Funny: Chopped

  • When one of the contestants who has, in the course of his two episodes on the show, grated on everybody's nerves, started calling out the ingredients.
    Ted (flatly): Chris, let me do that.
  • Upon seeing graham crackers in the basket for the appetizer round, one contestant exclaimed, "The crackers kill my life!"
  • While explaining a dessert made when tofu was in the basket:
    Contestant: I used to make a similar dessert when I worked at vegan dinning facility.
    Marc Murphy: Is this health food?
    Contestant: It's not bad for you...
    Ted: Don't tell him that! Tell him there's a stick of butter in it!
    • And it turned out that there actually was a stick of butter in the recipe! (The contestant has added it to soften up the Mexican chocolate that was in the basket).
  • In the second judges' episode, one of the shelves in the fridge breaks, causing things to fall all over the floor. Chris Santos remarks that he "broke the pantry".
    • And when he flat-out runs away, Geoffrey Zakarian telling him to "go back and fix it!", Santos yells "HELL NO!" and cracks up the rest of the competitors.
  • The appetizer round of the teen chefs episode has three of the chefs crowding around one of the plates to see what they did, and just having a good time.
  • In the Season 3 Chopped Champion finale, chef Jun Tanaka admits that his first exposure to cooking was when, as a child in Japan, his mother ran a baking class out of their kitchen, where he spent most of his time under the kitchen table looking at women's legs.
  • Robert Irvine was on one of the celebrity episodes, and was positively disgusted with the presence of Brand X Fruit Loops as an ingredient. He doesn't even open the box like a normal person—he takes a gigantic butcher's knife and effectively guts the box to access the cereal. Even the other judges can't help but react to the sight of this talented chef showing his opinion of the ingredient.
  • In an all-fried-foods episode, one contestant puts canned chickpeas in hot oil before they're thoroughly dried; oil then spews from his dutch oven. This prompts Amanda Freitag to deliver a public-service announcement to one of the cameras, smiling the entire time she delivers her message:
    Amanda: Be careful when frying at home. Don't use liquidy items in hot oil. Thank you.
  • Pretty much all of the installments of Chopped: After Hours, especially when Ted encourages the judges to try and sabotage each other.
  • The 2013 Halloween episode, which featured one chef who seemed sincerely convinced that he'd been left on Earth by aliens. This was even better when he decides to melt a green, gummy candy skull, one of the basket ingredients, and it does end up looking like an alien head.
    • There was also Chef Sharon, who declares that she hates Halloween the second Ted asks her about it.
  • On one of the 2014 Chopped Teen tournament episodes, the dessert round is just about to start, but Ted slips up and says they have "Thirty seconds on the clock." When one of the competitors (Lucy) points this out, the music stops, complete with a record scratch, and Ted goes "Oh. Oh, shoot! Good catch!"
  • In one episode, a middle-aged female contestant opens a bottle with her teeth. Cut to Scott admitting: "That was kind of hot!" and Alex beside him giving the most epic did-you-ACTUALLY-just-say-that look of all time.
  • There have been a few episodes themed around using ingredients that are normally discarded — a very worthwhile concept. In one such episode, the first ingredient in the dessert round was the skin and core of a pineapple, and the camera perfectly caught judges Aarón Sánchez and Marcus Samuelsson all but dry-heaving at the sight. Good luck chefs!
  • On the show's first ever couples competition (titled "Double Trouble"), an ingredient in the appetizer round is Rocky Mountain oysters.
    Alex: You'll notice every man in the couple is handling the meat.
    Scott: It's because the balls are taken away from them very early in the relationship, and it's just nice to see them again.
  • In one of the Chopped: All-Stars episodes, where famous chefs are competing for charities, one of the entree ingredients is single-serve coffee pods, like the kind the come in Keurig coffee makers. A near minute is spent on all three of the contestants contemplating them in horror/bewilderment.
    Contestant:I am competing for charity. Why you give me this?
  • During the Hot Pepper challenge episode, Aaron Sanchez comments that the dish could have used more habernero (habernero being a basket ingredient). The other two judges (Zakarian and a guest judge) are eating the appetizer and say that no, it has just the right amount of heat to prevent it from overpowering the other ingredients. Sanchez shoots an incredulous "whatever, you guys" look over to them. Queue the next contestant (a Chinese immigrant) who didn't think the habernero was spicy by her standards, and all three judges (Sanchez included) are practically smoking out their ears.
  • In the third episode of the five in the "Pros vs. Joes" Chopped Ultimate-championship, which was the "Amateurs"-episode, two of the contestants were one of the dads from the Fathers Day-special and one of the grandmothers from the "Grandma vs. Grandma"-episode, and they actually got into a fight over the grill (the grandma ended up getting it and they both made it to the final round, and the dad won).
    • In the final part of that five episode-arc, the same dad almost got into another fight over the same grill, but this time, it was almost with Laila Ali—who happens to be one of the daughters of Muhammad Ali and who also spent ten years of her life working professionally as boxer, just like her own dad did. The guy later admitted that although he wanted the grill, there was no way he was getting into a fight with Muhammad Ali's daughter.