We all know how Greek tragedies go, but at least there's enough humor in the story to keep readers from crying too hard.
- When Achilles (dressed as a girl and called Pyrrah) sees Patroclus, he dashes over and practically leaps into his arms causing Patroclus to fall backwards. Lycomedes and Deidamia demand to know who Patroclus is to "Pyrrah" and Achilles responds that Patroclus is his husband. The reader can practically hear Patroclus' head short-circuiting as he processes that statement.
- Odysseus beginning to happily tell the story about how he met his wife Penelope to Patroclus and Achilles. One of the kings yells that he was going to fucking kill Odysseus if he had to hear this story one more time. Odysseus gently snarks that he was the one who asked for a story.
- Later on in the story the figurehead of his ship was carved to look like his wife, and he's quite proud of the likeness. However, since Penelope didn't like posing for the artist, he had to have him sneak around in order to get glimpses of Penelope for references.
- Near the end of the story, after his death, Patroclus admits that he genuinely thought Odysseus was making Penelope up.
- Before they set off for Troy, Patroclus lies in a tent while Achilles compliments his hair, collarbone, chest, hips, and...Patroclus doesn't tell the reader what Achilles last referred to, but narrated "'Surely, I would not have forgotten this.' His cat's smile." Mind you, Achilles complimented Patroclus's body parts in a descending order.
- How does Patroclus communicate to Briseis that he and Achilles weren't going to rape her? He grabs the front of Achilles garb and kisses him.
- Achilles and Patroclus ponder on Helen's abduction and whether or not she truly was abducted. Achilles believes she wasn't, since he thinks being married to Meneleas would warrant anyone to want to escape him in any way. Patroclus on the other hand wonders if Helen being taken away was due to a god's interference, likely Aphrodite. Achilles then teasingly ends their conversation by asking Patroclus which one of the suitors he would have chosen, to which Patroclus responds by playfully pushing him.
- After meeting with Briseis to make sure she was being treated well, he speaks to her in her language, Anatolian, promising he would come back to see her again. Agamemnon asks Briseis what Patroclus told her and she says that Patroclus was admiring her dress.
- As Patroclus attempts to climb the walls of Troy, it is a bit jarring to the reader as well when he looks up to see Apollo smiling down on him. The god then plucks his fingers off the wall which causes him to lose his grip and fall to the ground.
