- "My nose! I look like Michael Jackson!"
- The father commenting on the President asking for another loan.
- Van Dough is having a Villainous Breakdown when he finds that the Rich Family Vault that he's been trying to break into the entire movie turns out to be filled with keepsakes of minimal monetary worth. He starts demanding where the money is, to which Mr. Rich responds in his best 'are-you-fucking-kidding-me' voice: "In banks! Where else?!"
- Van Dough manages to make it up the ladder on the Scaffolding in Mt. Richmore. He's about to shoot Richie (in the face where Richie is not protected by bulletproof 'armor'), only to find he is out of bullets. As if that wasn't bad enough as it was, Rich flashes him that classic Culkin smirk before kicking the ladder over with Van Dough on it.
- Cadbury had to steal the clothes from the guy who was sent to kill him. After escaping prison, he noticed an old woman looking at her in fear. He only told her a pleasant "Morning, madam", but she slowly ran off.
- When Richie decides to play with the other kids, Cadbury protests, "But they probably haven't even been vaccinated!
- Professor Keenbean trying to make an infomercial for his invention, which turns garbage into bowling balls instead of a bedpan, which he tried to program it to do.
"We take fifty pounds of yesterday's garbage, and transform it into a beautiful new bed--...bowling ball! Here's one! Twins! What family doesn't need a spare? Oh boy, here they come! Here they come!" (presses the off button) "Cut! Cut!" (accidentally drops a ball on his foot)
- Not to mention, "Hey, need a new bedpan? I know I do!" is a pretty funny line by itself.
- When Richie decides to put an end to Van Dough's Tyrant Takes the Helm, Van Dough tries to talk him out of it. However, Richie spends the talk making funny faces at him through a magnifying glass, ending with a magnified Culkin smirk.