Funny: David Gemmell
- In 'Hero in the Shadows' Yu Yu the Chiatze Ditch Digger seduces a maid in Waylander's palace. He is then confronted by some guardsmen who call him a slant-eyed pig and ask him why he feels he can steal their women. Yu Yu muddles up the translation and thinks he's being accused of stealing a woman's one-eyed pig.
- From Swords of Night and Day:
Stavut: Why am I taking seduction advice from a man who's idea of foreplay is to slam some coins on the table and ask 'Who wants to ride the big horse?
- Viruk The Avatar is a walking one of these, well when he's not murdering people
- This Exchange between Rek and Bowman:
Rek: What will you do now?
Bowman: I think I will become a monk and devote my entire life to prayer and good works.
Rek: No. I mean, what will you do today?
Bowman: Ah! Today I'll get drunk and go whoring
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