Drunk Max decides that he and Kyle are going to win Liz back when she goes off on a blind date. Kyle wonders how they're going to share.
"Every other week, month? Monday, Wednesday, Friday, alternate Saturdays?"
Sheriff Valenti chastising the kids when they skip school and take off to Vegas. After scaring everyone out by yelling and telling them he's going to call their parents, Michael and Tess are the only ones left and say how glad they are to be orphans. And then Valenti calls Tess, who freaks out and goes running.
From "I Married an Alien":
Jesse: Were you guys just talking about me?
Isabel: No, silly. The world doesn't revolve around you!