On one episode, Sean and Jon are asked to play a game in which each is presented with a box, one of which has a carrot in it. Sean is meant to look in his box and then try to bluff Jon into taking the box without the carrot - he instead just says "Oh - I - I'll keep this". So begins several minutes of the game seeming to fall apart as Sean laughs about having a carrot in his box and everyone present ridicules the entire exercise for being stupid. Then Jon swaps boxes and...
Jon: ...There's no fucking carrot in it.
Sean and Jon have a rematch on ...Does Countdown. You would think Jon, now knowing what he's up against, would be able to hold his own. You'd be wrong.
Jon plays a third round with Lee Mack after Sean Lock's passing. Guess who wins.
While the panelists are discussing whether children get too much praise, Sean Lock describes a game he claims he played with his father called "Spine in a Sack" to the increasingly confused panelists. Sean's dad would take a roadkilled animal, remove the spine, put it in a sack, then bounce it on his kids' heads and ask them to identify what animal it came from. Sean manages to keep a straight face throughout the joke until Louise Redknapp genuinely asks him if Spine in a Sack was a real game and he immediately corpses.
8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown
Season 4 Episode 6: Joe Wilkinson 'films' a scene of The Only Way Is Essex with Lauren Goodger. It involves Joe breaking up with Lauren and Lauren breaking about a dozen chairs on his back.
Series 16 Episode 2: The panelists are asked to present poems, and Joe Wilkinson's poem "Hanging About in a Train Station Toilet Naming People's Penises" absolutely destroys the entire panel...including Joe, who can barely even get his own poem out.
Joe: Hello, commuter on your way to work I'm going to call yours Captain Birdseye Because it looks like it's wearing a polo neck and winking at me
Series 16 Episode 5: Jimmy improvises a "Susie Dent's a slut" joke that takes everyone by surprise and leaves the entire studio crying laughing.
Jimmy: Susie, what have you been looking into recently?...other than glory holes?
Nearly everything out of Sean Lock's mouth. Highlights include the entirety of his children's book, The Tiger Who Came for a Pint.
There was once a tiger who fancied a pint. Not Carling, of course, that was too weak and too gassy. He wanted a pint that packs a punch - like Stella, or Kronenbourg.
When Rachel claims she wears a beard and Viking helmet to go skiing and avoid being recognized:
Sean: That's a challenging wank.
Sean's responses to Jimmy Carr's opening questions are all gold.
Jimmy: If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
Sean: Well, obviously, the front.
Jimmy's question about what extinct thing Sean would bring back:
Sean: I'd like to bring back all the leaders of the Nazi party. All the top Nazis -
Jimmy: We'll just leave it there. Sean Lock, everyone, that's the end of his career!
When Jimmy decides to hear him out, Sean's explanation easily Crosses the Line Twice: he wants to bring the Nazis back and put them on a tropical island with no supplies, then film them fending for themselves on a show called Nazi Island.
Sean: Oooh, Goebbels hasn't caught any fish today. Hitler's very hungry!
Adam Buxton's handful of appearances always leave the panel laughing their asses off, especially when he delivers his "Commentary Corner/Commentar Y Corner/Commentry Corner!" bit where he reads real YouTube comments.
In a segment of comments on Countdown clips, we get the lovely usernames "Retro Lenzil 64" (the 64th of the noble Retro Lenzil family), "porlballbag", and "turtlejizziz" (the answer to the question "what is the slowest kind of jizz?").
The final comment, about Rachel? "I would drag my balls through ten miles of broken glass just to hear her fart through a walkie talkie". Adam puts the icing on this bit by offering Rachel a walkie talkie.
Another segment reviewing comments about 3D printers gets a commenter asking "Can this print out hummens". Adam runs with it.
Adam: Yes, that's the big question, isn't it? Can this 3D printing technology actually enable you to print out a...hummen bening?
That comment was left by a "Kevin Kuka", which Adam questions whether it's a gas or an electric kuka.
In a later episode, Jimmy asks Greg to do it again before bringing out the real Chris Eubank, causing Greg to hide under the desk in terror. Chris proves to be an excellent sport.
Chris: It's wonderful! The fact that he cannot hold a straight face - it's fantastic, it works!
In one Countdown episode from 2021 the Dictionary Corner guests took headlines from two fishing magazines to make an innuendo-laden song.
