Funny / Jack Irish

• Barry, a heavyset police officer, chats with Jack in his car whilst scoffing down chips and soft drink. After experiencing bouts of heartburn, Jack stares at him.
  Jack: Have you read much about the Pritikin diet?
  Barry: Go fuck yourself!
• Jack introduces himself to Linda.
  Jack: I don’t practice law much anymore.
  Linda: What do you do?
  Jack: Oh. I live off my wits. Gamble. Drink.
  Linda: Then you’ll be keeping pretty much the same company.
  Jack: Oh no, it’s definitely a notch up since then.
• Brendan thanks Jack for helping his case by gifting him with a kidney in a jar. Presumably someone else’s kidney.
  Jack: You know, a bottle of port would have done the trick.
• Jack and Barry watch a bowls tournament.
  Barry: It’s hard to know if it’s the bowls colliding, or their hips cracking.
  Jack: I find it hard to know why Carol left you, Barry.
• At said game, Barry eats a sweet bun. Naturally, Jack is intrigued.
  Jack: Where you’d get that bun anyway?
  Barry: The clubhouse.
  Jack: You realise that is their morning tea, don’t you?
  Barry: Police presence at a… major sporting event… comes at a price, Jack.
• This little titbit summarising Jack and Simone:
  Jack: Do you always talk this fast?
  Simone: Do you always listen this slow?
• Stan mentions to Jack that a bloke from Brisbane wants to buy the Fitzroy pictures from the pub. The patrons at the pub are naturally calm about this.
  Eric: Fitzroy Football Club is in Fitz-bloody-roy!
• Stan has decided to reinvent the Prince of Prussia to compete with its main competitors by serving breakfast foods and coffees, to the bemusement of Jack and the boys.
• Drew offers his opinion on why Jack can’t move on from Isabel:
  Drew: Trouble is, you have a romanticised view, Jack. You and Isabel never got past the honeymoon phase. You never made it to the domestic dead zone. Being told how to stack the dishwasher, fishing clumps of her hair out of the shower drain, varicose veins, toenail clippings. I mean, you don’t know how lucky you are.
  Jack: Have you ever considered a career in grief counselling?
• Jack calls into Linda’s radio station, sporting a stereotypical accent and giving incorrect information, just to mess with her.