Funny / Sophie's Choice

  • At the beginning of the book, Stingo works for McGraw-Hill where he has to review dreadful manuscripts and write blurbs for books that don't interest him at all. When he's supposed to write a blurb for a book about the history of the Kimberly-Clark corporation, he eventually gives up and writes this instead:
    Kimberly-Clark statistics are staggering to contemplate: —It is estimated that, during one winter month alone, if all the snot blown into Kleenex tissues in the United States and Canada were spread over the playing surface of the Yale Bowl, it would reach a depth of one-and-a-half feet... —It has been calculated that if the number of the vaginas employing Kotex during a single four day period in the U.S.A. were lined up orifice to orifice, there would be a snatch long enough to extend from Boston to White River Junction, Vt...
    • On the next day, his good-natured editor only says that “this isn’t quite what I think we had in mind".