- Thanks to commentator Tim Kitzrow, the 2010-11 version in particular gets some laughs:
- "Drops it through the pantyhose for tw—I mean, drops it through the nylon for two!"
- "How many balls could a ballchucker chuck if a ballchucker could chuck balls?" [beat] "Who knows?"
- "Uncool, dude, you shot-blocked me!"
- "All that shake 'n' bake, and no dinner!"
- "It takes skill to miss 10 in a row..."
- "Just like my wife's top drawer, all nylon!"
- "I got my degree from Dunkin-on U"
- "Somebody get the baking soda!...Or is it baking powder - I can't remember! What do you throw on someone who's on fire?!"
- "Since when is a goaltending call made by a 'wah-wah' noise? Where's the ref?!" [beat] "What? We have no ref in this game? That's great. Real professional."
- Shoot a prayer from half-court and it won't go unnoticed:
- "From Section C, Row 5, Seat 7!"
- "From the Waffle House located just off the beltway!"
- "Nice shot, I'm sure that's exactly what the coach drew up."
- "From your mother-in-law's house!"
- "And the fan tries to win the car!"
- Air-balling in particular will garner some stingers:
- "That's an air-ball. And your fly's open too. And you have something hanging outta your nose."
- "NOT EVEN CLOSE!"
- "NOTHING BUT NOTHING!"
- "Dear Rim, I miss you. Hope to see you soon. Love, Chuck."
- "Did the basket move?"
- "This guy needs a seeing-eye dog!"
- Beware the Kitzrow on a blocked shot:
- "The doctor just made him turn his head and cough!"
- "My favorite time of year, Blocktoberfest!"
- "WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT SHOOTING IN HERE, DO IT OUTSIDE!"
- "Like my wife always says, NOT TONIGHT!"
- "No hoop for you!"
- "Pants on the ground! Pants on the ground! Lookin' like a fool with your pants on the ground!"
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