Funny / Spider-Man Beyond

• In the first issue, Peter chases Ben who is wearing a Spider-Man suit very similar to Peter. Ben shakes Peter off by deploying a "spinneret" drone that restrains Peter. The funny part comes from what the Spinneret says.
  You will be released in one hour. Please take this time to reflect on your life.
• Issue #78 (BEY.):
  • Ben's less-than-enthusiastic reaction to the training simulation he is put through.
  "Avengers Murder Mansion"?! Really?! I'll bet John Walker didn't have to do this kind of thing.
  • Ben encounters a chainsaw-wielding Captain America.
  Captain America: Welcome to the Avengers, Spider-Man. Hope you survive the experience!
  Ben: Isn't that an X-Men thing?
  Colleen: So it's an X-Men thing. Gimme a break. I never dated any Avengers.
• Issue #80: Janine's threat to Marcus on what she will do to him if Ben is hurt.
  Janine: And I'd like to remind you that I'm the one who's done time and knows how to handle herself. So if I drop-kick you in the chest to protect the man I love, then I hope you're ready for this tiny ginger to tap-dance the Cheers theme all over your sternum. I swear to God I'll do it, Marcus.
  • She also takes the time to scare the Beyond techs in her apartment.
  Janine: And I see you!
  Tech 1 (frantically pushing the elevator button): Come on! Come on! Come on!
  Tech 2: I told you we should have left the cable.
• Issue #80 (BEY.):
  • The issue features Aunt May and Otto Octavius on the cover with a caption stating "The hottest couple in comics is back together!".
  • Otto's attempts at flirting with May in general are good for a laugh, but this one takes the cake.
  May: I don't need some big strong man to come sweep me up in his arms the second things get dicey.
  Otto: What about a man with eight arms?
  • When they arrive at their first lead, Otto is very gung ho about getting started.
  Otto: Their silence is but a taunt. We must burst in and take what is ours!
  May: Maybe let's try a light touch first Otto. (Rings the door bell)
  • Eric, the superintendent of the building the U-Foes were hiding in, mispronounces pro bono as "pro boner".
  • Otto takes a Hands-On Approach to helping May operate a device. Eric is so uncomfortable that he gives them Infinite Solutions' business card so they can leave.
  • Otto and May pose as a married couple visiting their grandson who is being held in Infinite Solutions. Otto tries to play the role of doddering grandfather to hilarious results.
  We are quite devastated by his absence. We wish to ease his mind with cookies. Lots of cookies that we baked with love. Lots of love.
• Issue #83: Peter is happily reading a text from MJ when he also notices that Felicia wrote "I like watching you sleep" on the ceiling of his hospital room with lipstick.
  Peter: Hope I don't get billed for that.
• Issue #92 (BEY.): There's bound to be some laughs when Monica Rambeau and Machine Man are involved.
  • Monica finds a drunk Machine Man who's depressed over Jocasta breaking up with him. What really makes the scene funny is Monica going from exasperated to visibly angry while listening to Aaron's pity party.
  Machine Man: So I thought, what the hell? Maybe I could be a supervillain. That'd show her. So I joined the Beyond Villain Program. But it turns out I'm too depressed to to even do that.
  • The above leads to Monica very literally kicking Aaron's ass across the entire room.
  • This one takes the cake:
  Monica: Aaron, I need you to use your robot brain.
  Machine Man: My big, beautiful robot brain!
  Monica: No way! Absolutely not!
  Machine Man: Say it! Say you need my big, beautiful robot brain!
  Monica (with very obvious annoyance): I need your big, beautiful robot brain.
  • And later:
  Machine Man: Killing an entire facility with my big, beautiful robot brain. Who's directionless now, Jocasta?!
  • Doug Siravanta, a Beyond employee whom Ben encountered in issue #80, is trying to convince Human Resources not to fire him due to previous events.
    • When the human resources woman mentions all the resources Beyond used to rescue him from Kraven, Doug tries to pass this off as him deliberately allowing Kraven to kidnap him to draw the hunter out and have Spider-Man defeat him.
    • Doug had also been warned several times to stop signing off his e-mails as "Doug the Thug, aka the Laotian Commotion." His response? "What I'm not understanding is why Beyond won't let me be great!"
    • The woman is about to make Doug's termination official when everyone is alerted that Ben is storming the Beyond building. Everyone flees... except Doug who uses the opportunity to give himself a promotion and then walk out the office whistling.