Funny / Moonstruck

  • Pretty much anything involving Loretta's grandfather, especially this moment where he has a tissue over his eyes;
    Cosmo: What's wrong, pop?
    Grandpa: I'm confused.
    • Or Rose's warning to Grandpa.
      Rose: Old man, you feed those dogs another piece of my food, I'm gonna kick you til you're dead!
    • "Someone, tell a joke!"
  • When Johnny breaks off the engagement with Loretta after his mother suddenly recovers when she finds out he's getting married.
    Johnny: In time, you will see this is the best thing.
    Loretta: In time, you'll drop dead, and I'll come to your funeral in a red dress!
    • And after Loretta throws Johnny's pinky ring at him, causing him to crawl on the floor to look for it:
    Ronny: Loretta, will you marry me?
    Johnny: (suddenly popping up) WHAT?!
    • Every single line of Johnny's proposal is hilarious.
  • This exchange between Loretta and a One-Scene Wonder old woman.
    Old Woman: You have someone on that plane?
    Loretta: Yeah, my fiancé.
    Old Woman: (angry) I put a curse on that plane. My sister is on that plane. I put a curse on that plane that it's gonna explode, burn on fire and fall into the sea. Fifty years ago, she stole a man from me. S'aprese il mio uomo! Today she tells me that she never loved him, that she took him to be strong on me. Now she's going back to Sicily. Ritorna in Sicilia! I cursed her that the green Atlantic water should swallow her up!
    Loretta: I don't believe in curses.
    Old Woman: (shrugging) Eh, neither do I.
  • Loretta failing to bury her sleeping with her fiance's brother between two other "sins" at confession. "What was that second thing you said, Loretta?"
  • Loretta somehow not knowing the plot of La Bohème, amazed that the main character died.
    Ronny: She had T.B.
    Loretta: I know! I mean, she was coughing her brains out, and still she had to keep singing!
  • Three words: SNAP OUTTA IT!!