The Unlikely Confidant is a Steven Universe fanfic by Metal Gear XANA
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When Greg discusses the feeling of loss and moving on to Blue Diamond, an idea hits her. Instead of capturing Greg to place him in Pink Diamond's Zoo, Blue Diamond decides to make Greg her personal confidant in hopes of overcoming her grief. Greg will have to learn the customs of the Gems, as well as hope that he will be a good confidant.
The fanfic can be found on FanFiction.net.
The Unlikely Confidant provides examples of:
- Affectionate Nickname: When Greg explains that his name (specifically his last name) was something he chose and not a sign of his status, the various Quartzes in the Zoo liked the idea so much that they all start getting excited with the idea of their own custom names, some coming up ones of their own while others asking Greg to name them. Even Aquamarine (now called Marina) gets in on it.
- Call a Human a "Meatbag": Marina would sometimes refer to humans as "flesh-bags."
- *Crack!* "Oh, My Back!": After sleeping in a rather confined sleeping quarters, Greg takes the time to pop parts of his back. Blue Pearl reacts in horror at the sound, convinced that he "broke" somehow, only for Marina to assure her that he's fine.
- Fantastic Racism: When Blue Diamond wants to involve the various Amethysts in her therapeutic storytelling, she makes it clear that it does not involve Skinny and Carnelian because they are the most obviously defective. Greg does not take it well.
- For Want Of A Nail: The story's premise is that everything else in canon happened before Greg was taken, and he is taken to the Human Zoo... because that's where Blue Diamond lives, and she wants him to be her therapist, not as another memento of Pink's favorite species.
- Intrigued by Humanity: The Famethyst are immediately intrigued by Greg, wondering how a human so radically different from the humans they usually look after could fall into Blue Diamond's favor. Being from Earth, they are quick to ask him questions about it and soon becomes fast friend with him. They starts naming themselves, they let him volunteer in their heavy lifting and even grow more comfortable in Blue Diamond's presence.
- No Sense of Personal Space: After having become sweaty from working with the Quartzes, Marina takes Greg to get properly bathed. She puts him through what can only be described as a "wash cycle", much to his embarrassment.
- The Shrink: As Blue Diamond's confidant, Greg has unwittingly become something akin to Blue Diamond's therapist, listening to her woes and providing her with therapeutic homework assignments in the form of sharing her positive experiences with others.
- Retcon: After the introduction of an actual Aquamarine in the show, the ones on the station are changed to be a different type with more scientific minds and none of the powers, but the others do exist.
- Sophisticated as Hell: Downplayed. Despite Marina being a high-ranking Gem, she speaks very informally, does not mind being in the company of "lesser" Gems like Amethysts and Pearls, casually talks with Greg and even refers to Blue Diamond as "Blue D."
- What If?: ...Blue Diamond kept Greg as her personal confidant rather than leaving him as a specimen in the zoo?
