Funny / Crash

• "You stupid cow, I am speaking English!"
• Hansen's "reason" for wanting to be reassigned: Flatulent problems.
• Waters and Ria are having sex when the phone rings. It's Waters' mother, but he doesn't want to talk to her at the moment and tells her: "Mom, I can't talk. I'm having sex with a white woman".
  • Afterwards, Ria pushes Waters out of the bed.
• The argument between Ria and Kim Lee at the beginning. Both hurling racist insults at one another.
• Anthony's over-the-top rants, according to which Everything Is Racist, from buses to hip-hop.
• After Rick, LA's District Attorney, is carjacked, he's seen at home working with his PR team to try and make this story less volatile for his career.
  Rick: Alright, if we can't squash this thing, we gotta find a way to neutralize it. What we need is a picture of me pinning a medal on a black guy. Any ideas?... Oh, that guy, the fireman, saved the camp, what was his name?
  Mark: Uh, he's not black. He's Iraqi.
  Rick: Iraqi?... But he looks black?
  Mark: He's Iraqi, and dark -skinned. His name's Saddam Kajum.
  Rick: Oh, that- That's really great, Mark! We're gonna get a photo of me pinning a medal on an Iraqi named Saddam! Give yourself a raise, will ya!
• When Anthony and Peter are cruising LA in the luxury SUV they just stole, Anthony goes on yet another rant about the Hip Hop music on the radio, before Peter switches to Country, and Anthony gets set off even more while Peter makes up fake racist lyrics to egg him on.
  Anthony: [Regarding the rap music] Listen to this shit, man! "Nigga this! nigga That!" It ain't like white people go around calling each other "honkeys" all day! "Hey, honkey, how ya been?" "Oh, going great, cracker! We're diversifying!"
  Peter: [Switches to Country music] How about this? Guy singing about lynching niggas!
  Anthony: You really think that shit's any better?!
  Peter: [Singing] "Oh, I'm gonna go and lynch me a nigga!- I'd shoot 'em dead first, but I done broke my trigger!..."
  • And while this is happening, neither notices that they're heading right for an old Chinese man in front a van, and end up ramming him and he ends up stuck under their truck. And when they end up arguing about what to do, Anthony suggests just driving off... While the guy's still stuck to the truck.
    Anthony: I tell ya what we gonna do, we gonna just drive off.
    Peter: "Drive off!?"
    Anthony: Yeah, cuz when we drive off, he gonna let go-
    Peter: He's not gonna let go, Anthony! Know why? Cuz he's stuck underneath the fucking truck! If he wanted to let go, I think he would've considered that option about a half a block back!
• This exchange between Anthony and Peter.
  Anthony: You don't like hockey! You just say you do to piss me off!
  Peter: (shrugs) I love hockey.
• Anthony and Peter try to carjack Cameron. Only Cameron's not having it, and speeds away with Anthony in the passenger seat pointing a gun at his head.
  Anthony: Get the fuck outta the car!
  Cameron: This is my fuckin' car!
  Anthony: (waves gun at him) It's my fuckin' gun!
  Cameron: (yanks the gun out of Anthony's hand) My gun now!
  Anthony: Hey man, gimme my fuckin' gun!

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