- "Get tough with that guy." "Now get tough with the other guy." "Now get tough with both of them."
- The speakeasy/password scene.
- The anatomy class.
- The football game.
- Especially Chico calling the plays. "Hey-diddle-diddle, de cat an' de fiddle, dis time I think we go down the middle!"
- "I'm Against It"
- "Was that you or the duck? 'Cuz if that was you, I'm finishing this ride with the duck."
- Groucho's rendition of "Everyone Says I Love You". "Everyone says I love you, but just what they say it for I never knew. It's just invitin' trouble for the poor sucker who says I love you."
Professor Wagstaff: Young man, you'll find as you get older, you can't burn the candle at both ends.
(Harpo pulls a candle burning at both ends from out of his coat)
Professor Wagstaff: (nonplussed, for Groucho) Well, I knew you couldn't burn something at both ends. I thought it was a candle.
- And this:
Zeppo: [congratulating Groucho on his speech] I'm proud to be your son.Groucho: You took the words right out of my mouth; I'm ashamed to be your father.
- Groucho looks at a picture of the back end of a horse: "That reminds me, I haven't seen my son all day!"
- "You're a disgrace to our family name of Wagstaff, if such a thing is possible."
- "Why don't you go home to your wife? I'll tell you what: I'll go home to your wife. Outside of the improvement, she'll never know the difference."