The 1970s series
- One word: "Password!"
- Another word: "Assume."
- Felix and Oscar doing role-reversal therapy in "I Gotta Be Me."
- "The Jury Story", Felix and Oscar get a glimpse of each other's room service meals: Felix orders sand dabs and a side of cottage cheese, and Oscar orders a rare steak with a baked potato and fried onions. Felix remarks how tasty Oscar's meal looks, but the look of horror on his face as Oscar drowns his steak in A-1 sauce and ketchup speaks volume.
Oscar: This is a good steak! Mmm!Felix: Do you always talk with your mouth full?Oscar: Only when I'm eating. Where's the butter?Felix: It's on your sleeve.
Oscar: It's 10:00... sand dabs, sinuses, ears, nerve medicine... I've never known anybody who hung his socks on a hanger! What kind of a person does that?!Felix: A neat person.Oscar: Yeah, maybe a weird person!Felix: (Insulted) I did not asked to be locked in this room with you.Oscar: Okay. Okay, that last crack wasn't called for, but you're not the easiest guy to share a room with.Felix: Aren't you going to apologize?Oscar: (Shrugs) Okay, I apologize.Felix: It's too late for that!
- From the same episode, Felix goes to bed early, forcing Oscar to do the same, but every time Oscar tries to fall asleep, one of Felix's quirks (nasal honking, clearing his ears) disturbs him.
- Felix confronts Lovelace, the building super intendent, and threatens a rent strike if he goes through with his plans to raise rent.
Lovelace: You're a trouble-maker, Unger.Felix: And darned proud of it! This country was founded by trouble-makers!
- "And Leave the Greyhound to Us", Felix and Oscar adopt a scrawny, pitiful-looking greyhound, and while Oscar wants it simply to race it, Felix absolutely falls in love with it and dotes on it like a mother would her child, from feeding and watering it, to showering it with affection, and even singing operetta to it.
- "A Night to Dismember", a "Rashomon"-Style episode that recalls the night Oscar and Blanche divorced, in which Oscar ends up with a young female tennis player in the bedroom and Blanche ends up with a hunky quarterback in the kitchen, with Felix caught in the middle. The only two details that are exactly the same in Oscar and Blanche's respective stories are Felix arriving at the party with, "My sinuses are killing me, but I won't let that ruin your party," and his concern for the coats on the bed being wrinkled. Felix makes himself out to be the life of the party and the victim by claiming responsibility for unwittingly separating Oscar and Blanche in his own retelling (and neither of them are impressed).
- "Two Men On A Hoarse" features this little master class in pantomime and comic timing: Oscar returns home after a throat surgery, which has left him temporarily mute, and looks grouchier than ever. Felix tells him that, while Oscar was away, he's thought about what may have caused Oscar to lose his voice in the first place. When Felix asks what it might have been, Oscar, while glaring daggers into Felix, immediately points at him in the angriest way possible.
The 2015 series
- From the original play & film (and reused for the 2015 show): "I've told you 158 times I can't stand little notes on my pillow. "We're all out of cornflakes. F.U." Took me three hours to figure out F.U. was Felix Unger!"
- One from the pilot of the 2015 show: Oscar's date, Casey, goes to his door to cancel, due to her sister visiting, and Oscar suggests bringing her to double with Felix:
Casey: I can't do that to Emily, she gets so emotional and high strung—(Oscar, without looking back, opens the door the rest of the way, revealing Felix crying hysterically about his divorce. Casey's eyes widen.)Oscar: So, you'll bring Emily by?Casey: It's a date.
- Oscar and Felix have to break into Ashley's place to obtain something Felix left behind after the divorce:
Oscar: Alright, we'll go in the back and get in the elevator and then we'll— (sees Felix putting on a beanie and gloves)...do a series of ninja moves to get through the laser field, and then the jewels will be ours!
- When Dani is promoted to producer of Oscar's radio show, she hires a middle-aged British woman named Margo as his replacement assistant, who proves to be absolutely terrible at her job. How terrible, you ask?
Margo: Here's your coffee, sir. Two shots, one sugar, just like you like it.
Oscar: Thanks, Margo. [sips from it] Hmm... this is mushroom soup.