Everything about Principal Gold.
- When he welcomes her to the school.
Gold: I'd like to say welcome. (singing) Welcome to, Illyria, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome... to Illyria! (speaking again) I just wanted to say 'welcome'!
Gold: Getting to know the opposite sex, are we? Male-female dynamics, all that. Sexual tension! It's all part of the high school experience. Continue, continue, please. But keep it cleaned up. Abstinence is key, abstinence is the best way to not is to not... (leaves)
- When Malcolm and Principal Gold overhear Viola:
Viola: Mom, I will pick out my own dress. And no, I will not wear high heels. Because heels are a male invention designed to make women's butts look smaller... and to make it harder for them to run away.
Principal Gold: Malcolm, have you ever tried to run away in high heels?
Malcolm: No, sir, I...
Principal Gold: Not that easy. Not that easy...