Funny / Stephen Hawking

  • His appearance on Last Week Tonight with John Oliver.
    • The interview starts off hilarious right away.
      John: First off, congratulations on being the first subject of our Great Minds series. Be honest, is this the single greatest honor you have ever received?
      Hawking: Yes.
      John: Good!'s a little hard to read your tone of voice. When you say that, are you being sarcastic?
      Hawking: Yes.
    • On the topic of artificial intelligence outsmarting humans:
      Hawking: There's a story that scientists built an intelligent computer. The first question they asked it was, "Is there a god?" The computer replied, "There is now." And a bolt of lightning struck the plug so it couldn't be turned off.
      John: ...holy shit, that's the most terrifying story I've ever heard.
      Hawking: Yes.
      John: Hold on... Who is talking to me right now? Is it you or is it a sentient computer pretending to talk on your behalf.
      Hawking: It's me.
      John: Yeah, but how do I know that, Professor, 'cause if computers had become sentient, what better way to convince people they hadn't than by co-opting the voice of the most intelligent man on the planet?
      Hawking: You're an idiot.
      John: Yeah, but who's saying that, Stephen, you or the machine?
      Hawking: Both of us.
    • Perhaps the most iconic moment:
      John: You've stated that you believe there could be an infinite number of parallel universes. Does that mean that there is a universe out there where I am smarter than you?
      Hawking: Yes. And also a universe where you're funny.
  • And another appearance in Monty Python Live (Mostly): One Down, Five to Go - running down Professor Brian Cox for picking apart "The Galaxy Song", and then flying off into the galaxy while singing the song.
  • His birthday was two days after that of Eddie Redmayne, who played him in The Theory of Everything. When Redmayne pointed this out, saying they're both Capricorns, Hawking replied "I'm an astronomer, not an astrologist."
  • Judging by the previews, his upcoming Little Britain sketch for Comic Relief where Lou is his new career is shaping up to be this:
    Lou: We'll have a nice look around; I'll take you home and get your tea on; and then, if you're very good Stevie, you can watch Peppa Pig.
    Stephen Hawking: Piss off.
  • When asked about the cosmological significance of Zayn leaving One Direction he responded "Finally, a question that matters."
    • On the same subjected, he also suggested that people upset over Zayn's departure from the band should deal with their grief by studying physics, in the hopes that they may discover a parallel universe in which 1D is still intact.
  • According to an interview with someone who worked with him during his cameo on The Simpsons, Hawking has a macro on his voice synthesizer to ask his driver to slow down. His kids once rigged it to instead say, "Go, you bastard! GO!"
  • Proving he could make even his own passing memorably funny, he passed away on March 14. Better known as both Pi Day and the birthday of Albert Einstein.
  • In his guest appearance in Star Trek: The Next Generation episode "Descent: Part I", Stephen, or rather, his holographic self, won a poker game against Data and the holographic Einstein and Newton. Years later, Stephen saw Brent Spiner and asked "Where's my money?"
  • Generally speaking, though, as viewers can attest to his many guest television appearances, the man had an incredible sense of humor.