Funny / Don't Rest Your Head

• From the Fuck ability story:
  I was just blowing smoke with my friends the other night when I said I'd "fuck the fucking shit out of that hot ass chicklet... Worst. Literal. Sex. Ever"

  If you said, "These jeans make my ass look fucking hot," then expect to have it stared at, slapped, and quite possibly asked out on a date (don't worry, the rest of you gets to join in). Then again your ass could literally explode into flame.

  Tell someone 'you fucking want me', and they'll go to bed with you (even though you'd be a total fucking shitbag for using a supernatural whammy to get laid).

• The Innards ability, which allows you to eat anything and then excrete anything else has some funny moments too:
  High ranks of the ability allow you to make "vegan cheese that tastes and melts like real mozzarella (though considering where it came from, who- besides you- is going to eat such miraculous ass-cheese vegan or otherwise?)..."

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