[-[[caption-width-right:350:Choose: Red or Blue? And no, you can not have them both.]]-]
->'' "I'm sorry Asuka. I should have done this a long time ago. But I was afraid. With Rei and you... I no longer felt alone. I thought that if I made a choice, I would lose one of you. I didn't want to lose either of you. So I made you wait. I was so selfish..."''

During a test inside Unit-01, Rei realizes she cares for Shinji in a romantic way... and even though Shinji cares about her, his attention had been shifting towards Asuka. Determined to stop that, Rei decides to try to get Shinji's attention back. In turn, her actions force Asuka to drop her denial act and display her real feelings towards Shinji openly.

All of sudden, Shinji finds himself being in the middle of a war between his dearest persons... while the war against the Angels keeps waging and his personal traumas keep getting worse.

Written by Alain Gravel/Rakna and described by his author like "A story about how the love of two special girls can change one Ikari Shinji", ''Fanfic/TheOneILoveIs'' is one of the first ''Anime/NeonGenesisEvangelion'' classic fanfics.

It tries to address the next question seriously: "What might have happened if instead of a deconstruction of the EveryoneCanSeeIt trope, a real LoveTriangle would have developed between the three pilots during the course of the series?". However, unlike other shipping/romance fics, it does not neglect the real events of the series, and strives to fit the events of the fic in the canon storyline. Most of tragedies and mind-screwness that happened in the anime show also happened here. However, due to the changes of relationships, the characters react differently to them, and evolve and develop accordingly, leading to Shinji having not only to choose between two girls... but also between saving the world and condemning it.

It can be found [[http://web.archive.org/web/20120717162230/http://rakna.angelfire.com/toili.htm here]] -together with side-stories, spin-offs and fanart made by other fans-, [[http://fanbards.net/stories/12643 here]] and [[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/209065/1/The_one_I_love_Is here]]. And this is [[http://web.archive.org/web/20081203132639/http://www.geocities.com/nge_toili/ Rakna/Alain Gravel's old homepage]].

If you are interested in other classic Evangelion fanfics written in that era check the entries for ''Fanfic/TheChildOfLove'', ''Fanfic/{{HERZ}}'', ''Fanfic/HigherLearning'', ''Fanfic/ChildrenOfAnElderGod'' or ''FanFic/NeonGenesisEvangelionR''.


!! Tropes:



* AbortedArc: A fan began a sequel, setting the first episode between the end of episode 12 and the epilogue. Regrettably, that fan never got around to write more than THAT only episode.
* AllTakeAndNoGive: One of the reasons that [[spoiler:Shinji chose Asuka and not Rei]] was he knew their relationship would become this: she would make him the only goal of her existence, she would make anything for him without asking for anything in return and he would take everything. And it would not be fair to [[spoiler:Rei.]]
* AlwaysSaveTheGirl: In the side-story "Let the World Burn / One Dream at a Time" Gendo explains he had tried to wipe humankind out, destroyed lives -including the ones of his son and the girls he loved- and got his hands stained with blood... because he had to free Yui. He loved her, he missed her, he blamed himself for her getting trapped inside Unit 01, and he had to set her free, not matter what.
-->'''Gendo''':''"I should have known. Once you were trapped, I had to set you free."''\\
'''Yui''':''"And you thought the Third Impact would free me. That doesn't explain why you had to devastate your son's life. Seele would have given you the Impact."''\\
'''Gendo''':''"I couldn't let the old men control it. I had to make sure everything happened correctly."''
* AndNowForSomeoneCompletelyDifferent: Most of the story is told from Shinji's point of view, but some scenes and most of side-stories narrate events from other characters' points of view to flesh the plot out.
* AnguishedDeclarationOfLove:
** In episode 6:
--> '''Asuka''':''"It's okay. I can manage on my own. You be happy with Rei... Shinji... I... I love you..."''
** In episode 9:
-->'''Shinji''':''"Damn you Asuka! Are you deaf! I love you! I! LOVE! YOU! Is it so hard to understand?! Is it so hard to believe?! I love you! I would have chosen Rei a long time ago if I didn't love you!"''\\
'''Asuka''':''"You...? You do?"''\\
'''Shinji''':''"YES! So cut that crap about being worthless! It's not true! You mean a lot to me! A lot! I care more about you than I care about myself!"''
* ApologisesALot: Shinji has the habit of constantly apologizing, and it gets Asuka mad. However she gets mad because she feels that Shinji doesn't apologize for he feels that he has done something wrong but because he tries to avoid a scolding, and it drives her mad that he is unable to stand up to himself.
* ArcWords: ''"Some truths can hurt if a person is not ready to hear them."''
* ArmorPiercingQuestion: In episode 11 Shinji decides to regard [[spoiler:Kaoru]] as his friend. However a part of his mind asked:
-->'' 'If she's your friend, then why did she leave so suddenly, without a word?' ''
* ArmorPiercingResponse:
** In chapter 6, "Friends", Asuka is dissing Touji:
--->'''Shinji''':''"Hey! Touji's a nice guy!"''\\
'''Asuka''':''"He's just a pervert like you!"''\\
'''Shinji''':''"I didn't know you liked perverts..."''
** In chapter 11, during a nightmare, a vision of Rei tells openly something Shinji had been trying to not think about:
--->'''Rei''':''"After the Fifteenth Angel, you swore that you wouldn't let another Angel hurt us, but you failed to protect me and so I had to die."''\\
'''Shinji''':''"I did all that I could!"''\\
'''Rei''':''"No, you did not. You could have destroyed it."''\\
'''Shinji''':''"Attacking it was hurting you!"''\\
'''Rei''':''"You acted the same way you did with the Thirteenth Angel. You feared to hurt us, so you let us die instead. I was not as lucky as Suzuhara-kun."''
* ArmorPiercingSlap:
** In episode 4 Asuka delivered a well-deserved one to Shinji when he admitted -after asking her out, spending the day with her and even kissing her- that he had kissed Rei and shouted it was none of her business.
** In episode 11 Shinji has just [[spoiler:killed Kaoru]] and he is feeling borderline suicidal. When he mutters he should just die Misato slaps him, remembering him that [[spoiler:Kaoru]] sacrificed herself so he could live.
* ArtificialLimbs: During the Angel War Touji lose an arm and a leg. They were replaced with prosthetic limbs. They were pretty good but they did not quite looked like the real appendages, and they did not grant him enhanced physical abilities.
-->''I noticed that he also wore black gloves. I was very grateful for that. Even if the advances in bio-robotics had been astonishing these last few years, they hadn't yet managed to make artificial limbs that looked totally like real ones. Touji knew that the sight of his artificial hand tended to make me uneasy. I was over the guilt, but... I just couldn't look at it...''
* AuthorAppeal: After completing the series, Rakna confessed that [[spoiler:Asuka was his favorite character and he had always planned for a Shinji/Asuka ending.]] However he also stated [[spoiler:he started truly liking Rei after writing chapter 3 and he nearly changed his mind.]]
* BabiesEverAfter: In the four-years-later epilogue it is revealed that Shinji and Asuka are expecting, and [[spoiler:Misato is raising her and Kaji's son, Ryouji.]]
* BattleCouple: Shinji and Asuka. Due to living, working and fighting together, they started to like each other and became extremely close. This closeness kicks the plot off when Rei realizes Shinji is falling for Asuka and decides to pursue him actively.
* BeautifulDreamer: After her [[spoiler:MindRape]] Shinji and Asuka sleep together. During the night Asuka wakes up due to a [[CatapultNightmare nightmare]] and stares at Shinji for a while, thinking of how beautiful he looks and how much she loves him.
* BelligerentSexualTension: At the beginning Shinji and Asuka fight a lot even though they are clearly drawn to each other. However Rei starts to actively pursue Shinji and show her affection openly, forcing Asuka to try to show her softer, nicer side openly. As a result of it their relationship becomes calmer and stronger.
* BeneathTheMask: In chapter 6 Shinji finally realizes Asuka's self-assuredness and confidence were a mask to cover a very fragile self-esteem.
-->''There before me, from this girl who'd never shown anything but self assuredness, was a catalogue of failures.''
* BerserkButton: Do not even think about hurt or harm Asuka or Rei in some way, shape or form. Or else Shinji… will not be nice to you.
** Zeruel found out the hard way.
** And later [[spoiler:when he saw the MP-Evas munching the last remnants of Unit 02]] he went utterly nuts and tore them apart savagely.
* TheBerserker: In the FinalBattle Shinji went completely nuts when he saw [[spoiler:the MP-Evas had tore apart and eaten alive Unit 02 with Asuka inside.]] He fought like a savage beast, roaring "I'LL KILL YOU!" the whole time and he did not stop until all of them were dead.
* BewareTheNiceOnes: Shinji is usually nice and meek to the point of being a doormat. When he gets angry... he is scary. When his father meddled in his love life for his own purposes he coldly told Gendo if he interfered again he would refuse to pilot and the next Robeast could kill everyone as far as he was concerned (keep in mind he is terrified of his father usually). When an Eldritch Abomination hurt one of the girls he loved he attacked like an angry berserker. He even lashed out against Rei or Asuka when he was angry (and then he regretted it afterwards).
* BewareTheQuietOnes: Rei was a quiet, calm EmotionlessGirl seldom spoke and obeyed her Commander's orders without question or hesitation. But if something or someone threatened Shinji or her relationship with him, she became hostile and even violent... especially to Asuka since Shinji was falling for her. Her relationship with Asuka became very strained and belligerent until [[spoiler:they got a very bitter argument and a pretty virulent CatFight.]] Although that fight ended in a stalemate Asuka noted Rei was very quiet but she could be quite savage and hit hard if provoked.
* BigNo: When Shinji saw [[spoiler:the MP-Evas had chopped Unit-02 into pieces and possibly killed Asuka]] he screamed a very big and anguished "no":
-->''I opened my eyes and then saw a scene that will probably haunt me the rest of my life. I saw nine white EVAs, circling around what was left of Headquarters. And in their hands, or even worse, their mouths, they held the remains of what had once been Unit-02.''\\
* BloodLust: When Rei confessed to Shinji that the dummy plug system used her brain patterns he could not believe it because the dummy plug program fought with a savagery and thirst for blood he did not manage to associate with demure, quiet, stoic Rei.
-->''This killing frenzy... this hunger for blood and destruction... Rei?''
* BreakTheHaughty: In this story Asuka was broken even worse than in canon. In addition to the long string of traumatic humilliations, beatings, defeats and MindRape she suffered in the original series, she got to compete with Rei over Shinji. She forced herself to face her feelings, opened up to Shinji (making herself vulnerable despite of all her misgivings and fears)... and then she got depressed and heart-broken because it did not seem to be enough to win him over and she felt wanting compared with Rei. That situation increased her insecurities and feelings of inadequacy and she slowly and gradually fell completely apart and [[spoiler:tried to kill herself.]]
* BrokenBird: In chapter 6 Asuka shows Shinji she has been very, very badly hurt but she has always tried to overcome it and be a strong-willed, self-reliant girl.
-->'''Asuka''':''"Don't worry Shinji. So far, I've lived on my own, by my own, only for me, only for my own values and my own satisfaction. I don't need you, or anyone else for that matter. I... I don't want to be lonely anymore. If I could... I'd rather be with you then be alone. But it's too late now. And besides... half of your heart is not enough. If I can't have you all to myself, then I'd rather not have you at all..."''\\
'''Asuka''':''"It's okay. I can manage on my own."''
* BrotherSisterIncest: Although Shinji likes Asuka he also likes Rei (and both girls like back). However Rei does not want to tell him she is his mother's clone because she is afraid that it will kill any possibility of having a love relationship with him. Later Shinji learns about her origin [[spoiler:but he does not care about it because she is still Rei.]]
* CallingTheOldManOut:
** Shinji called his father out twice:
*** In chapter 5 Shinji gets mad because his father has manipulated Asuka and Rei. So that he marches to his office and warns Gendo against interfering with their lives again, pointing out ''he'' is more expendable than a pilot.
---->'''Gendo''':''"You think you can threaten me?"''\\
'''Shinji''':''"Of course I can. I am the only pilot of Unit-01. You need me to save your life. You know as well as I do that you don't have any spare pilots. And you also know that Rei and Asuka won't be able to fight alone for long. That is, if I don't convince them to stop fighting for you at all. In this whole scenario... you are the only one who is useless."''
*** And in chapter 11 Shinji explodes in public:
---->'''Shinji''':''"Damn you! You hurt Touji! You let Asuka suffer! You took Rei from me! And now you want me to kill Kaoru? You heartless son of a bitch! If it wasn't my mother's name, I'd be ashamed of being called Ikari!"''
* CanNotSpitItOut: Asuka had a very hard time confessing openly her feelings to Shinji. And the fact of Shinji has also a very hard time with this is part of what moves the plot forward.
* CatFight: Asuka and Rei had three, all of them were about Shinji and all of them happened off-screen:
** The first of them happened in chapter 5, while Shinji -the POV character- was trapped into the Sea of Dirac -an alternate dimension-. Asuka wanted to mask her growing worry so she said things she did not mean, and Rei took offense. When Shinji returned, Rei's left cheek was badly bruised and Asuka had a black eye and a cut on her lower lip.
** The next happened in chapter 7, during the month Shinji spent absorbed into his robot and it was narrated in the side-story "Friends or Rivals". Asuka went to Rei's apartment and they got into a fight. After beating the crap out of each other, ruining Rei's living room and being taken to NERV med bay they realized they had done something very stupid and made up.
** The last happened a while before the epilogue. Rei was wasting her life and Asuka went to her house to have a serious talk with her. When Asuka came back to her and Shinji's apartment she brought Rei along, and both girls were bruised and exhausted.
* CatapultNightmare: Asuka does this in chapter 9 after a nightmare where she was forced to relive the worst bits of her childhood.
-->''The teenage girl woke up with a start, her heart beating so fast that she thought for a moment that it would burst out of her chest. Then, the memories came again, as did the tears, silent, yet present.''
* CharacterDevelopment: Several characters go through it, but mainly the three pilots evolve greatly through the story. Shinji learns to stand up for himself and stopping to run away and give up (WordOfGod stated in one of the author notes it was one of his main goals, since he simply hated what Shinji had become at End of Evangelion). Asuka learns to stop to push people away, to not let her existence was defined by piloting a HumongousMecha (like ''[[Anime/GreatMazinger another certain]]'' HumongousMecha AcePilot / BrokenAce that she is a GenderFlipped {{Expy}} from did) and to open herself up to others. And Rei learns to acknowledge her emotions, show her feelings and developing bonds.
* CharacterizationMarchesOn: Back when the fic was being written, fans debated whether it was or was not Misato the one shot Kaji (shortly after, WordOfGod stated she did not). Rakna was uncertain about how he wanted to handle and he even put up a poll in his site. Finally he decided [[spoiler:leaving it ambiguous.]] Also, it is interesting pondering how Asuka's portrayal could have been affected by one of the extra scenes added in later releases (the one showed she had wept after kissing Shinji because she believed he really was not interested in her since he had not kissed her back and he would not even hold her or touch her) or if he would have added the manga event regarding her stepmother to her backstory, and how it would played out.
* ChefOfIron:
** Rei is a HumongousMecha pilot and surprisingly an excellent cook. When Shinji gets worried because she always eats instant food he starts to teach her how to cook a few recipes. She learns quickly and she becomes an excellent cook. Asuka even remarks she cooks like a chef.
** Shinji is not as good as her but he is still a very good cook... and the squad member with the larger number of kills.
* ChickMagnet: Shinji goes from believing nobody cares for him to ask -more than once- why girls are interested in him and what has he done to deserve it. [[http://www.oocities.org/tokyo/teahouse/2236/ The old homepage]] even joked about it, displaying pictures of Asuka, Rei, Misato and Hikari and asking if they were romantically interested in Shinji.
* CluelessChickMagnet: Shinji drew women wherever he went... and he had absolutely no idea about it. He was genuinely shocked and surprised when Rei gave him chocolates and when Hikari told him that Asuka was in love with him because he was completely oblivious to their feelings and Asuka's hints.
* ConverseWithTheUnconscious: When [[spoiler:Asuka was in a coma after attempting to kill herself]], Shinji remained by her side the whole time, talking to her every so often, hoping his voice reached her somehow.
-->'''Shinji''':''Physically, she was now fine. She had suffered from a bit of malnutrition, but nothing severe. However, she wouldn't wake up. The doctors had said it was all up to her. She didn't wake up because she didn't want to.''\\
''So I waited for her to come back.''\\
''Most of the time, I simply waited in silence. It wasn't easy. In fact, it was exhausting. It reminded me much of my experience inside the Twelfth Angel. There wasn't really anything else I could do but stay put and wait. When I got too bored, I would talk to her, hoping that the sound of my voice could reach her somehow... wherever she was. I spoke of the past, of what I thought when I first saw her on that aircraft carrier, looking so pretty in her yellow dress and how impressed I had been by her air of confidence.''
* CooldownHug: It happens a lot of times. Some of them:
** In chapter 4 Shinji hugs an upset and furious Asuka to reassure her after an argument between them;
** Shinji also hugged Misato when she was crying her heart out after [[spoiler:Kaji's last phone call]];
** Shinji hugged Asuka several times after her MindRape to comfort her and reassure her that he was there for her;
** Asuka embraced Shinji when he was collapsed over the floor and sobbing because [[spoiler:Rei had blew herself up to save his life]];
** [[spoiler:Kaoru]] hugged Shinji when he was shivering after a terrible nightmare and feeling lonely.



* DaddyHadAGoodReasonForAbandoningYou: In the side-story "Let the World Burn / One Dream at a Time" Gendo explains to [[spoiler:Yui]] he cared about Shinji but abandoned his son because Shinji scared him: his son loved him and he could not understand why; neither he thought he deserved it. Moreover, Gendo was convinced he would only hurt Shinji if he stayed around.
-->'''Gendo''':''"....if all I did was hurt him, it was better that I wasn't there."''\\
'''Yui''':''"Shinji didn't think so. Or at least up till a certain point."''
* DeathEqualsRedemption: Averted with [[spoiler:Gendo.]] In the final moment of his life he [[spoiler:met Yui]] at last, and he confessed he knew he had done many horrible things [[spoiler:to try to get her back,]] and he said he was sorry for what he had done to [[spoiler:his son. His wife]] informed him that he had to earn his redemption yet in order to have her forgiveness.
* DefrostingIceQueen: Shinji had defrosted both [[{{Tsundere}} Asuka]] and [[EmotionlessGirl Rei]]... and he had no idea that had done so until both got jealous and started fighting over him.
* DespairEventHorizon:
** Asuka. After several close calls (in episode 6 when she thought she had lost Shinji and in episode 9 after her MindRape), Asuka crosses the line in episode 10: she has been completely beaten, humiliated and even {{Mind Rape}}d, she knows she will be replaced soon, and regards herself as an utter and completely worthless failure. After [[spoiler:Rei's death]] the only thing keeping her from falling apart is Shinji loving her. But then [[spoiler:it turns out that Rei has survived,]] Asuka thinks Shinji has chosen Rei over her, and she can not bear it anymore. She runs away, leaving a goodbye note, and slits her wrists.
** Shinji was on the brink of crossing it after [[spoiler:Kaoru's death.]] Then the [[spoiler:Geofront was invaded, Misato got shot, Asuka's Unit 02 got butchered and eaten by the MP-Evas]] and Shinji thought he had nothing left.
--->''All those who had meant something to me, all those I had cared for... they were all dead. I had nothing, nothing left. Nothing to expect. No hope.''
* {{Determinator}}: At the end of episode 11, when Shinji is at his lowest, Misato explains why he can not and must not give up. Thanks to her words he does not give up and he [[spoiler:keeps fighting during the FinalBattle, even though everything seems lost and he has nothing left, and defeats nine war mechas.]] And because he did not give up, [[spoiler:Asuka survived the battle.]]
* DidYouJustPunchOutCthulhu: During the FinalBattle Shinji driving Unit-01 [[spoiler:ran the Lance of Longinus through an EldritchAbomination born when Gendo performed the Forbidden Union betweeh Lilith and Adam.]]
* DrivenToSuicide: [[spoiler:Asuka had been completely beaten, humiliated and even {{MindRape}}d, after which she knew she would be replaced.]] She regarded herself as an utter, worthless failure, and the only thing keeping her from falling apart completely was Shinji loving her. However, when she thought Shinji had chosen [[spoiler:Rei]] over her, she lost her only reason to live left. She wrote a good-bye note, ran away and slit her wrists. [[spoiler:Fortunately she got found in time to save her life.]]
* DudeShesLikeInAComa: At the beginning of chapter 12, Shinji is watching over a comatose [[spoiler:Asuka.]] Before leaving for a little while he leans over and kisses her lips softly.
-->''I bent down (painfully) toward Asuka and gave a soft kiss on the sleeping girl's lips. I almost regretted I did. Those were not the moist and soft lips I knew; they were dry, cracked, and completely unresponsive.''
* DyeOrDie: After the FinalBattle [[spoiler:Rei]] dyes her hair brown (and wears contact lenses) so nobody knows [[spoiler:she is still alive.]]
* EldritchAbomination: The Angels -or Messengers-, giant alien monsters sporting all kind of shapes and abilities. Nearly all of them keep their canon selves, but Tabris. He is [[spoiler:a her in this story.]] Adam -the father of the Angels- and Lilith -mother of all life on Earth- also show up. In addition to them [[spoiler:Gendo manages to merge with both Adam and Lilith at the end of the story.]]
* EmotionlessGirl: Rei starts the story like this, completely emotionless, but she learns to identify and display their emotions and becomes more expressive as she spends time with Shinji and later Asuka. However, when Shinji disappeared for one month [[spoiler:-and later when he chose Asuka over her-]] she reverted to her original behaviour (although Asuka managed to make her snap out of it the second time).
* EveryoneCanSeeIt: Everyone could see Asuka liked Shinji and vice versa. Everyone but Shinji, of course. When Hikari told Asuka liked him and she believed that they were a couple he was genuinely shocked.
* FateWorseThanDeath: After trying to cause Third Impact to reunite with Yui, [[spoiler:Gendo gets trapped in a sorts of deserted Limbo, separated from his wife forever... which is his personal vision of Hell.]]
* FieryRedhead: Asuka is quite hot-tempered, hot-blooded and emotional. This is visible in her first scene, where she has a jealousy-fueled public meltdown after Rei has given chocolates to Shinji. It is even reinforced by chapter 4's title ("Don't play with fire") which focused on her.
* FirstGirlWins: [[spoiler:Averted. Nope. She does not.]]
* FirstKiss: In chapter 5 Shinji and Asuka kiss during their first date after Asuka challenged Shinji to kiss her.
* ForWantOfANail: The nail is Rei watching and feeling several Shinji's memories during a synch test in Unit 01 and realizing she likes him but he is falling for Asuka. Rei decides she will not let Asuka have him, and subsequently she gives Shinji a chocolate box in Valentine’s Day. That action unleashes a succession of changes alter the relationships between the main characters profoundly and eventually lead to [[spoiler:avert the end of the world.]]
* FreudianExcuse: Most of the story is narrated from Shinji's point of view, so Gendo is treated very unsympathetically most of time. The "Let the World Burn/One Dream at a Time" side-story explores his personality and motivations. Gendo is depicted as a pathetic, broken shell of a man always felt lonely and frightened of other people, thought nobody would ever love him because he was not worth it and fell utterly apart after his wife's death, sending his only son away because he was scared of Shinji and of hurting him.



* GetAHoldOfYourselfMan: After [[spoiler:killing the last Angel]] Shinji feels more depressed and lonelier than ever and he implies he wants to commit suicide. Misato slaps him -and the slap was worthy of ''[[Anime/MobileSuitGundam Bright Noa]]'' himself- and points out that if he dies all hurt his friends went through and all sacrifices they did will be meaningless.
-->''"Why am I the one who always stays alive? Why do people have to sacrifice themselves for me? I'm not worth it! My life is not worth so much pain. I should have been the one to die. Maybe there's still time to put an end to the pain."''\\
''I gasped as I felt Misato's hand hitting my cheek.''\\
''"Don't you ever say that, Shinji! Don't even dare think about it! If you die now, then all the sacrifice and suffering your friends went through would become meaningless! Don't disgrace them!"''\\
''The words hit me even harder then her hand. I had never thought about things this way.''
* GenderFlip: In this story [[spoiler:Kaworu Nagisa]] -a character is male in canon- is a girl (and gets a rename: [[spoiler:Kaoru Nagisa]]).
* GoodPeopleHaveGoodSex: Shinji [[spoiler:had sex with Rei and later Asuka]] when they needed comforting each other. It is depicted as a tender, heart-warming moment where they tried to take care of each other.
* GratuitousGerman: Asuka uses her mother tongue liberally.
** In chapter 5 she exclaims "Gott sei Dank!" ("Thank God!") when she sees Shinji is cooking.
* GrewASpine: Shinji forces himself to grow a spine AND keeping it intact to protect [[HeroesWantRedheads Asuka]] and [[BrotherSisterIncest Rei]].
* HappilyMarried: [[spoiler:Shinji and Asuka]] got married in the Epilogue after living several years together happily.
* HeroesWantRedheads: Shinji finds himself attracted to Asuka... [[spoiler:and at the end, he chooses her.]]
* HatesBeingAlone: The three Children suffered of this in the original material, but it increases cause the events of the fic. Rei no longer wants to be alone, and Shinji and Asuka (who was good pretending otherwise) hate it now. The former tells he was used to it before, but after being in a LoveTriangle he does not want to be alone again. And the latter sobs to Shinji she is sick of being alone during a TheReasonYouSuckSpeech to herself.
* HighSchoolSweethearts: Asuka and Rei competed over Shinji when they went to the same school until he [[spoiler:chose Asuka.]] In the epilogue they got married.
* HotBlooded: Asuka is very emotional and her reactions are often extreme. Often in the story she goes from sheer rage to bitter weeping in a matter of seconds (such like when Rei gave Shinji chocolates and Asuka got beyond mad, stomped towards him, slapped him, and then ran from the classroom so nobody saw her crying). And she is too hasty and rash for her own good.
* HowTheMightyHaveFallen: Asuka was [[AcePilot the best Eva pilot]], a genius and a [[FieryRedhead beautiful girl]]. She gloated about it because her very fragile self-esteem depended on being the best at all what she did. However throughout the fic she got routinely beaten by her teammates, defeated by the [[{{Robeast}} Angels]] and the guy she loves is uncapable to choose between her and another girl. When she is {{mind Rape}}d, that is the final blow and humilliation and she feels that she is worthless and she has nothing to live for. She even quotes the line verbatim:
-->'''Asuka''': "How the mighty have fallen. Look at me... I'm crying... I hate crying... only a weak person cries. I hate Wonder Girl... she showed everyone how pathetic I was. I hate you... you made me cry, now you can see how disgusting I am. I hate everybody... but most of all... I hate myself..."
* HumongousMecha: The bio-mechanical Evangelions. Shinji hates them, but after the War [[spoiler:Unit 01 is the only giant robot left and he still has to undergo regular synch tests with it.]]
* IgnoredEpiphany:
** Played straight in chapter three. Shinji is making out with Rei. Suddenly he starts thinking about Asuka, and he is unable to go on. If he would have realized that it meant he loved Asuka the most, the LoveTriangle could have been resolved right then, but instead of getting a clue he complained about Asuka mucking things up.
** Played straight again one chapter later. Asuka dares Shinji to kiss her because she was bored. Typically clueless, Shinji replies that "You don't kiss a guy because you're bored". Exactly, Shinji. So, ''think'': Why does she want to kiss you?
** Averted in a later chapter. Shinji suggests Asuka her parents surely care about her. She lets him know that his father does not give a damn about her and her mother is dead. After few seconds it hit him that she was just like him.
* InferioritySuperiorityComplex: Shinji used to envy Asuka's boastful arrogance and confidence... and then he saw her berating herself several times and losing her will to live after her MindRape and he realized her confidence was false and she was a very insecure, vulnerable person.



* TheKidWithTheRemoteControl: After being absorbed into Unit 01 and [[spoiler:being told about Rei’s origins]] Shinji realizes he was the only one could pilot Unit 01 despite being a teen with no training because his mother is inside the giant robot.
* LateArrivalSpoiler: This fanfic got finished several years ago and became very popular among the fans, so that if someone starts reading the story for first time it's likely that person already knows beforehand whom Shinji chooses.
* LatexSpaceSuit: The pilots wear skintight suits called plugsuits when they drive their giant robots. In this story there are two standard models: one for males and another for females. However Asuka's plugsuit is different from Rei's because Asuka is first production model's pilot and her plugsuit's design is the standard one.
* LetsWaitAWhile: Subverted. In an early chapter Rei wants to have sex with Shinji but he backs out because [[spoiler:he can not stop to think about Asuka.]] Not wanting to hurt Rei he lies, saying he stopped because he wants to make sure things don't go too fast.
* LoveConfession: Rei blurted out she loved Shinji in presence of everybody during a celebratory party in Misato's home. Asuka said Shinji she liked him several weeks later when they were alone and sharing bedding space, but due to her fear to be vulnerable she did not say she loved him until she thought she had lost him. Shinji admitted he cared about both girls early on, but it was when [[spoiler:Asuka got {{Mind Rape}}d by Arael when he dared to tell her he loved her.]]
* LoveEpiphany:
** Shinji has three: when he realizes [[spoiler:he has fallen in love with Rei]], when he understands he [[spoiler:cares for Asuka]] because he is in love with her, and finally when he realizes it is [[spoiler:Asuka the one he loves the most.]]
** Rei has hers in the Prologue: during a sync test in Unit 01 she accidentally sees Shinji's memories, realizes he has feelings towards Asuka and herself and gets afraid of losing him to Asuka. Then she realizes she likes him.
** Asuka has hers when she sees Rei giving chocolates to Shinji.
* LoveHurts:
** Shinji had been alone since he was a kid and he was resigned to it. Then he met Asuka and Rei and he fell for them. However [[spoiler:Rei blew herself up to stop Armisael and Asuka ran away and slit her wrists because she thought she had lost him.]] Shinji was alone again [[spoiler:for a while]] and he felt loneliness was unbearable now.
** Asuka fell for Shinji and it hurt her knowing he had feelings not only for her but also for Rei. After her MindRape she felt he was the only thing she had left. Thinking she had lost him too was the final blow to her mental stability. She [[spoiler:ran away and attempted to kill herself.]]
* LoveInterest: Shinji is Asuka and Rei's love interest. He loves both girls [[spoiler:and finally he chooses Asuka.]]
* LovelyAngels: Asuka and Rei were part of a team of HumongousMecha pilots. Unfortunately, due to their different personalities and being fighting over the same boy their teamwork was pretty ineffective.
* LoveMakesYouEvil:
** Gendo specifically tells that his hands are blood-stained because he thought it would be the only way to reunite with his wife.
** In an alternate ending [[spoiler:Shinji is so determined to get Asuka back that he is following on his father's steps.]]
* LoveRevelationEpiphany: In chapter 1 Rei gave Shinji chocolates. In reaction Asuka got beyond mad, yelled him and slapped him. Then she cried and ran out of the class. And Shinji had absolutely no idea of why. Later Hikari yelled him he was a blind, thick-headed idiot and told him that Asuka loved him. Shinji was shocked because he liked Asuka but he could not believe she was interested in him.
* LuminescentBlush: In chapter 9 Shinji blurts out that he loves Asuka to her face. Then he blushes brigthly.
-->''As the words sunk in, Asuka's eyes grew wider and wider. I felt myself blushing heavily under her gaze.''



* MamaBear: Yui Ikari went berserker every time her son was in danger... and when [[spoiler: Misato said she did not want to die because she was pregnant]] she activated Unit 01. Shinji -who had refused to sortie until then- realized his mother wanted to protect [[spoiler:Misato's]] baby as well, and he reluctantly agreed to fight.
* MindRape:
** When Shinji fell into Leliel, the Angel entered his mind to try understand the human mind. However Shinji did not realize what was happening, and he attributed the visions he got to an hallucination.
** On the other hand, when Arael burst into Asuka's mind, forcing her to relive her worst memories, she was ''painfully'' aware what was happening. She screamed and even begged for it stopping and leaving her alone.
--->''"My mind has been sullied. Shinji... it's polluted. What should I do? My mind has been polluted... I... I want to die..."''
* MindScrew: There was at least three: the first in chapter 5 Shinji falls into Leliel trap and sees an image of his younger self asking what he loves and what people thinks of him; in chapter 7 when Shinji is absorbed into his giant robot and wades through a bunch of hallucinations; and in chapter 12's side-story when [[spoiler:Gendo merges with Adam and Lilith. He and Unit 01 grab the Lance at the same time and all the sudden we see Gendo and Yui are in some kind of Eldritch Location. They talk, Gendo explains his actions, Yui and Kaoru lecture him about his mistakes, and Yui tells she will set him free because he was willing to do anything to save her... and maybe after a long while she will forgive him.]]
* NoodleIncident: Shinji spent one month absorbed into Unit 01. After getting pulled out of the giant robot, he found Asuka and Rei were now friends and were living together. Shinji asked Misato what had happened between them, and his guardian mentioned off-handily a CatFight, but she did not provide further details (a side-story written later by another author narrated what happened that month, though).
* NotSoDifferent:
** In the false epilogue it was shown what Shinji might have turned into if [[spoiler:Asuka would have never awoken from her coma:]] He would become eerily cold and driven, and his obsession with saving the woman he loved would lead him to try to bring about Instrumentality, manipulating everyone around him and treating them like tools to achieve that goal. In a nutshell, he would turn into his father. As a reader put told, the scariest thing of that alternate epilogue is it feels right.
** Likewise, Shinji notes several times throughout how alike he and Asuka are, to the point of considering it eerie.
--->''I'd thought once before that she was a lot like me, by pushing people away... but I'd never imagined this. It was distressing to find out how much we really were alike.''
* ObliviousToLove: Shinji had no freaking idea that Asuka and Rei liked him. He was utterly clueless. So that when Rei gave him chocolates in episode 1 he was surprised. When Asuka got mad with jealousy he was incredulous. When Hikari told Asuka liked him he was shocked and amazed. Then in episode 2 they argued, shouting (Asuka) and snarling (Rei) at each other that he was hers and Shinji finally got a clue. Finally.
* OfficialCouple: Shinji and [[spoiler:Asuka.]]
* OfficialKiss: In chapter 4, after an awkward TestKiss, a fight, an argument and a long talk, [[spoiler:Asuka and Shinji]] kissed under the shade of a tree in the middle of a wood.



* ParentalSubstitute: Misato took Shinji and Asuka in when they were summoned to Tokyo-3. Shinji also looks up to Kaji and often goes to him for help, advice or counseling. Several times He has wished that Kaji was his real father.
* PregnantBadass: [[spoiler:Misato]] was pregnant during the final part of the Angel War. She still [[spoiler:commanded her troops in battle and shot down an entire squad of soldiers that was about to execute Shinji.]]
* TheReasonYouSuckSpeech: Done several times by Asuka to HERSELF as a horrified Shinji watches how she –someone whom he admired for her courage and confidence- tears herself apart.
** In chapter 6:
--->'''Asuka''':''"Do you realize how much it hurts?!" she continued, slightly shaking as if she were about to burst into tears. "Do you know how it feels to hold you, at night, knowing that the next day you'll hold her in your arms instead of me?! Do you know how I feel when we're eating together at school and that you look at HER instead of me?! I... I... I was desperate... I knew that... in the long run... I'd lose you. I'm only good at piloting EVA... That's the only thing I can do and I'm not even the best at that anymore. Her... she cooks like a chef... while I barely know how to make instant. She cleans, does the laundry, her apartment always sparkles... here, I expect you to do all those chores and my room is a mess. She's good at school... do you know that she's our class's top student, even though she misses half the classes? I can barely keep up because I can't understand all the kanji... me... a college graduate... how pathetic..."''
* RecursiveFanfiction: Several fans wrote a bunch of side-stories, parodies, and even an authorized -sadly unfinished- sequel ("Que Sera Sera").
* RedHeadedHero: Asuka is a redhead and one of the heroes of the story: soldier and HumongousMecha AcePilot.
* RedIsHeroic: Asuka wears a red plugsuit and drives a red robot. And if you ask her, she will tell red is the best color.
-->'''Asuka''':''White or red are much more sexy colors.''
* RedOniBlueOni: Asuka -HotBlooded, hot-headed, angry, loud- and Rei -emotionless, detached, calm, quiet-. Their relationship greatly evolves throughout the story. At the beginning Asuka detests Rei and Rei ignores Asuka. Later, when they start competing over Shinji, they can not stand each other. Finally, after a violent fight, they make up, call a truce, and they gradually become friends.
* RoaringRampageOfRevenge: At the final chapter, Shinji makes it to the battlefield... and realizes he is too late: [[spoiler:the MP-Evas have torn into pieces and eaten Unit 02, apparently killing Asuka.]] After the initial shock and horror Shinji decides his only single goal in life is making them paying with blood. Burning with rage he goes berserker, attacks and slaughters brutally all of them. He practically channelled ''[[Anime/MazingerZ Kouji]]'' ''[[Manga/ShinMazingerZero Kabuto]]'' in that scene.
-->'''Shinji''':''"Die... die... die... die! Die! Die! You monsters! You killed Asuka! I'll kill you! Kill you! I'LL KILL YOU ALL!"''
* {{Robeast}}: The Angels -or Messengers-, giant alien monsters sporting all kind of shapes and abilities. Nearly all of them keep their canon selves, but Tabris. He is [[spoiler:a her in this story.]]
* RunningGag: Shinji is constantly falling on top of women in increasingly embarassing situations -and positions-. Rei, Asuka... When he falls on top of Misato in chapter 8 he is wondering whether it is some kind of curse.
-->''However I didn't plan on Misato walking on a beer can and, with her already unsteady balance, falling on the said bed, dragging me along with her. The outcome of this... I had fallen on top of a female... *again*! Surely, it was a curse!''



* SacredFirstKiss: During their first date Asuka (not entirely) jokingly accuses Shinji of completely ruining her first kiss. He agreed, feeling pretty guilty about it. In all hindsight, [[spoiler:[[ForcefulKiss kissing her forcefully]] as she was teasing him, admitting he had kissed Rei before their date and then yelling it was nothing of her bussiness whom he kissed]] was probably not a good idea.
* ScarsAreForever: The epilogue happens four years after the FinalBattle. Asuka still sports the scars from her last battle.
* ShipSinking: The last scene of the second-to-last chapter sinks [[spoiler:Shinji/Rei. At the end Shinji chooses Asuka and says a relationship between Rei and him would be bad because he would take everything, giving nothing back, and Rei would never complain or protest. He would be using her to run from reality again, and it would be unfair to her.]]
* ShutUpKiss: In episode 5 Shinji does this to Asuka to shut her up after she dares him to kiss her.
* SourOutsideSadInside: Shinji used to think Asuka was a brave, bold, self-assured girll to the point of being obnoxious although he had seen some glimpses showed Asuka was weaker than she looked. Then in chapter 6 she started tearing herself apart and he was shocked because she was so fragile and insecure and frightened as him.
* TheStationsOfTheCanon: The story starts halfpoint through the series and it follows the order of battles and main events closely. However it introduces little gradual changes that alter the outcome radically.
* ThatDidntHappen: When Misato collapses over the floor after [[spoiler:listening to Kaji's last call]] Shinji hurries to hug her, try to console her and help her to walk to her bed. Accidentally they tripped and Shinji fell on top of her. Misato kissed him before both of them fell asleep. At the next morning both are embarassed and agree to never talk about it again.
* TheirFirstTime: [[spoiler:Rei]] has her first time with Shinji when she sees him crestfallen and tries to comfort him. Several months later [[spoiler:Asuka]] is the one is distraught after [[spoiler:her MindRape]] and asks Shinji loving her and making her forget the pain for one night.
* TheyDo: Shinji spent the whole story trying to choose between Asuka and Rei. Finally in the epilogue [[spoiler:he and Asuka got married.]]
* TitleDrop: It happens sometimes.
* TookALevelInIdealism: Through the story Shinji, Asuka and Rei often get depressed, sad or even hopeless, but ultimately they try to overcome their troubles, open up to other people and gain a more positive mindset.
* TookALevelInJerkass: Shinji. Several times. When [[spoiler:Asuka tried -clumsily- to seduce him he thought -for absolutely NO reason- she was just trying to screw Rei, so that he slapped her, called her names and treated her like dirt during several days.]] Later he [[spoiler:insulted Rei and made her crying because she had not told him who was the Fourth Child.]] In his defense, he later admitted he behaved like an ass and apologized to both girls.
* TriangRelations: Shinji, Asuka and Rei have a Type 7 relationship (thankfully without affair): Shinji loves both Asuka and Rei and both girls love him, but they are rivals (although later they become friends).
* {{Tsundere}}: Asuka hid her softer side under an intentionally harsh side because she was afraid of other people due to her childhood trauma. Thus, although she fell for Shinji, she was reluctant to show her feelings openly, restricting herself to drop hints he never got. When Rei started to pursue Shinji, though, she had no option but dropping her façade and displaying her feelings and her nicer side in plain, honest fashion.
* UndyingLoyalty: When Asuka [[spoiler:falls in a coma after the FinalBattle]] Shinjij promises he will always wait for her, not matter what.
-->''"I'll wait for you, Asuka. Even if it means waiting all my life..."''



* WhamLine:
-->[[spoiler:'''Misato''':]]''"I don't want to die... because... because... I'm... I'm pregnant..."''
* WhatDoesSheSeeInHim: In chapter 6 "Friends" Asuka tells Shinji her best friend has a huge crush on his best friend... and she has no idea of why she likes that pervert idiot:
-->'''Shinji''':''"Are you really sure she likes him?"''\\
'''Asuka''':''"Sure! I asked her. I don't know why, but she has the biggest crush on that baka. Personally, I think she deserves better, but if she want him that bad..."''
* WhenSheSmiles: After spending several chapters angry and trying to not crying, Shinji asks Asuka out. In answer she smiles, and he thinks she is gorgeous when she smiles sincerely instead of seeming mad, smug or depressed:
-->''She gave me her most beautiful smile, before reverting to her arrogant self. If I had not been seated on my bed, I might have fallen on the floor. For that brief moment, she had really been the most gorgeous person I had ever seen.''
* YourCheatingHeart: The last straw that [[spoiler:drove Asuka to suicide]] was [[spoiler:finding Shinji sleeping beside other girl.]] Although they had not done anything Asuka did not know that, and she thought that he had betrayed her (and in the first -and discarded- version of that chapter Shinji actually had sex with Kaoru).
* {{Zeerust}}: Averted in an unintentional -and ironically funny- way. In a chapter, Misato plays a Dvd for Shinji. Alain told in the author notes he guessed in 2015 there would be more advanced technology than dvd technology, but he didn't feel like making something up. Nearly in 2015, dvds keep being the most widespread information-storing technology.


->''"I won't make the same mistake this time. I won't wait for one of you to leave me. I... I had a lot of time to think. About a choice..."''