You Hurt My Feelings is a 2023 movie by Nicole Holofcener (as writer and director). Beth (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) is an author who is working on her second novel. Despite their loving and apparently perfect relationship, Beth reevaluates her life and her marriage when she and her dissatisfied sister, Sarah (Michaela Watkins) overhear Beth's husband, mediocre shrink Don (Tobias Menzies), admit to Sarah's husband Mark (Arian Moayed) - himself a struggling actor - that he wasn't impressed by Beth's second novel, despite lying to her and claiming to love it.
Tropes
- Always Someone Better: It's a Running Gag that people compare Beth to another, better-selling memoirist. Though the ending is hopeful - it shows Beth publishing her book and getting some measure of critical acclaim - she is still shown to feel overshadowed by another writer with better praise, suggesting that no matter her level of success, it will never really go away.
- Aw, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other: After Eliot expresses doubt about whether Beth loves him more than Don, the following scene shows Beth throwing herself on top of him during an armed robbery to shield him.
- Breaking the Cycle of Bad Parenting: Beth's father was very verbally abusive. Her mother is nowhere near as bad but is still extremely critical. Eliot tells her that she overcompensated as a result, and lied to him by telling him that everything he did was great. Despite this criticism, it's clear that Beth and Eliot have a much warmer and more positive relationship than she has or had with either of her own parents.
- Casting Gag:
Real-life couple Amber Tamblyn and David Cross play an extremely abrasive and bitter couple in a collapsing marriage. - Central Theme: Lying vs facing the truth (or even knowing what the truth is).
- The Cobbler's Children Have No Shoes: The irony is commented on several times that Don is a shrink but his marriage with Beth has hit a rough patch and Eliot criticizes him, even pointing out that Don isn't capable of helping him. However, downplayed in that Don is shown to be a good dad and he and Beth overcome their problems.
- "Friends" Rent Control: It's not made clear if Sarah and Beth are from money, but both of them are suggested to not be that successful (people keep claiming that Beth's book should have done better), but neither of them seem to struggle despite living in nice apartments in New York City and not having full-time jobs.
- Mama Bear: Eliot tells Don and Beth that he thinks they're insecure about not loving him as much as they love each other. Only scenes later, when Eliot's pot store gets robbed, Beth pushes him to the ground and violently climbs on top of him, even staying on top of him when the robbers make him get up to open the safe in a desperate attempt to protect him.
- Most Writers Are Writers: Beth is an author. Her son, Eliot, is also an aspiring playwright.
- One-Book Author: In-universe. Beth recently published a memoir and, though she finished writing her second novel (and first work of fiction), she's extremely worried and insecure about falling into the curse of only being able to write one book. The epilogue shows her second book being published.
- The Shrink: Don is the second type; as much as he means well, he's simply a terrible therapist who often struggles with actually helping his clients. It's not until he gets criticized by a Jerkass couple who get fed up with him and demand for their money back that he starts working on becoming a better therapist and is shown to have much improved by the time of the epilogue.
- Sickeningly Sweethearts: Despite being married for over twenty years, Don and Beth are still madly in love and regarded with envy by everyone around them.
- Surprisingly Realistic Outcome: Contrary as to what's set up by the narrative and what many other movies would do, Don's lie about what he thinks of Beth's novel does not turn out to be what ends their marriage. It's the complete opposite, as when Beth admits that she overheard his criticism, they actually talk it through like the reasonable adults they are, admit the little white lies they've told each other over the years, and still remain happy and devoted to each other a year later. In fact, it's arguably only made their marriage stronger.
- Throw the Dog a Bone: After a movie of his therapy being derided by everyone, and all his patients telling him that he's a terrible shrink, Don's final shown session ends with a warm and gentle conversation between him and a longtime patient, Ed, where Ed thanks him for the care he's shown him over decades and how much he's helped him, and both show a deep respect for each other.
- True Art Is Angsty: Played for dark laughs. Beth wrote a memoir about the verbal abuse she and Sarah suffered from their father, but characters compare her negatively to another author that also wrote a better-selling memoir — which was about sexual abuse instead of verbal abuse.
