the bearer of bad news is no longer in fashion.
  Major Remer: You know, in ancient Greece, you would have been killed for this. Lucky for you we've evolved.
• A meta example. Since Stauffenberg is played by Tom Cruise, jokes about this movie being the one Mission: Impossible installment where the mission is actually impossible are plenty.