Funny / Goon

Film Goon

  • Doug’s first practice with the Assassins. Doug awkwardly hobbles onto the ice (he hasn’t learned to skate yet), only to have one of his new teammates get in his face and suggest that he’s retarded. After nervously trying and failing miserably to formulate a witty reply, Doug announces, “Fuck it!” and knocks the guy out. Then he proceeds to absolutely destroy the rest of the team when they all attack him at once.
    • Followed by the coach’s response:
    ”Hey, kid! Those are your own teammates you just fucked up out there!’’Beat’’ Of course, on the bright side, those are your own teammates you just fucked up out there.”
  • The Russian brothers and Belchior are funny incarnate. Especially when they spar against each other.
  • "My stomach light.....needs your stomach light. We can all phone home together."
  • "No glory holes here tonight boys!"
  • After an amazing fight, a victory montage as Laflamme leads the Highlanders to victory, invigorated by Doug's thrashing of Rhea, and a clear victory for Doug over Rhea, the last shot is of Doug, beaten to a pulp, sitting in the locker room with Eva, looking smugly satisfied with himself, then a beat, then "I think I nailed him." Yeah, Doug. Yeah you did.

TV series Go On
  • Ryan tries to seem young by mentioning Twilight. Literally. He just keeps on shouting "Twilight!" at people who call him old.
  • Mr.K playing Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap after saying he'd get revenge for Ryan and after getting said revenge. It's funnier when he stumbles on a car behind him while playing the song, though.
    • The revenge deserves notice as well. He glove slaps Steven twice, then reveals that he flipped his car upside down. And later poured superglue all over Carrie's keyboard. Then he tries to earn forgiveness by giving Steven a rare African Grey Parrot. It's a pigeon.
    • And then subsequently opening up to Steven of all people and forming something of a friendship, K, Steven, and Terrell Owens decide to teach Ryan a listen for taking them for granted. Cue Ryan's car flipped over on it's hood and Owens sprinting down the street in a panic as Ryan gives chase.
  • "I've seen Mary Poppins over 500 times. Not by choice; I have a condition called Supercalifragialisticexpialadocia."
  • Lauren wants the group to write anonymous reports on how she's doing, but they point out that she'll be able to tell who wrote them because of the handwriting and Fausta's broken English. So she tells them to type them all and use Spanglish.
    • Becomes even funnier when you discover that they went along with it.
    Lauren: Someone gave me a 2 for listening and they referenced it in the anonymous essay section: 'Is loving, is smart, but is sometimes not hear my problem.'
    Anne: Sweetie, I gave you all fives and wrote 'is always very helps.'
  • When Ryan begins gambling again thanks to playing bingo with Fausta.
    Ryan: I learned a very important lesson from Fausta today' everything is better with gambling.
    Fausta: I think you got the wrong message; everything better with alcohol.
    • After Ryan resumes his gambling addiction, Lauren decides to help him get over it by completely curbstomping him at blackjack.
    Lauren: Buckle up dirtbags, I'm gonna take your money and call you lady names! You got a problem with that, Mary?
    Ryan: Leave the cigar in your bag.
    Lauren: Nope.
  • In the Thanksgiving Episode, Anne is horrified to learn what her son does when he's alone in his room at night: listen to Ryan's podcast. She remarks it's so much worse than what she thought it would be.