Funny / Dr Glaucomflecken

• "How To Ace Your Ophthalmology Residency Interview" (by an ophthalmologist):
  Resident: So why do you want to be an ophthalmologist?
  Candidate: Well, I'm a huge nerd and I don't think eyeballs are gross.
• In "The Ophthalmologist Needs Cardiac Clearance"
  Cardiology: Not every patient needs a cardiology visit prior to cataract surgery.
  Ophthalmology: I know, only patients with a heart.
• In "The Orthopedic Surgeon Goes to Therapy" after Ortho mentions being nervous around medicine doctors.
  Psychiatry: Look, no stethoscope. I'm not going to hand you an EKG.
  Ortho: [blank stare]
  Psychiatry: EKG. Electrocardiogram.
  Ortho: [blank stare]
  Psychiatry: Danger squiggles.
  Ortho: Oh, good.
• In "Neurology and Neurosurgery go to Therapy":
  Psychiatry: Now, I brought you two here together to discuss your professional relationship.
  Neurosurgery: Our what?
  Psychiatry: Your relationship.
  Neurosurgery: [affectless stare]
  Psychiatry: The way in which two people form a connection with each other.
  Neurosurgery: [affectless stare]
  Psychiatry: You know what, never mind.
• Neurology's reaction to seeing the new neurologist in "The Neurologist Has Competition."
  New neurologist: Good morning.
  Neurology: (dramatic gasp) What are you?
• Pediatrics' costume is a unicorn headband, and Emergency Medicine's costume is a bike helmet, sunglasses, and a cycling suit, so naturally, Pediatric Emergency Medicine's costume is a cycling suit, sunglasses, and a unicorn bike helmet with a little horn on it.
• Neurology's costume is a Phi Beta Kappa tie, large glasses, and styled hair, and Pediatric Neurology's costume is the same except that he has a unicorn headband, and his tie is a Dr. Seuss bow tie.
• In "The Med Student Goes to Therapy," we learn that the Neurologist reacted to not matching the first time around by going to the match headquarters and demanding to give the director a mental status exam.
• In "Bill Goes To Therapy", Bill complains about having to carry around six pagers at once:
  Bill: I also have nightmares where I'm Batman, but my utility belt is full of pagers, so instead of fighting crime, all I can do is put in diet orders.
• In "Hot Tub Bacteria Soup," when the man bathing in a hot tub mentions that he's wearing contact lenses, Ophthalmology suddenly appears:
  Ophthalmology: Jonathan! Extract this man from the source of contamination and remove his contacts!
  Jonathan: [nods]
  Bather: What? [grabbed by Jonathan]
• In "How to Get an MRI," a doctor is explaining to an insurance rep that an X-ray would not be suitable for imaging the brain. While explaining this, he says, "An X-ray is for bones," which prompts a nearby orthopedic surgeon to wake up and look around excitedly.
• In "The Annual Faculty Easter Egg Hunt," the hospital administrator announces that Dermatology found the most expensive egg. Dermatology is then shown holding a sparkly gold egg and lovingly putting sunscreen on it.
• The transformation is too far gone for the anaesthesiologists lost to the Emergency Department, one of whom tells Anaesthesiology to save himself.
  Emergency Anaesthesia: Tell my wife and kids... [dons sports glasses]... I'm going BASE jumping.
• "How to Ace Your Cardiology Interview"
  Program Director: What would make you a good cardiologist?
  Applicant: Well, I have the ego of a surgeon but the intelligence of a non-surgeon.
• In "How to Order IV Fluids" after Nephrology finds Ortho ordering IV fluids for a patient:
  Nephrology: Ortho, do you know what happens when you administer large volumes of isotonic saline?
  Ortho: You know I don't, bro.
  Nephrology: Hyperchloremic metabolic acidosis.
  Ortho: [blank stare]
  Nephrology: Excessive rise in plasma chloride and renal bicarb elimination resulting in a reduced anion gap?
  Ortho: [blank stare]
  Nephrology: It makes the kidneys sad!
  Ortho: Oh man, I'm sorry, bro. I didn't mean to hurt your little bean buddies.
• In How To Ace Your Neurology Residency Interview, the final part of a neurology residency interview requires the applicant to roast the program director.