Hfuhruhurr: Little girl… I want you to do something very important, alright?
Six year old girl: Ok.
Hfuhruhurr:I want you to run home, and I want you to call the ER of North Bank general hospital. 932-1000. Tell him to set up O.R.6 immediately and contact anesthesiologist Isadora Turek 472-2112 beep 12. Have him send an ambulance with a paramedic crew, light I.V D5NW-KVO, you got it?
Six year old girl:(flawlessly) E.R North Bank General Hospital 932-1000 setup O.R6, contact anesthesiologist Isadora Turek 472-2112 beep 12. Ambulance with paramedics and light I.V. D5NW and KVO.
Hfuhruhurr: That’s good.
Six year old girl: Sounds like a subdural hematoma to me.
Hfuhruhurr:(annoyed) Oh… it does, does it? Well, its not your job to diagnose!
Six year old girl: But I thought…
Hfuhruhurr:(enraged) You thought, you thought, just go! Three years of nursery school and you think you know it all! Well you’re still wet behind the ears. It’s not a subdural hematoma, its epidural'! Ha! God damn that makes me mad!
The lead character's name is Hfuhruhurr, which is funny enough all by itself.
The dialogue during Dolores' initial surgery involving her exposed private parts and the heart his assistant shaved on it since it's Valentine's Day.
"I suppose if it were Christmas, you'd hang ornaments on it!"
"Ugh, my... Balls!"
Hfuhruhurr suffering through the world's toughest drunk-driving test, which culminates in simultaneous juggling, tap-dancing and singing the "Catalina Madelina" song.
The scene revealing the identity of the Elevator Killer:
The Elevator Killer: ..But then I got famous, and — it's just too hard for me. And so many witnesses. I mean, everybody recognized me. I couldn't even lurk anymore. I'd hear, "Who's that lurking over there? Isn't that Merv Griffin?"