Funny / Looking for Alaska

  • The basketball games: "I. Am. Concussed."
  • "I've just done some calculations, and I've been able to determine you're full of shit."
  • Pudge's first kiss:
    We were kissing.
    I thought: This is good.
    I thought: I am not bad at this kissing. Not bad at all.
    I thought: I am clearly the greatest kisser in the history of the universe.
    Suddenly she laughed and pulled away from me. She wiggled a hand out of her sleeping bag and wiped her face. "You slobbered on my nose," she said, and laughed”
  • Lara and Pudge attempting to have oral sex, which resulted in Alaska having to teach them what to do with a toothpaste tube.
  • The hip-hop stylings of MC Alaska Young:
    “Oh shit did you just dis the feminine gender
    I'll pummel your ass then stick you in a blender
    You think I like Tori and Ani so I can't rhyme
    But I got flow like Ghostbusters got slime
    Objectify women and it's fuckin' on
    You'll be dead and gone like ancient Babylon.”
  • The Speaker Day guest lecturer Dr. William Morse, professor of psychology at the University of Central Florida. Also known to his friends as Maxx the stripper.
    Lara: You are so hot! I weesh you'd shut up and take off all your clothes!