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Changed line(s) 38 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Masquerade Illusionist:''' "My name is [[BigBad Valindra Shadowmantle]], and I have no sense of humor!"
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-->'''Masquerade Illusionist:''' "My name is [[BigBad Valindra Shadowmantle]], and I have no sense of humor!"humor!"
* The ''Acquisitions Incorporated'' campaign is chock-full of them. (But then, considering [[Webcomic/PennyArcade who wrote the campaign sourcebook]], some degree of humour is to be expected...)
** The first acquisition has you stealing an egg from a [[FeatheredFiend Deep Crow]] after tricking a fire giant into [[MuggingTheMonster challenging it to a duel]] (which he proceeds to [[CurbStompBattle lose]] [[NoHoldsBarredBeatdown horribly]]). Why? ''Because [[BadBoss Jim Darkmagic]] [[ExoticEntree wants eggs and bacon for breakfast]]''.
** The second has you going to visit Lakkar in Icespire Peak to get information on the whereabouts of the [[{{MacGuffin}} Heart of Fire]]. He'll only tell you about it [[ItMakesSenseInContext if you take a pickaxe and scratch his innermost nodules]].
** The third sends you off to Mantol-Derith to [[TheInfiltration infiltrate a Beholder convention]] with a [[PaperThinDisguise terrible disguise]] that the drow security immediately sees through. You're saved by a drunk Beholder and get the information you need, only for the disguise to fail at the last minute. Chaos ensues.
* The ''Acquisitions Incorporated'' campaign is chock-full of them. (But then, considering [[Webcomic/PennyArcade who wrote the campaign sourcebook]], some degree of humour is to be expected...)
** The first acquisition has you stealing an egg from a [[FeatheredFiend Deep Crow]] after tricking a fire giant into [[MuggingTheMonster challenging it to a duel]] (which he proceeds to [[CurbStompBattle lose]] [[NoHoldsBarredBeatdown horribly]]). Why? ''Because [[BadBoss Jim Darkmagic]] [[ExoticEntree wants eggs and bacon for breakfast]]''.
** The second has you going to visit Lakkar in Icespire Peak to get information on the whereabouts of the [[{{MacGuffin}} Heart of Fire]]. He'll only tell you about it [[ItMakesSenseInContext if you take a pickaxe and scratch his innermost nodules]].
** The third sends you off to Mantol-Derith to [[TheInfiltration infiltrate a Beholder convention]] with a [[PaperThinDisguise terrible disguise]] that the drow security immediately sees through. You're saved by a drunk Beholder and get the information you need, only for the disguise to fail at the last minute. Chaos ensues.
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Changed line(s) 9 (click to see context) from:
* Sigh* You know, I'm really just not into this.\\
to:
* Sigh* *Sigh* You know, I'm really just not into this.\\
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You seem a capable sort. How about I offer you a reward for helping me find a resting place?\\
-->'''(Take the Phylactery to First Resting Place) Zarifax:''' No, this won't do at all!\\
-->'''(Take the Phylactery to First Resting Place) Zarifax:''' No, this won't do at all!\\
to:
You seem a capable sort. How about I offer you a reward for helping me find a resting place?\\
-->'''(Takeplace?\\\
'''(Take the Phylactery to First Resting Place) Zarifax:''' No, this won't do at all!\\
-->'''(Take
'''(Take the Phylactery to First Resting Place) Zarifax:''' No, this won't do at all!\\
Changed line(s) 16,18 (click to see context) from:
Bah, I'm rambling. Let's try the next spot.\\
-->'''(Take the Phylactery to Second Resting Place) Zarifax:''' No, no, no! This location is even worse!\\
-->'''(Take the Phylactery to Second Resting Place) Zarifax:''' No, no, no! This location is even worse!\\
to:
Bah, I'm rambling. Let's try the next spot.\\
-->'''(Take\\\
'''(Take the Phylactery to Second Resting Place) Zarifax:''' No, no, no! This location is even worse!\\
-->'''(Take
'''(Take the Phylactery to Second Resting Place) Zarifax:''' No, no, no! This location is even worse!\\
Changed line(s) 21,23 (click to see context) from:
No, this location won't do either. Let's try another.\\
-->'''(Take the Phylactery to Third Resting Place) Zarifax:''' What have they done to this place!\\
-->'''(Take the Phylactery to Third Resting Place) Zarifax:''' What have they done to this place!\\
to:
No, this location won't do either. Let's try another.\\
-->'''(Take\\\
'''(Take the Phylactery to Third Resting Place) Zarifax:''' What have they done to this place!\\
-->'''(Take
'''(Take the Phylactery to Third Resting Place) Zarifax:''' What have they done to this place!\\
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Changed line(s) 8 (click to see context) from:
-->'''(Quest Start) Zarifax:''' Foolish Adventurer! You have picked up no mere bauble, but the phylactery of Zarifrax, all-powerful lich! Now, Prepare for a battle of wills for your very…\\
to:
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!Per wiki policy, Administrivia/SpoilersOff applies here and all spoilers are unmarked. Administrivia/YouHaveBeenWarned.
Changed line(s) 3,4 (click to see context) from:
* A Lich's Lament: You find the [[SoulJar phylactery]] of the ancient lich Zarifax, who makes motions to possess you...shortly before [[VillainsOutShopping he admits he was actually looking for someone to take him to a nice grave]], he having grown sick of unliving in a world where [[DontFearTheReaper Kelemvor]] is the death god. [[spoiler:By the end of it, he's grown so incensed with the quality of the graveyard that he [[DeathSeeker asks to be taken to a cleric to make sure the phylactery is good and gone]]. What makes it ''hilarious'' is that said cleric is amazed you were not possessed by said lich, and comes to believe that Zarifax is AxCrazy [[ObiWanMoment given how he's laughing as the cleric banishes his soul to the afterlife]].]]
** Actually, [[spoiler:the Cleric says they're going to lock up Zarifax's phylactery in a vault for a few hundred years. Yes, the group who the lich wanted to essentially SuicideByCop to is going to do ''exactly what he wanted you to do to help him out in the first place''.]]
** Actually, [[spoiler:the Cleric says they're going to lock up Zarifax's phylactery in a vault for a few hundred years. Yes, the group who the lich wanted to essentially SuicideByCop to is going to do ''exactly what he wanted you to do to help him out in the first place''.]]
to:
* A Lich's Lament: You find the [[SoulJar phylactery]] of the ancient lich Zarifax, who makes motions to possess you...shortly before [[VillainsOutShopping he admits he was actually looking for someone to take him to a nice grave]], he having grown sick of unliving in a world where [[DontFearTheReaper Kelemvor]] is the death god. [[spoiler:By By the end of it, he's grown so incensed with the quality of the graveyard that he [[DeathSeeker asks to be taken to a cleric to make sure the phylactery is good and gone]]. What makes it ''hilarious'' is that said cleric is amazed you were not possessed by said lich, and comes to believe that Zarifax is AxCrazy [[ObiWanMoment given how he's laughing as the cleric banishes his soul to the afterlife]].]]
afterlife]].
** Actually,[[spoiler:the the Cleric says they're going to lock up Zarifax's phylactery in a vault for a few hundred years. Yes, the group who the lich wanted to essentially SuicideByCop to is going to do ''exactly what he wanted you to do to help him out in the first place''.]]
** Actually,
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* In the Masquerade of Liars (the Halloween event), many Masquerade Illusionists walk around Protector's Enclave imitating (and mocking) various figures in the game.
-->'''Masquerade Illusionist:''' "My name is [[BigBad Valindra Shadowmantle]], and I have no sense of humor!"
-->'''Masquerade Illusionist:''' "My name is [[BigBad Valindra Shadowmantle]], and I have no sense of humor!"
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Changed line(s) 24 (click to see context) from:
[[RageQuit Take me to a Doomguide. Let them destroy me. I don't want to unlive on this planet anymore.]]
to:
[[RageQuit Take me to a Doomguide. Let them destroy me. ]] [[WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}} I don't want to unlive on this planet anymore.]]
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Not a (sic); that\'s perfectly acceptable American English.
Changed line(s) 8 (click to see context) from:
Let me be upfront(sic) with you: I'm tired of the epic battle of good against evil. I was controlling that undead you destroyed so I could find a nice quiet spot where my phylactery won't be disturbed for a few hundred years.\\
to:
Let me be upfront(sic) upfront with you: I'm tired of the epic battle of good against evil. I was controlling that undead you destroyed so I could find a nice quiet spot where my phylactery won't be disturbed for a few hundred years.\\
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The Protector\'s Speech
Changed line(s) 24 (click to see context) from:
[[RageQuit Take me to a Doomguide. Let them destroy me. I don't want to unlive on this planet anymore.]]
to:
[[RageQuit Take me to a Doomguide. Let them destroy me. I don't want to unlive on this planet anymore.]]]]
* The Protector's Speech event, Sword Coast Adventures minigame:
--> The Protector has started his yearly address to the people of Neverwinter. As a renowned hero of the city, all you have to do is stay awake. How hard can that be?
--> How long can this man keep talking? You'd swear you've been here all day, but it's only been minutes and he's just finished thanking everyone for being here.
--> The Protector's annual speech is almost halfway through. All you have to do is stay awake. Off to the side Sgt. Knox gives you a knowing nod. He's been through almost a dozen of these.
--> Time has lost all meaning as your mind floats in an infinite realm filled with nothing but the droning sound of the Protector's Voice. Sgt. Knox nudges you in the ribs. You're almost through this.
--> As Lord Neverember segues into describing the challenges ahead for the city, your realize The Protector's annual speech is nearly over, and you're still awake.
--> It's over! The Protector has stopped talking, and you're still standing. Sgt. Knox gives you a hearty slap on the back and says "Short speech this year."
* The Protector's Speech event, Sword Coast Adventures minigame:
--> The Protector has started his yearly address to the people of Neverwinter. As a renowned hero of the city, all you have to do is stay awake. How hard can that be?
--> How long can this man keep talking? You'd swear you've been here all day, but it's only been minutes and he's just finished thanking everyone for being here.
--> The Protector's annual speech is almost halfway through. All you have to do is stay awake. Off to the side Sgt. Knox gives you a knowing nod. He's been through almost a dozen of these.
--> Time has lost all meaning as your mind floats in an infinite realm filled with nothing but the droning sound of the Protector's Voice. Sgt. Knox nudges you in the ribs. You're almost through this.
--> As Lord Neverember segues into describing the challenges ahead for the city, your realize The Protector's annual speech is nearly over, and you're still awake.
--> It's over! The Protector has stopped talking, and you're still standing. Sgt. Knox gives you a hearty slap on the back and says "Short speech this year."
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Changed line(s) 24 (click to see context) from:
[[RageQuit Take me to a Doomguide. Let them destroy me. I don't want to unlive on this planet anymore.]]\
to:
[[RageQuit Take me to a Doomguide. Let them destroy me. I don't want to unlive on this planet anymore.]]\]]
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Changed line(s) 3 (click to see context) from:
* A Lich's Lament: You find the [[SoulJar phylactery]] of the ancient lich Zarifax, who makes motions to possess you...shortly before [[VillainsOutShopping he admits he was actually looking for someone to take him to a nice grave]], he having grown sick of unliving in a world where [[DontFearTheReaper Kelemvor]] is the death god. [[spoiler:By the end of it, he's grown so incensed with the quality of the graveyard that he [[DeathSeeker asks to be taken to a cleric to make sure the phylactery is good and gone]]. What makes it ''hilarious'' is that said cleric is amazed you were not possessed by said lich, and comes to believe that Zarifax is AxCrazy [[ObiWanMoment given how he's laughing as the cleric banishes his soul to the afterlife]].]]
to:
* A Lich's Lament: You find the [[SoulJar phylactery]] of the ancient lich Zarifax, who makes motions to possess you...shortly before [[VillainsOutShopping he admits he was actually looking for someone to take him to a nice grave]], he having grown sick of unliving in a world where [[DontFearTheReaper Kelemvor]] is the death god. [[spoiler:By the end of it, he's grown so incensed with the quality of the graveyard that he [[DeathSeeker asks to be taken to a cleric to make sure the phylactery is good and gone]]. What makes it ''hilarious'' is that said cleric is amazed you were not possessed by said lich, and comes to believe that Zarifax is AxCrazy [[ObiWanMoment given how he's laughing as the cleric banishes his soul to the afterlife]].]]]]
** Actually, [[spoiler:the Cleric says they're going to lock up Zarifax's phylactery in a vault for a few hundred years. Yes, the group who the lich wanted to essentially SuicideByCop to is going to do ''exactly what he wanted you to do to help him out in the first place''.]]
** What makes that whole quest hilarious is the voice acting when you first activate it. And his increasingly incensed comments for each area you go to.
-->'''(Quest Start) Zarifax:''' Foolish Adventurer! You have picked up no mere bauble, but the phylactery of Zarifrax, all-powerful lich! Now, Prepare for a battle of wills for your very…\\
*Sigh* You know, I'm really just not into this.\\
Let me be upfront(sic) with you: I'm tired of the epic battle of good against evil. I was controlling that undead you destroyed so I could find a nice quiet spot where my phylactery won't be disturbed for a few hundred years.\\
You seem a capable sort. How about I offer you a reward for helping me find a resting place?\\
-->'''(Take the Phylactery to First Resting Place) Zarifax:''' No, this won't do at all!\\
The Doomguides have been here. I can still feel the smug sanctimoniousness of their rituals radiating from the very stone.\\
How did we end up with Undead-hating Kelemvor as a god of death anyway? I, for one, blame Cyric. Now Jergal, there was a god of death! Of course, Bhaal and Myrkul had their qualities, too.\\
Bah, I'm rambling. Let's try the next spot.\\
-->'''(Take the Phylactery to Second Resting Place) Zarifax:''' No, no, no! This location is even worse!\\
The Thayans would surely find my phylactery here. Then I'd either have to tutor some young power-mad necromancer, or become a lackey for Szass Tam, or end up trying to "reason" with Valindra Shadowmantle.\\
Now, don't get me wrong. I respect Valindra's dedication to evil, but that woman is simply not right in the head.\\
No, this location won't do either. Let's try another.\\
-->'''(Take the Phylactery to Third Resting Place) Zarifax:''' What have they done to this place!\\
This would have been a perfect location. Commanding view, lovely stonework, and now look at it! Ruined! I bet this was done by some greedy adventurer looking for a few measly gold pieces or a paltry magic sword. I tell you, there's just no respect anymore.\\
That does it! I've been searching for the perfect spot for a decade, and apparently there's no quiet place left on all Faerûn. Well, this is it. I'm done!\\
[[RageQuit Take me to a Doomguide. Let them destroy me. I don't want to unlive on this planet anymore.]]\
** Actually, [[spoiler:the Cleric says they're going to lock up Zarifax's phylactery in a vault for a few hundred years. Yes, the group who the lich wanted to essentially SuicideByCop to is going to do ''exactly what he wanted you to do to help him out in the first place''.]]
** What makes that whole quest hilarious is the voice acting when you first activate it. And his increasingly incensed comments for each area you go to.
-->'''(Quest Start) Zarifax:''' Foolish Adventurer! You have picked up no mere bauble, but the phylactery of Zarifrax, all-powerful lich! Now, Prepare for a battle of wills for your very…\\
*Sigh* You know, I'm really just not into this.\\
Let me be upfront(sic) with you: I'm tired of the epic battle of good against evil. I was controlling that undead you destroyed so I could find a nice quiet spot where my phylactery won't be disturbed for a few hundred years.\\
You seem a capable sort. How about I offer you a reward for helping me find a resting place?\\
-->'''(Take the Phylactery to First Resting Place) Zarifax:''' No, this won't do at all!\\
The Doomguides have been here. I can still feel the smug sanctimoniousness of their rituals radiating from the very stone.\\
How did we end up with Undead-hating Kelemvor as a god of death anyway? I, for one, blame Cyric. Now Jergal, there was a god of death! Of course, Bhaal and Myrkul had their qualities, too.\\
Bah, I'm rambling. Let's try the next spot.\\
-->'''(Take the Phylactery to Second Resting Place) Zarifax:''' No, no, no! This location is even worse!\\
The Thayans would surely find my phylactery here. Then I'd either have to tutor some young power-mad necromancer, or become a lackey for Szass Tam, or end up trying to "reason" with Valindra Shadowmantle.\\
Now, don't get me wrong. I respect Valindra's dedication to evil, but that woman is simply not right in the head.\\
No, this location won't do either. Let's try another.\\
-->'''(Take the Phylactery to Third Resting Place) Zarifax:''' What have they done to this place!\\
This would have been a perfect location. Commanding view, lovely stonework, and now look at it! Ruined! I bet this was done by some greedy adventurer looking for a few measly gold pieces or a paltry magic sword. I tell you, there's just no respect anymore.\\
That does it! I've been searching for the perfect spot for a decade, and apparently there's no quiet place left on all Faerûn. Well, this is it. I'm done!\\
[[RageQuit Take me to a Doomguide. Let them destroy me. I don't want to unlive on this planet anymore.]]\
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Changed line(s) 3 (click to see context) from:
* A Lich's Lament: You find the [[SoulJar phylactery]] of Zarifax, who makes motions to possess you...shortly before [[VillainsOutShopping he admits he was actually looking for someone to take him to a nice grave]], he having grown sick of living in a world where [[DontFearTheReaper Kelemvor]] is the death god. [[spoiler:By the end of it, he's grown so incensed with the quality of the graveyard that he [[DeathSeeker asks to be taken to a cleric to make sure the phylactery is good and gone]].]]
to:
* A Lich's Lament: You find the [[SoulJar phylactery]] of the ancient lich Zarifax, who makes motions to possess you...shortly before [[VillainsOutShopping he admits he was actually looking for someone to take him to a nice grave]], he having grown sick of living unliving in a world where [[DontFearTheReaper Kelemvor]] is the death god. [[spoiler:By the end of it, he's grown so incensed with the quality of the graveyard that he [[DeathSeeker asks to be taken to a cleric to make sure the phylactery is good and gone]]. What makes it ''hilarious'' is that said cleric is amazed you were not possessed by said lich, and comes to believe that Zarifax is AxCrazy [[ObiWanMoment given how he's laughing as the cleric banishes his soul to the afterlife]].]]
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Changed line(s) 2 (click to see context) from:
-->"The ghost is inconsolable. You may never know what has it so depressed... beyond being dead, of course."
to:
-->"The ghost is inconsolable. You may never know what has it so depressed... beyond being dead, of course.""
* A Lich's Lament: You find the [[SoulJar phylactery]] of Zarifax, who makes motions to possess you...shortly before [[VillainsOutShopping he admits he was actually looking for someone to take him to a nice grave]], he having grown sick of living in a world where [[DontFearTheReaper Kelemvor]] is the death god. [[spoiler:By the end of it, he's grown so incensed with the quality of the graveyard that he [[DeathSeeker asks to be taken to a cleric to make sure the phylactery is good and gone]].]]
* A Lich's Lament: You find the [[SoulJar phylactery]] of Zarifax, who makes motions to possess you...shortly before [[VillainsOutShopping he admits he was actually looking for someone to take him to a nice grave]], he having grown sick of living in a world where [[DontFearTheReaper Kelemvor]] is the death god. [[spoiler:By the end of it, he's grown so incensed with the quality of the graveyard that he [[DeathSeeker asks to be taken to a cleric to make sure the phylactery is good and gone]].]]
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Changed line(s) 2 (click to see context) from:
-->"The ghost in inconsolable. You may never know what has it so depressed... beyond being dead, of course."
to:
-->"The ghost in is inconsolable. You may never know what has it so depressed... beyond being dead, of course."
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Added DiffLines:
*One of the encounters in Sword Coast Adventures is a crying ghost, if you beat it you get the message:
-->"The ghost in inconsolable. You may never know what has it so depressed... beyond being dead, of course."
-->"The ghost in inconsolable. You may never know what has it so depressed... beyond being dead, of course."
