- Lyle pukes on a football. Hard enough to make it go three feet.
Lyle: I spiraled it, by the way. That doesn't just happen by not caring.
- "You would cut off your own face if people thought you lost a fight to me." Envelopé would also put his kids into the Witness Protection Program for them to escape the shame. As the alt-text says, "Ray Smuckles is definitely known locally as a dude you don't want to have lost a fight to."
- Gets a call back later when Beef buys a Polish from a hot dog vendor who calls in and asks about Envelope and we hear "Plastic surgery? Really?"
- On the army they've amassed in the GOF:
Ray: Beef, why do I get the feeling that our army's made of ex-kids who were always picked last for kickball?
Roast Beef: Can you think of anyone who has a more gigantic and deep-seated fury at the world"
- The way Todd enters the North Korean Magical Realism Text Adventure world... by pissing up a rope, after being told to do so by an irate Tacodore.
- Come on.
- Pat's gayness: exposed!
- The sheer politically incorrect absurdity of the line "Hey! Don't make my car call me a fag!"
- Most of the comments can qualify as a crowning moment of funny. It's like a little, self-contained world of hilarity. Sadly, with the death of Assetbar in 2012, they may truly be lost forever.
- Spy Ware, the first appearance of Ray's fetish.
- Ray spending his time at the library... in the true Ray Smuckles Way.
- Teodor finds the guy who made Comic Sans. Asskicking ensues.
- Philippe's 5th Birthday Party, in which Todd does a lot of coke (or does he?)
- Ray Gets Sort of Stoned and its companion, Ray is high under the table.
- "Magic Underpants Finale", for starting the whole "x... is... rad!" meme.
- Roast Beef tries to kill a chicken humanely.
- The Subway Wars. Several characters start up Subways joints in the area, and things come to a head when Pat resorts to dirty tactics to get Lyle shut down. Vlad looks at Pats website (yes, Pat actually build a website for his Subway, complete with message board). Vlad, appalled by both the tacky web-design (including embedded MIDIs) and Pat's general arrogance, gets into a Flame War with Pat. Pat finally figures out how to ban Vlad, but the robot has the last laugh; he crack the site and turns it into a haven for white supremacists.
- On the topic of funny arcs, how about the brief storyline where Little Nephew tries to establish a world record by (very) slowly driving a 1973 Honda Civic into a lake, with the Running Gag of Ray conspicuously missing the round-the-clock news coverage?
- Ray's short-lived venture into porn production. Teodore's comments on each scene are hysterical.
- Pork chops with applesauce?
- Here I come dogg
- Ray and Teodor learn it's not a good idea to search Roast Beef's browsing history.