Funny / Thrilling Intent

Here you will find most of the series.

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The Adventure Begins

• The group comes across a merchant selling "magic gems" which were actually colored glass. Markus convinces the man that a particularly small shard has real power.
  • Brought full circle when a monster invades the town and he attempts to fight it off with the shard. Markus tells him not to waste the awesome power of the gem on something that pathetic.
• The monster is hiding in the Lair Of The Pigbat King. It's just a bat that they taped to a pig. Sadly, it was not awake during the crew's adventures.
• After killing the monster, the staff of Meadshire state that nobody could have killed it and therefore the gang is too strong to be human. The gang proceeds to run as the far too cheery theme song begins to play. Gregor is nice enough to be arrested after he's asked, Markus tries to hide in some dirt, and Ashe attempts to murder Thog for not mentioning that they'd be arrested for this.

The Adventure Began

• Literally everything in the first episode. In an attempt to get out of paying for their supposed crime, the gang tries to trick the judge. They're arrested for three separate counts of table climbing by the end of it.
• For some amount of time, Gregor is Level Yay. Once he becomes hurt, his level becomes Ow and his experience bar becomes Oh No Oh No Oh No.
• At the end of the arc, Ashe gains "The horrifyingly realization that her first true friendship was with an aging paladin that she abandoned for Markus and Gregor."

The Shrouded Isles

The Prison Of Lights

• Despite trying to dodge a horrifying monster, the gang manages to stealth their way through most of the Prison Of Lights without catching its attention. And then, of course, they fail at the exact last second.

Dealing with Death

• The many moments of Kyr trying to figure out just what Ashe is actually doing, despite Ashe's many declarations of her powers being not magic.
• Kyr points out that many gods used to pass through the area of Nine Shrines, like the Fox King who lives in a mansion next to a lake filled with lanterns. He then points out that's not where they're going: they're going to the shrine on a mountain made of sadness. The party is thrilled to hear this.
• The group performs a play for Charoth, which involves Ashe and Markus acting out a tragic romance. This is not at all helped by the fact that both Ashe and Markus overact every single word. The animated cutscene includes Cherry Blossoms, Love Bubbles, and the both of their faces drawn in a Shoujo-esque style.
  • Even better? This was Ashe's idea. They just needed to get Charoth to understand what death was, and she chose a tragic romance story. The play is then interrupted by Gregor, who Ashe then proclaims is Markus's new love.

Incorpageddon

• The group return to Meadshire. Turns out that the slave contracts from The Adventure Began are still active, much to the group's collective fury. Also, the next Meadshire event will involve Thog becoming an elf. The gang is there for all of maybe three minutes before they decide to murder everybody and burn the place to the ground.
• The password to the underground tunnels is "I wear my underwear backwards, briefs not boxers". Thog sounds mortified to have spoken the words aloud.
• Ashe's morality begins to take a nosedive.

  Ashe: I don't care. I'm going to burn down this entire installation. And there is NOTHING. That they can do. To stop me.

• Markus and Kyr act as intimidation by menacingly lighting a candle a young child.
• Thog using copious amounts of loopholes and law in order to spite Meadshire. This also legally classifies Ashe, Markus, Gregor and Kyr as natural disasters rather than people.

  Thog: I of course refer to the specific instance where the CEO of a company made friends with a tornado!

Deck of Disaster

Wizard Highschool

• The group has to make up aliases and convince a guard to let them enter the Coven of Dusk. Thog is at a loss for a reason, resulting in this line.
  Thog: Hello, my name is Dan and I would like to come in your wizard hole.

Romance of the Four Clans

• The Mayor in episode 60.
  Mayor: Used to be gods around these parts, y'see? Used to be a god of the harvest that people used to follow around and eat the apples that fell right out of his butt!

The Gods Are Gone

Everything is On Fire

• Narn, a Zeth, sets everything on fire and it is up to the group to stop the mass fire and Narn.

Thrilling intent and the village of corpses

• When Marcus and Kyr casually rebury a zombie that arose from the ground in part 4 the way Marcus simply places a hand on it's head and slowly pushes it back into the grave is pretty funny.
• When Marcus reads the final page of The Grave Journey of Mortibus Fernando Jay reads out the contents in bored monotone, when they find his dying passage Jay proceeds to describe his final moments in the same bored monotone.
  Fernando: Oh gods, oh gods they're tearing my legs off. Oh why please, my legs. I have the key to the door, the only key. If only I could make it there without my legs — Fernando Moritbus.

Liquor and Spirits

• Ashe gets drunk off her ass with the ban.

Big War

• "Markus Velafi's Conga Line for Peace." Need I say more?

Dungeon Truck

Where All Light Fades

• Part ll:
  • While discussing their next course of action and complaining about mechanics, Markus suddenly has a flashback to his father discussing the philosophy of and the king's interest in mechanics to a disinterest young Markus. Followed by:
    Markus: So, wait, Dad, can you read me a book or not?
    Breem: No. Now place these hidden floor tiles. I need pressure plates all over the kitchen by noon.
  • Mercy ends up encouraging everyone to salute the mechanic they bypassed out of guilt for having thwarted the designer.
• Part 12:
  • When a player points out a cage, there's another flashback to Markus' father explaining set dressing. Brennan sums it up as such:
    Brennan: Wow, a beautiful way to say it was nothing.
  • After escaping from a trapped room with a key by swinging on a hanging cage, Markus and Harlock start joking about swinging together more.
    Mercy: And I presume, as swingers, you have your keys?
• Part 13:
  • The gang reveals a line of skeletons in perfect position to spank any passers-by.
  • When it's revealed that the goo that comprises the enemies the gang has encountered is coming in through pipes, Harlock asks if anyone knows how to clog a toilet. Markus asks if this is a trick question.
    • The conversation spirals into how Markus wipes if he doesn't bring toilet paper while adventuring. Gregor suggests just using a bidet.
  • While discussing the use of making the effort to collect an extra mysterious item, which Harlock has randomly decided are pants, Harlock chastizes Markus for not wanting to get the item. Markus asks if she's been diagnosed with completionism and offers his condolences.
    • Upon actually investigating the item, Jay gives a beautiful description of the way the light dances around within it. Markus immediately asks where the leg holes are.
• Part 14:
  • The gang debates on whether or not to get the key at the end of "spank alley" (AKA "spank railway," "spank aisle"), with Markus insisting they just leave to the next floor while the rest of the group tries to figure out a way through. As they debate, a skeleton chimes in.
    Skeleton: Yeah, we got eggs over here!
    Markus: There's no egg.
    Harlock: The skeletons are alive?
    Markus: There's no egg, just that one.
    Mercy: They spank, of course they're alive.
    Gregor: Of course they are.
    Markus: I mean, like, what is alive, also?
    Harlock: To be spanked.
    Gregor: The skeletons are.
    • Markus then calls the obvious lie "spank bait."
    • Harlock concedes that while Markus has no ass, they could just send Mercy in and "she'll win." Mercy adds in that the skeletons might just break, with Harlock adding they're weak to blunt damage.
    • As Harlock has Mercy superheat her hand so she can break a long length of chain:
      Markus: We don't even need another key! What would we use it for!?
      Harlock: I've been diagnosed with completionism!
    • Markus starts sassing them about their plan.
      Jay: Both of you, give me a D20. This will not be hard.
      Markus: It's a good thing it wasn't hard, huh?
      Harlock: It's amazing how he becomes his father once spanking's involved.
      Jay: The worst—there it is, the worst line in TI! You've done it!
  • Gregor and Harlock make their way down spank alley, butt to butt. This does not save Harlock from getting spank in dramatic fashion.
    Harlock: Something assaulted by dumpy.
    • William requests to see the GM notes after the session's over. Jay enthusiastically agrees.
    • On the return, Harlock takes another spank so Gregor doesn't have to. The two proceed to act as though Harlock took a bullet for him. Markus and Mercy unenthusiastically question what's going on from the sidelines.
  • Harlock jokes that she and Gregor invented the stance of the krusty krab. Markus asks why it's krusty, and everyone just mutters filler words in response. Gregor immediately moves on to expressing disgust about how their butts touched.
    • Harlock claims the soul is stored in the butt, which is why Gregor felt that their souls touched during their shared stance.
  • Mercy suggests there could be an additional key hole the spank key could be used for. Markus suggests it says "fuck you, one more" underneath.
• Part 18:
  • Mercy builds up momentum with her anvil through constantly teleporting it in and out of the stairwell. However, Mercy can only send the anvil to and from her forge, meaning that it's rapidly blinking in and out of her workshop. Cue a scene of one of the twins getting Fariah to help with what Jay describes as "a fucking occurrence."
  • Kyl'il says she actually comes from the comet that killed the dinosaurs.
  • The spanking skeletons, freed from the will of The Warlord, are revealed to have once been adventurers who had travelled into the Prison of Lights. While the party debates what to do with the space and the skeletons, Mercy suggests the skeletons work as assistants for her husband, only for Harlock to immediately call it slavery and for Gregor to point out labor laws aren't a concern on The Shrouded Isles.
    Mercy: Boy, I don't like the words that were thrown around. I've changed my mind entirely.
    • During this exchange, Kyl'il expresses fascination with how humans interact with one another. Harlock says she doesn't think the skeletons are human anymore. Mercy interjects with a half cautious, half admonishing "woah, let's be careful."

Dark Vision

• Part 1:
  • Markus introduces Dont, in pigbat form and refusing to speak, as the homeroom teacher for Melody and Malory.
    Markus: Now, I know what you're thinking! I-I don't, actually, what are you thinking?
    Mercy: I... [distraught] Markus.
• Part 2:
  • Harlock's internal conflict around stepping onto the Shrouded Isles:
    Harlock: Gregor, you have to understand. I know, like, logistically, I've already been back on this island, but I feel like if I take this step, if I establish where I live and my situation here, then there is no return.
    Gregor: ... Okay?
    Harlock: Yeah, you're right, let's go.
  • Gregor actually getting annoyed with Harlock's insistence on calling the island "Gooftown," which quickly gets canonized as an actual district of The Shrouded Isles that Gregor has an intense hatred for. He later gets extremely excited at the idea of becoming mayor in order to destroy Gooftown, and worries about getting elected before anyone else can put up the infrastructure to impede him.
    • When Gregor later claims they came in to benevolently rule the island when Mercy asks about how there's no government, Markus and Inien express discomfort. Harlock rubs it in by claiming it's their divine right.
  • With no one else at the bar, Gregor serves as bartender for Harlock. She requests his strongest drink, and be brings her a glass of water to support her immune system.
  • The gang decides to convert to the bird pound as a unit of measurement, which is like a pound but with deception.
• Part 3:
  • While Mercy talks with Inien about tutoring her children, Markus gets distracted by a house full of bananas, described only as a "the clown and banana house."
    • When Inien responds bashfully, she distracts Markus by pointing out Gregor destroying the clown and banana house.
      Gregor: We should put up some fences, make it a little less... silly over here.
  • Harlock and Inien, jealous of Mercy's happily wedded life, debate if they should make happiness illegal in Gooftown. William chimes in to point out they're just describing Toontown Online.
• Part 5:
  • Mercy asks if Kyl'il would like for someone to hold her hand to guide her, intending to suggest Markus. Harlock immediately volunteers instead.
    Harlock: This one's mine, pal. You've had, like, ten years.
    Markus: I've been-I've been playing this game since before you lived here, bro.
• Part 6:
  • A creepy, shadow like figure is spotted by the party, leading to a unanimous call for lore, to which Kyl'il says she didn't know what it is and it seemed scary. Mercy asks her to make something up, and she says they're the remnants of ancient dinosaurs.
  • In trying a more diplomatic approach to understanding the strange figures, Inien steps on a prone Markus who uses this as an attempt to commiserate about the indignity with his fellow floor people.
• Part 8:
  • Markus finds a collection of hatch marks suggesting the previous residents of the watch tower were trapped there for years. Inien suggests it was just someone trying to be funny on their last day, and Gregor suggests it's braille.
    Markus: Gregor, can you read braille?
    Gregor: No.
    Markus: Oh, okay, well...
    Gregor: And it gave me splinters.
  • While the group debates if they should just go back and wait until morning for the maximum amount of safety, Harlock asks Markus if he would have the characters in his book retreat because the adventure was a little too scary. He responds yes, and the trick is to fill the time with a spicy sex scene, prompting Mercy to say this:
    Mercy: That makes me think, where is Faria?

Thrilling holidays

Last Call