History Funny / SpiderMan2

--->'''Spider-Man:''' Okay I'll bite. How ''did'' the fish bowl get stuck on your head?
'''Mysterio:''' Insolent human! You are no match for the power of Mysterio!
'''Spider-Man:''' ''Mysterio?'' I think I had a bowl of Mysterios for breakfast.

** Earlier is [[HamAndCheese Mr. Aziz]]'s immortal dialogue:

** Earlier is Mr. Aziz's immortal dialogue:

'''Mr. Aziz:''' '''GOOoooOOO!'''

'''Mr. Aziz:''' '''GOOOOOOOO!'''

** Moments later, he reopens the door and looks at Peter and asks [[CatchPhrase “Rent?”]] Peter [[NoJustNo grabs the doorknob and closes the door on Mr. Ditkovich’s face]].

** Just to make it even better, Peter cheekily leaves a message signed "[[CatchPhrase your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man]]" in the time it takes Jameson to notice that he's been there and taken his suit back.

'''Spider-Man:''' [[BlatantLies I got a few. Yeah!]]\\

[[caption-width-right:350:One gets the impression the Daily Bugle doesn't want ''this'' picture of Spider-Man...]]

* Following getting fired from his pizza delivery job, Peter tries to sell some non-Spider Man photos to J. Jonah Jameson. Pretty much every single line Jameson has in the ensuing conversation is hilarious:

** In the outtake immediately following the false teeth mishaps, JK Simmons tries to say the "I WANT SPIDER-MAN!" line but shakes his hand so much he crumbles up the piece of paper he was holding and chooses to toss it away mid-sentence and say "I WANT... A NEW PROP!" instead.

** J. Jonah Jameson is willing to pay Peter $300 for Spider-Man photos...but only $50 for the actual costume, to which the garbageman protests, "I could get more than that on [=eBay=]!" So Jonah raises his buying price to $100 and asks Ms. Brant to throw in a bar of soap.

*** The novelization adds some extra hilarity to this when Doc Ock reads the story and is actually ''annoyed'' it overshadowed his own coverage.

* This phenomenally dickish taunt from Doc Ock when he drops Aunt May off a building:

-->'''Doc Ock:''' [[BondOneLiner You have a train to catch.]] ''[salutes Spider-Man]''

[[[[caption-width-right:350:One gets the impression the Daily Bugle doesn't want ''this'' picture of Spider-Man...]]]

--->'''Mr. Aziz''': You have to go 42 blocks, in 7 and a half minutes, or your ass is fired.\\
''(Peter just stands there)''\\
'''Mr. Aziz''': '''GOOOOOOOO!'''

'''Jameson:''' ''[ignores Robbie]'' Parker, I don't pay ya to be a sensitive ''artiste''! I pay you because... ''[notices Betty trying again to come in]'' Still not now! ''[Betty walks back out]'' ... I pay you because for some reason that psycho Spider-Man'll pose for you!\\

''(Peter stops dead on his tracks with a look that clearly screams ThisIsGonnaSuck)''\\
'''Peter:''' ''(Smiles)'' Hi!\\

--->'''Mr. Ditkovich:''' Don’t try to sneak past me. I have ears like a cat and eyes like a rodent. ''(Makes a snarly face)''\\
'''Peter:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Thanks, Mr. Ditkovich]].

'''Mrs. Jameson:''' ''(poses with the Minister)'' Beautiful tie!\\

'''Mrs. Jameson:''' ''(both pose with the DA)'' Beautiful dress!\\
'''Jameson:''' Oh here, get a shot of the Mayor and his girlfriend… ''(the mayor and his wife glare)'' [[VerbalBackspace wife]].

---> '''Doc Ock:''' Peter Parker. And the girlfriend. Took my advice, did you? Let me guess: The poetry did the trick, right?\\
'''Mary Jane:''' ''(to Peter)'' [[LetMeGetThisStraight You told me you’d been reading poetry]]—because he suggested it?\\
'''Peter:''' He wasn’t nuts at the time. ''(to Otto)'' No offense, Doctor.\\

-->'''Doc Ock:''' [[BondOneLiner You have a train to catch.]] ''(Salutes Spider-Man)''

-->'''Driver:''' ''(deadpan)'' [[SarcasmMode Any more bright ideas?]]\\

''(Cut to Spider-Man with a [[DidntThinkThisThrough "What do I do now"]] look on his face)''

%%

'''Jameson:''' Get me a violin!\\

* The "[[ForHalloweenIAmGoingAsMyself Spider-Man]] [[UncomfortableElevatorMoment rides the elevator]]" scene. Both the original variant and the variant used in the extended cut.

** Peter tries to get some food from a tray, [[YankTheDogsChain but someone takes the last piece right as he is reaching for it]]. All he can do is just look at the caterer who walks away with the food without even glancing at Peter.
** Peter then notices two high society guests walk by and offers to take their pictures. They agree and pose for him, but he realises he hasn’t taken the cap off his camera’s flash. As he tries to take it off, someone calls the guests and they [[StealthHiBye walk away as Peter is readying his camera]]. Peter has a FlatWhat look on his face as the guests disappear, without him realising.

--->'''Jameson:''' Here, get a shot of my wife with the Minister here.\\

'''Jameson:''' Oh, now get a shot of us with the DA.\\

*** This gets a nice CallBack in the novelization when Octavius barges in on Peter and Mary Jane in the cafe.
---> '''Otto:''' Peter Parker. And the girlfriend. Took my advice, did you? Let me guess: The poetry did the trick, right?\\

'''Otto:''' [[SincerityMode The truth hurts, but I endure.]]

* The planetarium party has its share of slightly black comedy.

** In the last photo, Jameson has a nervous grin, his wife has an "Oh, no" expression, and the mayor is apologetically smiling at his unamused wife.

*** This gets a CallBack in the novelization when Octavius barges in on Peter and Mary Jane in the cafe.

* In the climactic scene, as Mary Jane discovers Peter is Spider-Man, a giant wall starts to fall on her. Peter [[LoadBearingHero catches it]], grins at her, and says "Hi!"

* At the planetarium party, Peter tries to get some food from a tray, [[YankTheDogsChain but someone takes the last piece right as he is reaching for it]]. All he can do is just look at the guy who walks away with the food without even looking at Peter.

** Jameson orders Peter around to take pictures of his wife with high profile guests.
--->'''Jameson:''' Take a shot of my wife with the Minister here.\\

'''Jameson:''' Now get a shot with the DA.\\

'''Jameson:''' Here get a shot of the Mayor and his girlfriend… ''(the mayor’s wife glares)'' [[VerbalBackspace wife]].
** After he finds out that MJ is dating John Jameson, he looks dejected and tries to [[HeartbreakAndIceCream eat some sweets]]. [[RunningGag Again, someone grabs the last piece right before he can reach it]]. This time Peter glares at the person offscreen.

*** The sheer idea of alien invaders ''robbing a store''. Spidey even lampshades it, saying "Aliens holding up a convenience store? This I have to see."

* On a meta level, serious fans of the WesternAnimation/JusticeLeague cartoon series will likely look at the train scene and go "[[TheCameo Do something]] [[Creator/PhilLaMarr Green Lantern]], you're standing right there!"

** A close up shot of Alfred Molina is shown as he growls menacingly. As the camera pulls away, he breaks character and starts singing "If I Were A Rich Man" from ''Theatre/FiddlerOnTheRoof'' (he was rehearsing for a Broadway production at the time). The puppeteers make the arms dance along with it. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTr-OkOkdy0 It has to be seen to be believed!]]

* Jameson's [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2YPD5gE8O-4 epic reaction]] to Peter's request to be paid in advance: he cackles -- [[OverlyLongGag for almost ten seconds straight]], during which he looks at Peter then goes back to cackling even harder before finally stopping with:

* Following getting fired from his pizza delivery job, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wiSW4Cig0aI Peter tries to sell some non-Spider Man photos to J. Jonah Jameson]]. Pretty much every single line Jameson has in the ensuing conversation is hilarious:

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PsAICWzMbwQ The "Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head" montage.]]

* "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdAzmLQm6f8 Dear, we agreed to put on a wedding, not go into bankruptcy.]] ''[beat]'' [[NoodleImplements Caviar?! What, are we inviting the Czar?! Get some cheese and crackers... some of those little cocktail weenies.]]"

** Gets a BrickJoke in the finale: [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0r-92_bnzk when Jameson realizes Mary Jane stood up his son at the altar]], the ''very first thing'' he says to his wife, with the utmost seriousness in his voice, is:

'''Jameson:''' ''[turns around]'' He was a...''[sees the Spider-Man suit is missing]'' '''[[AstonishinglyAppropriateInterruption A]] ''[[AstonishinglyAppropriateInterruption THIEF!]]''''' A CRIMINAL! He stole my suit! He's a menace to the entire city! I want that wall-crawling arachnid PROSECUTED! I want him STRUNG UP BY HIS WEB! ''[looks up at the skylight]'' '''''[[SkywardScream I WANT SPIDER-MAAANNN!!!!]]'''''
-->''[Spinning newspaper headline: "HE'S BACK!"]''

** After Doc Ock takes Aunt May hostage, she sees him bringing a blade out of his claws to impale Spider-Man. Her indignant "''Shame'' on you!" sounds more like a mother scolding her child for swearing than a civilian talking to a supervillain.
** After Spider-Man saves Aunt May from Octavius, leaves her on the street and swings away, several girls quickly crowd around her, screaming to Spider-Man: "Take me with you!"

** After he finds out that MJ is dating John Jameson, he looks dejected and tries to [[HeartbreakAndIceCream eat some sweet]]. [[RunningGag Again, someone grabs the last piece right before he can reach it]]. This time Peter glares at the person offscreen.

** As an added bonus, the alarm to the car that Peter fell on goes off as he walks away, [[DelayedReaction as opposed to immediately when he falls onto it]].

** When even Hoffman, dimwitted ass-kisser he is, [[DumbassHasAPoint points out that Spider-Man is the only one who could have stopped Dock Ock]], Jameson [[ICantBelieveImSayingThis has to agree with an exasperated "yes"]].

** When even Hoffman, dimwitted brown-nose he is, [[DumbassHasAPoint points out that Spider-Man is the only one who could have stopped Dock Ock]], Jameson [[ICantBelieveImSayingThis has to agree with an exasperated "yes"]].

** The extended cut adds the scene illustrating this page where [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqNU5-4Zmk8 JJJ dons the suit and does some mock web shooting]], while the rest of the ''Bugle'' crew look from between the blinders.

* During Peter and May's reunion, the heartwarming SoProudOfYou moment is immediately followed by Peter noticing his old comics aren't in any of her moving boxes.
-->'''Peter:''' Hey, where are all my comic books?\\
'''Aunt May:''' [[SelfDeprecation Oh, those dreadful things?]] I gave those away.\\
'''Peter:''' ... ''[thousand yard stare]''