Drinking Game / The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

Ready your tankards and drinking horns, my brother Nords, for only the strong of heart and liver can handle this Drinking Game!^note We are not responsible for any crazy activities you do while drunk, such as waking up in Markarth married to a Hagraven. Also, liver failure from this Drinking Game may not necessarily be the "valiant death" you need to get into Sovngarde.

Take a swig of mead whenever one of the following happens in The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim:

• You hear one of the following lines^Protip Avoid Whiterun like the plague if you're fond of your current liver:
  • "I used to be an adventurer like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee..."
  • "Let me guess - someone stole your sweetroll..."
  • "No lollygaggin'."
  • "Wait... I know you..."
  • "Some may call this junk. Me, I call them treasure."
  • "Trinkets, odds and ends, that sort of thing."
  • "Looking to protect yourself, or deal some damage?"
  • "That spell looks dangerous... keep your distance."
  • "Do you get to the Cloud District very often? Oh, what am I saying... of course you don't."
    • Finish the bottle if you get sick of it and kill him.
    • Finish a second bottle if you use console commands to resurrect and kill him again.
  • "Never should have come here..."
  • "So you wish to master the arcane arts..."
  • "Skyrim for the Nords!"
  • "You know,if you've got the aptitude, you should join the College of Winterhold..."
  • "Fresh fish!"
  • "You know what's wrong with Skyrim these days? Everyone is obsessed with death!"
  • "Well, well! Another maggot to squash beneath my boot!"
  • "Another wanderer, here to lick my father's boots. Good job."
  • "You and me...we're the only ones in this city who aren't complete fools."
  • "My favorite drinking buddy!" (also drink an in-game beverage if you're not playing a teetotaler).
  • "Need something?"
• You end up over-encumbered.
  • Another if your follower is already too encumbered to hold any of your stuff, so you have to eat all your food or ingredients, or drop stuff.
• Down the tankard if you encounter the ghost of the headless horseman.
• A dragon randomly appears in the game world.
  • Take another sip if it was during a really inconvenient time.
  • Take one more sip for every time it kills someone.
  • Also take another sip if it manages to kill you.
    • Down the rest of the tankard if it does a Finishing Move kill on you when you had more than 50% of your health left.
    • Likewise, down the whole thing if you get a Finishing Move kill on the dragon.
  • And if you downloaded the Dragonborn DLC, take another if Miraak comes and steals the dragon's soul after you kill it.
  • And another if an essential NPC kills one.
  • Drink if it flies away rather than bothering to fight, and a second if you actually wanted to fight.
    • Down the tankard if it flew away after you tagged it with Dragonrend.
  • Down the tankard when you kill it in a populated area and everyone stops what they’re doing to examine the corpse.
• A giant blasts someone (either yourself, your follower, or a poor bystander) into space.
  • And if you're playing on the PC and downloaded Fall of the Space Core, down the tankard if it does this to the Space Core.
• Down the tankard if you encounter M'aiq the Liar on the road.
• You accidentally steal an item, incurring a small bounty and the wrath of everyone in the vicinity.
  • Down the tankard if you killed a chicken and everyone's on your case.
  • Down the tankard if that item is a horse, in the middle of a Imperial/Stormcloack camp.
• Something glitchy happens, whether amusing or game-breaking.
• A Draugr disarms you.
  • Drink again if you can't find your weapon.
• A Draugr ragdolls you with Unrelenting Force.
  • Drink again if you both used Unrelenting Force, blowing each other away.
  • DO NOT do this while fighting Sigdis Gaulderson. You'll probably need a new liver.
• Somebody badmouths the other side in the Civil War.
  • For a meta portion of the game: Drink if a fan of the game is attacking the other side.
    • Sip twice if they're on This Very Wiki. (You know who you are.)
• Fantastic Racism is either mentioned or shown.
  • Another if it's directed at you.
• Your follower does something stupid.
  • Take another one if they trigger an obvious trap you were trying to avoid. Chug until the game finishes reloading if that trap kills you.
  • Take another if your follower gets in the way of the door you are trying to get past.
• You are confronted with a Sadistic Choice anywhere in the game.
• Someone attempts to rob you, challenge you on the street, etc.
• You encounter a bear or sabre cat.
  • Down the tankard if that animal manages to overpower a dragon.
• If you've downloaded the Dawnguard DLC:
  • Take a sip for every time vampires ambush you on the road.
    • Or every time the Dawnguard ambush you on the road.
    • Or every time vampires make you load an earlier save because they killed shopkeepers. Down the tankard if it also made a quest fail.
    • Or every time a vampire labeled as a "Traveler" appears in a hold and begins trying to kill you. Prepare to see him a lot if you’re playing on the Switch.
  • Take a sip if the guards say this: "Heard they're reforming the Dawnguard! Vampire hunters or something. In the old fort near Riften. Might consider joining up myself!"
  • Take a sip if you encounter Vampires disguised as civilians or Vigilants of Stendarr.
  • Take a sip if Serana complains about the weather. Better finish the DLC quick before your liver packs in.
• Cicero or the Spectral Assassin says something annoying.
• The Courier ambushes you in a remote place.
  • Down the tankard if he shows up naked.
• Have one shot for every Daedric Prince that claims your soul.
  • Have another if they forced you into helping them.
• Take a shot if, upon entering any town, a dragon immediately appears.
  • Down the tankard if the dragon is taken down primarily by the villagers.
• Every time you walk into a room filled with sarcophagi and Draugr 'ambush' you.
• Take a swig anytime Marcurio says something snarky.
• Take a drink when you cannot fast travel because enemies are nearby.
  • Take another drink if it turns out to be a mudcrab or slaughterfish.
• Down the tankard if you're at the College of Winterhold, and it's not snowing outside.
• Take a drink if you make a potion/poison with effects that nobody could ever want combined (healing/damaging, for example) just because it's worth more.
• You mix alchemy ingredients together while experimenting and fail to create anything.
• You shoot an arrow into your follower.
  • Or if they run into your offensive spell. Or if they run into your Shout.
  • Empty the tankard if you end up killing them.
• Enemies act like morons while you riddle them with arrows while sneaking.
• You hear Jarl Balgruuf's voice actor again.
• You hear Mercer Frey's voice actor again.
• Take a drink when you lose track of your horse. Two if it doesn't reappear when you fast travel.
• Take a drink whenever someone does a cinematic kill on you. Two if you would have survived the hit otherwise.
  • Down the tankard if you were at full health.
• Take a swig for every lockpick you break trying to open a door or chest.
  • Down the tankard if the contents of the chest turn out to be worth less than the lockpicks you spent opening it.
• You discover a new location where the ground is strewn with corpses and/or skeletons.
• Take a drink every time a new port of Skyrim is announced. Take a second one if Todd Howard himself is delivering the news.
• If you choose to mod the game for the first time, take a drink whenever the game randomly crashes to desktop.
• If you run into a pack of hired thugs.
  • Another drink if you have no idea what you did to wrong the person that sent them.
  • Down the tankard if they were sent by someone who logically shouldn't be able to (like a Briarheart whose heart you ripped out of his chest or someone who is dead).
• With the Hearthfire DLC installed, every time you visit your homestead and find a pack of marauding bandits/attacking monsters/a giant, or if you find skeevers in the basement.
  • Finish the drink if the enemies kill one of your homestead NPCs.
• Drink any time a dragon says something in the dragon language. Take two if said dragon immediately translates it for you.
• If you have Anniversary edition, take a drink every time someone gives you a quest by saying "It's all in this note."

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Hey! Wake up, you drunken blasphemer!