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'''Alfred:''' Sir. Young master. You wouldn't grass on faithful old Alfred to the rozzers, would you? Not Alfred.\\
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** When Bruce finally gets back, Stirk is still on the floor, surrounded by shell casings, leading to a humorous exchange:
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** When Bruce finally gets back, Stirk is still on the floor, surrounded by shell casings, casings[[note]]Look closely and you will discover there are more shell casings on the floor than on-panel shots, indicating Alfred shot Stirk ''several more times'' before Bruce got back[[/note]], leading to a humorous exchange:
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** Not to say Alfred isn't also enjoying riling up Bruce a bit for shits and giggles.
'''Alfred:''' Sir. Young master. You wouldn't grass on faithful old Alfred to the rozzers, would you? Not Alfred.\\
(''cue SmashCut to Batman dumping an unconscious Stirk on Commissioner Gordon's desk at Gotham PD.'')
'''Alfred:''' Sir. Young master. You wouldn't grass on faithful old Alfred to the rozzers, would you? Not Alfred.\\
(''cue SmashCut to Batman dumping an unconscious Stirk on Commissioner Gordon's desk at Gotham PD.'')
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* ''Funny/LEGOBatman''
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* ''Funny/LEGOBatman''''Funny/LEGOBatmanTrilogy''
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[[caption-width-right:381:[[TheComicallySerious Batman can make anything funny]].]]
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%%
%% Image selected via crowner in the Image Suggestion thread: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/crowner.php?crowner_id=a9vxeopa
%% https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=1452266899092104700
%% Please don't change or remove without starting a new thread.
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[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/batman_being_hilarious.PNG]]
%% Image selected via crowner in the Image Suggestion thread: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/crowner.php?crowner_id=a9vxeopa
%% https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=1452266899092104700
%% Please don't change or remove without starting a new thread.
%%
[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/batman_being_hilarious.PNG]]
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Changed line(s) 157 (click to see context) from:
* ''Funny/GothamKnights''
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* ''Funny/GothamKnights''''Funny/GothamKnights2022''
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* The infamous "The Joker's Comedy of Errors!" from 1951, revolving around boners. [[HaveAGayOldTime Y'see, back then, it meant "mistake", not an erect penis.]] Basically, Joker makes a boner, gets mocked, and then decides to make boners the theme of his crime for this story. Throughout the issue, the word "boner" is casually repeated. While funny in the context of 1951 since the evil scheme revolves around blunders, today, it's hysterical, with {{Accidental Innuendo}}s abound.
-->'''Commissioner Gordon:''' Batman! We've got to stop the Joker! Those boner crimes are making us look bad! And I'm worried about the boner he's readying for you!
-->'''Commissioner Gordon:''' Batman! We've got to stop the Joker! Those boner crimes are making us look bad! And I'm worried about the boner he's readying for you!
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-->''"I don't scare that easily. I've seen '''Batman''' eat corn on the cob."''
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-->''Sometimes the wain comes down so hawrd you fowrget you've ever been dwy.''
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* ''Funny/GrantMorrisonsBatman''
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* ''Funny/GrantMorrisonsBatman''''Funny/BatmanGrantMorrison''
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* ''The Batman's Grave'' #issue 10: Wayne Manor is infiltrated by insane cannibalistic serial killer Cornelius Stirk, but Stirk is annoyed that he can't find Wayne. He decides to settle for Alfred, but [[UnderestimatingBadassery wildly underestimates the old man]], who manages to QuickDraw a silenced SOCOM and shoot Stirk. What's comedic is that Alfred, being retired Special Air Service, is a firm believer in [[MakeSureHesDead doing the job thoroughly]], so he firstly shoots Stirk in the face. Then he shoots Stirk again on the way down. When Stirk looks up at him, Alfred shoots him a third time. Alfred walks off panel to contact Bruce, then stops, turns back around, and returns to casually shoot Stirk ''[[DoubleTap a fourth time]]'' despite Stirk being down. Alfred leans in close to observe the prone, unmoving Stirk, and seemingly satisfied, he straightens back up... and ''[[OverlyLongGag shoots him again]]'', for five total shots at point-blank range. Luckily for Stirk, Alfred uses non-lethal rounds, but still.
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* ''The Batman's Grave'' #issue 10: issue #10: Wayne Manor is infiltrated by insane cannibalistic serial killer Cornelius Stirk, but Stirk is annoyed that he can't find Bruce Wayne. He decides to settle for Alfred, but [[UnderestimatingBadassery wildly underestimates the old man]], who manages to QuickDraw a silenced SOCOM Mauser C96 pistol and shoot Stirk. What's comedic is that Alfred, being retired Special Air Service, is a firm believer in [[MakeSureHesDead doing the job thoroughly]], so he firstly shoots Stirk in the face. Then he shoots Stirk again on the way down. When Stirk looks up at him, Alfred shoots him a third time. twice more. Alfred regards his work, walks off panel to contact Bruce, then stops, turns back around, apparently changes his mind and returns after a moment to casually shoot Stirk ''[[DoubleTap a fourth fifth time]]'' despite Stirk being down.having remained down the entire time. Alfred leans in close to observe the prone, unmoving Stirk, and seemingly satisfied, he straightens back up... and ''[[OverlyLongGag shoots him again]]'', for five six total shots at point-blank range. Luckily for Stirk, Alfred uses non-lethal rounds, but still.still.
** When Bruce finally gets back, Stirk is still on the floor, surrounded by shell casings, leading to a humorous exchange:
--->'''Bruce:''' You KILLED him?\\
'''Alfred:''' Of course not. I'd never get that out of the carpet.
** Bruce later holds his own though.
--->'''Alfred:''' Anyway, you will have to make it look like look like the Batman didn't arrive here to pick him up.\\
'''Bruce:''' You're right. I should call the police and tell them there's a shot man on my floor and TheButlerDidIt.
** When Bruce finally gets back, Stirk is still on the floor, surrounded by shell casings, leading to a humorous exchange:
--->'''Bruce:''' You KILLED him?\\
'''Alfred:''' Of course not. I'd never get that out of the carpet.
** Bruce later holds his own though.
--->'''Alfred:''' Anyway, you will have to make it look like look like the Batman didn't arrive here to pick him up.\\
'''Bruce:''' You're right. I should call the police and tell them there's a shot man on my floor and TheButlerDidIt.
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** In this same vein of humor over in [[ComicBook/RobinSeries his own book]] Tim Drake once responded to a villain's attempts to frighten him with:
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** In this same vein of humor over in [[ComicBook/RobinSeries [[ComicBook/Robin1993 his own book]] Tim Drake once responded to a villain's attempts to frighten him with:
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* ''Funny/RobinSeries''
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* ''Funny/RobinSeries''''Funny/Robin1993''
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* ''Funny/RedRobin''
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Changed line(s) 57 (click to see context) from:
* ''The Batman's Grave'' #issue 10: Wayne Manor is infiltrated by insane cannibalistic serial killer Cornelius Stirk, but Stirk is annoyed that he can't find Wayne. He decides to settle for Alfred, but [[UnderestimatingBadassery wildly underestimates the old man]], who manages to QuickDraw a silenced SOCOM and shoot Stirk. What's comedic is that Alfred, being retired Special Air Service, is a firm believer in [[MakeSureHesDead doing the job thoroughly]], so he firstly shoots Stirk in the face. Then he shoots Stirk again on the way down. When Stirk looks up at him, Alfred shoots him a third time. Alfred walks off panel to contact Bruce, then stops, turns back around, and returns to casually shoot Stirk ''a fourth time.'' Alfred leans in close to observe the prone, unmoving Stirk, and seemingly satisfied, he straightens back up... and ''[[OverlyLongGag shoots him again]]'', for five total shots at point-blank range. Luckily for Stirk, Alfred uses non-lethal rounds, but still.
to:
* ''The Batman's Grave'' #issue 10: Wayne Manor is infiltrated by insane cannibalistic serial killer Cornelius Stirk, but Stirk is annoyed that he can't find Wayne. He decides to settle for Alfred, but [[UnderestimatingBadassery wildly underestimates the old man]], who manages to QuickDraw a silenced SOCOM and shoot Stirk. What's comedic is that Alfred, being retired Special Air Service, is a firm believer in [[MakeSureHesDead doing the job thoroughly]], so he firstly shoots Stirk in the face. Then he shoots Stirk again on the way down. When Stirk looks up at him, Alfred shoots him a third time. Alfred walks off panel to contact Bruce, then stops, turns back around, and returns to casually shoot Stirk ''a ''[[DoubleTap a fourth time.'' time]]'' despite Stirk being down. Alfred leans in close to observe the prone, unmoving Stirk, and seemingly satisfied, he straightens back up... and ''[[OverlyLongGag shoots him again]]'', for five total shots at point-blank range. Luckily for Stirk, Alfred uses non-lethal rounds, but still.
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* ''The Batman's Grave'' #issue 10: Wayne Manor is infiltrated by insane cannibalistic serial killer Cornelius Stirk, but Stirk is annoyed that he can't find Wayne. He decides to settle for Alfred, but [[UnderestimatingBadassery wildly underestimates the old man]], who manages to QuickDraw a silenced SOCOM and shoot Stirk. What's comedic is that Alfred, being retired Special Air Service, is a firm believer in [[MakeSureHesDead doing the job thoroughly]], so he firstly shoots Stirk in the face. Then he shoots Stirk again on the way down. When Stirk looks up at him, Alfred shoots him a third time. Seemingly content, Alfred walks off panel to contact Bruce, then stops, turns back around, and returns to casually shoot Stirk ''a fourth time.'' Alfred leans in close to observe the prone, unmoving Stirk, and seemingly satisfied, he straightens back up... and ''[[OverlyLongGag shoots him again]]'', for five total shots at point-blank range. Luckily for Stirk, Alfred uses non-lethal rounds, but still.
to:
* ''The Batman's Grave'' #issue 10: Wayne Manor is infiltrated by insane cannibalistic serial killer Cornelius Stirk, but Stirk is annoyed that he can't find Wayne. He decides to settle for Alfred, but [[UnderestimatingBadassery wildly underestimates the old man]], who manages to QuickDraw a silenced SOCOM and shoot Stirk. What's comedic is that Alfred, being retired Special Air Service, is a firm believer in [[MakeSureHesDead doing the job thoroughly]], so he firstly shoots Stirk in the face. Then he shoots Stirk again on the way down. When Stirk looks up at him, Alfred shoots him a third time. Seemingly content, Alfred walks off panel to contact Bruce, then stops, turns back around, and returns to casually shoot Stirk ''a fourth time.'' Alfred leans in close to observe the prone, unmoving Stirk, and seemingly satisfied, he straightens back up... and ''[[OverlyLongGag shoots him again]]'', for five total shots at point-blank range. Luckily for Stirk, Alfred uses non-lethal rounds, but still.
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* ''The Batman's Grave'' #issue 10: Wayne Manor is infiltrated by insane cannibalistic serial killer Cornelius Stirk, but Stirk is annoyed that he can't find Wayne. He decides to settle for Alfred, but [[UnderestimatingBadassery wildly underestimates the old man]], who manages to QuickDraw a silenced SOCOM and shoot Stirk. What's comedic is that Alfred, being retired Special Air Service, is a firm believer in [[MakeSureHesDead doing the job thoroughly]], so he firstly shoots Stirk in the face. Then he shoots Stirk again on the way down. When Stirk looks up at him, Alfred shoots him a third time. Seemingly content, Alfred walks off panel to contact Bruce, then stops, turns back around, and returns to casually shoot Stirk ''a fourth time.'' Alfred leans in close to observe the prone, unmoving Stirk, and seemingly satisfied, he straightens back up... and ''[[OverlyLongGag shoots him again]]'', for five total shots at point-blank range. Luckily for Stirk, Alfred uses non-lethal rounds, but still.
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* ''Funny/WayneFamilyAdventures''
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* ''Funny/WayneFamilyAdventures''''Funny/BatmanWayneFamilyAdventures''
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Deleted line(s) 144 (click to see context) :
[[/index]]
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[[folder:Webcomics]]
* ''Funny/WayneFamilyAdventures''
[[/index]]
[[/folder]]
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* ''Batman Film Series''
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* ''Batman Film Series''''Funny/BatmanFilmSeries''
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* In the Black and White comics, there is a short story set in World War II era Gotham. Batman catches Catwoman stealing diamonds and is highly doubtful when she claims her victim is a Nazi spy. They stake out the man for a while out of mutual stubbornness.
--> '''Batman:''' I haven't seen anything to prove that claim is true--\\
'''Victim:''' *saluting his colleagues* Heil Hitler!
--> '''Batman:''' I haven't seen anything to prove that claim is true--\\
'''Victim:''' *saluting his colleagues* Heil Hitler!
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* ''Funny/BatmanBlackAndWhite''
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* ''Funny/Batgirl2011''
* ''Funny/RedHoodAndTheOutlaws''
* ''Funny/{{Batwoman}}''
* ''Funny/BatmanYearOne''
* ''Funny/{{Knightfall}}''
* ''Funny/BatmanNoMansLand''
* ''Funny/InfiniteCrisis''
* ''Funny/BatmanTheBlackMirror''
* ''Funny/DeathOfTheFamily''
* ''Funny/RobinWar''
* ''Funny/BatmanTheDarkKnightReturns''
* ''Funny/RedHoodAndTheOutlaws''
* ''Funny/{{Batwoman}}''
* ''Funny/BatmanYearOne''
* ''Funny/{{Knightfall}}''
* ''Funny/BatmanNoMansLand''
* ''Funny/InfiniteCrisis''
* ''Funny/BatmanTheBlackMirror''
* ''Funny/DeathOfTheFamily''
* ''Funny/RobinWar''
* ''Funny/BatmanTheDarkKnightReturns''
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[[folder:Comics]]
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[[folder:Live Action Films]]
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* ''Funny/RobinSeries''
* ''Funny/{{Nightwing}}''
* ''Funny/GothamCentral''
* ''Funny/SupermanBatman''
* ''Funny/GrantMorrisonsBatman''
* ''Funny/GothamCitySirens''
* ''Funny/TheBatmanAdventures''
[[/index]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Live Action Films]]
[[index]]
* ''Funny/{{Nightwing}}''
* ''Funny/GothamCentral''
* ''Funny/SupermanBatman''
* ''Funny/GrantMorrisonsBatman''
* ''Funny/GothamCitySirens''
* ''Funny/TheBatmanAdventures''
[[/index]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Live Action Films]]
[[index]]
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* ''Batman'' Film Series
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* ''Batman'' ''Batman Film SeriesSeries''
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* 1980s-1990s Film Series
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* 1980s-1990s ''Batman'' Film Series
