History DeadpanSnarker / LiveActionFilm

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* Schrader in ''Film/{{Accepted}}'', whenever he is exasperated by Bartleby's actions.
--> '''Schrader''': Yeah, cool guys. [[ZanyScheme Let's start this fake college]], and then we'll go start a meth lab somewhere. Come on, it's a gateway crime. That's how these things start.
* Wednesday Addams is a snarker ''par excellence'' in both ''Film/TheAddamsFamily'' and ''Film/AddamsFamilyValues''
* Margo in ''Film/AllAboutEve''. "Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy night!" Addison perhaps even more so. Come on, he has "wit" in his last name!
** Pretty much every character has a claim to the throne but the crown just by sheer ratio goes to Birdie.
* In ''AManForAllSeasons'', title character Sir Thomas More gets in some zingers:
--> '''WOLSEY''': The King wants a son- what are you going to do about it?
--> '''MORE''': (dry) I'm very sure the King needs no advice from me on what to do about it.
* Alan has several lines in ''Film/AmericanDreamer'', until he gets shot at. Then he has LargeHam moments in frustration.
* ''Film/ArsenicAndOldLace'': The evil brother and his sidekick have a wonderfully snarky discussion after the brother learns [[BodyCountCompetition his aunts have killed more people than he has]].
* Hobson, Arthur's nanny, from the remake of ''Film/{{Arthur}}''. The original Hobson (played by John Gielgud) as well, more so (about every second line that comes out of his mouth is snark).
-->'''Hobson:''' Thrilling to meet you, Gloria.
-->'''Gloria:''' Hi.
-->'''Hobson:''' Yes . . . You obviously have a wonderful economy with words, Gloria. I look forward to your next syllable with great eagerness.
** Arthur himself in the original has his moments:
-->'''Perry's wife:''' ''(screaming)'' MY HUSBAND HAS A GUN!
-->'''Arthur:''' I'm sure he does, madam. For all I know, he shot it while you screamed.
* Dr. Evil's son, Scott, in the ''Film/AustinPowers'' series. Unlike his father, he is competent and intelligent in the area of actually being a successful evil ruler, but he is [[DudeWheresMyRespect sadly always shot down]] by his father whenever he attempts to introduce some good ideas to the table. He often mocks his father's dumb and humorous plan names (i.e. The Alan Parson's Project and Preparation H), and constantly asks, whenever Austin is successfully captured, [[WhyDontYouJustShootHim why he isn't simply just killed on-spot.]]
** He does eventually start getting respect from his father when he actually makes a legitimate attempt to be evil in the third film (so much so that he even begins [[BaldOfEvil losing his hair]]), only for his father to pull a HeelFaceTurn when it is revealed that he and Austin [[LongLostRelative are brothers.]]
* IntrepidReporter Alexander Knox in ''Film/Batman1989'', who snarks at the local government's constant denials of Batman's existence, even as it becomes more and more obvious. He's even not afraid to snark at a mob boss.
* Morris in ''Film/BigGame''.
-->'''Morris''': He was accompanied by a set of small footprints.\\
'''Hazar''': What does that mean?'\\
'''Morris''': Usually, small feet.
** Not that Hazar doesn't snark.
--->'''Tour guide''': Are you people terrorists?!\\
'''Hazar''': Well, I guess you could call us so.
* ''Film/BlondeCrazy'': Anne snarks against Bert like a reflex.
* Harold from ''Film/TheBoysInTheBand''.
* James Donovan in ''Film/BridgeOfSpies'' snarks frequently and constantly, probably to cope with the stress of the situations he gets into.
* [[Film/TheLionTheWitchAndTheWardrobe Narnia]] has enough to be a WorldOfSnark. As Jadis' wolves drag a Good Narnian fox and throw him in front of her and Edmund:
--> [[BigBad Jadis]]: Nice of you to drop in. You were so helpful to my wolves last night, perhaps you can help me now.
--> Fox: Forgive me, Your Majesty.
--> Jadis: Oh, don't waste my time with flattery.
--> Fox: Not to seem rude, but I wasn't actually talking to you.
** In ''Prince Caspian,'' Peter Dinklage as Trumpkin fulfills this role beautifully, pointing out just how ridiculously most of the other characters are behaving, and generally saying what audience members are thinking.
*** Lucy angrily tells her siblings to 'Stop talking like grown-ups!' in the same film.
---> '''Trumpkin''': "I am a grown-up."
** High King Peter has a moment of his own when Caspian expresses shock at the ancient kings' and queens' youth.
---> "We could go away and come back again in a few years."
** Skandar Keynes as Edmund has traits of this, as well.
** Edmund is actually the biggest snarker in the series. His line of snarky replies is quite long and some of them have practically become [[EnsembleDarkhorse popular on the internet]]:
--->'''Susan:''' Besides, we could all use the fresh air.
--->'''Edmund:''' It's not like there isn't air inside.
** And:
--->'''Peter:''' Is it Latin?
--->'''Edmund:''' Is it Latin for worst game ever invented?
** Also:
--->'''Lucy:''' Weren't you wondering where I was?
--->'''Edmund:''' That's the point. That was ''why he was seeking you''.
** In the second part:
--->'''Susan:''' Pretend you're talking to me.
--->'''Edmund:''' We ''are'' talking to you.
** After Susan and Caspian's kiss:
--->'''Lucy:''' I'm sure when I'm older, I'll understand.
--->'''Edmund:''' I'm older and I don't think I want to understand.
** To Peter:
--->'''Edmund''': I know...you had it sorted.
** When talking to Miraz:
--->'''Miraz:''' This is not a question of bravery.
--->'''Edmund:''' So you're bravely refusing to fight a swordsman half your age.
** And in [[Film/TheVoyageOfTheDawnTreader the third part]], ''he's actually in his full DeadpanSnarker mode''.
--->'''Reepicheep:''' (about Eustace) He's quite the complainer, isn't he?
--->'''Edmund:''' He's just warming up.
** To Eustace:
--->'''Edmund:''' I have the right to tell your father it was you who stole aunt Alberta's sweets.
--->'''Eustace:''' Liar!
--->'''Edmund:''' Oh, really? I found them under your bed. And you know what? ''[[MagnificentBastard I licked every one of them]]''.
** When rolling in:
--->'''Soldier:''' Are you sure you're 18?
--->'''Edmund:''' Why, do I look older?
** Reepicheep has one awesome moment of snark.
-->'''Pattertwig:''' We can collect nuts!
--> '''Reepicheep:''' Yes! And throw them at the Telmarines! ''glares at Pattertwig'' Shut up!
** Reepicheep also has this:
-->'''Soldier''': [[PhraseCatcher You...are a mouse!]]
-->'''Reepicheep''': You people are so unoriginal.
*** He follows it up with "Yes, I know. I am a mouse" to someone else.
** Susan has her moments herself.
-->'''Peter''': But the Beaver says he knows Lucy's faun.
-->'''Susan''': He's a ''Beaver''. He shouldn't be ''saying'' anything!
* In HotTubTimeMachine, Lou is the king of this trope.
* ''Film/{{Clerks}}'' - Randal Graves is this mixed with a generous helping of {{Jerkass}}. His cousin, Brodie in ''Film/{{Mallrats}}'' is the same way.
* [[WorldOfSnark The entire cast]] of ''Film/{{Convoy}}'' has its moments, but the two main snarks are the protagonist, Rubber Duck, and its [[Trope/TheAntagonist main antagonist]], Lyle Wallace.
* ''Film/TheDarkKnight'' has Lucius Fox, Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Lau, and ComicBook/TheJoker.
-->'''Bruce Wayne''': I need a new suit.
-->'''Lucius Fox''': Yeah, three buttons is a little '90's, Mr. Wayne.
-->'''Bruce Wayne''': I'm not talking fashion, Mr. Fox, so much as function.
-->'''Lucius Fox''': [Looks at diagram] You want to be able to turn your head.
-->'''Bruce Wayne''': Sure would make backing out of the driveway easier.
** An example for Alfred...
-->'''Bruce''': You look tired, Alfred. You'll be all right without me?
-->'''Alfred''': ''[Glances back at the sunbathing Russian women.]'' You could tell me the Russian for, "apply your own bloody suntan lotion."
** An example for Joker...
-->'''Gambol''': You think you can steal from us and just walk away?
-->'''The Joker''': [[BluntYes Yeah.]]
** An example for Lau...
-->'''Lucius Fox''': ... I've come to explain to you why we're going to have to put our deal on hold. We can't afford to be seen to do business with, well, whatever it is you're accused of being. [[IronicEcho A businessman of your stature will understand]].
-->'''Lau''': I think, Mr. Fox, that a simple phone call might have sufficed.
-->'''Lucius Fox''': Well, I do love Chinese food. And Mr. Wayne didn't want you to think we'd been deliberately wasting your time.
-->'''Lau''': Just accidentally wasting it.
* ''Film/TheDarkKnightRises'' gives this to a lot of the main characters, especially Selina Kyle and Bane.
** When Bane attacks the stock exchange:
-->'''Trader:''' This a stock exchange! There's no money you can steal!
-->'''Bane:''' Really? Then why are you people here?
** Some of Bane's lines during both of his fights with Batman fall into this.
-->'''Batman:''' ''[to Selina]'' You've made a serious mistake.
-->'''Bane:''' Not as serious as yours, I'm afraid. ''[Batman turns to face Bane]''
-->'''Batman:''' Bane.
-->'''Bane:''' Let's not stand on ceremony here.... Mr. Wayne.
** When Selina meets Stryver at the bar:
-->'''Philip Stryver:''' ''[examining the print slide]'' Very nice.
-->'''Selina Kyle:''' Mmm-hmmm. Not so fast, handsome. You got something for me?
-->'''Philip Stryver:''' Oh, yes. ''[He signals to one of his guys, who locks the front doors. Selina smiles, nervously]''
-->'''Selina Kyle:''' I don't know what you're planning to do with Mr. Wayne's prints, but, I'm guessing you'll need his thumb. You don't count so good, huh?
-->'''Philip Stryver:''' I count fine. ''[A thug cocks and puts his pistol to Selina's head]'' In fact, I'm counting to ten, right now.
** When Bruce is dancing with Selina:
-->'''Bruce Wayne:''' You wouldn't want any of these folks realizing you're a crook, not a social climber.\\
'''Selina Kyle:''' You think I care what anyone in this room thinks of me?\\
'''Bruce Wayne:''' I doubt you care what anyone in any room thinks of you.\\
'''Selina Kyle:''' Don't condescend, Mr. Wayne. You don't know a thing about me.\\
'''Bruce Wayne:''' Well, Selina Kyle, I know you came here from your walk-up in Old Town, a modest place for a master jewel thief. Which means that either you're saving for retirement, or you're in deep with the wrong people. ''[beat]''\\
'''Selina Kyle:''' You don't get to judge me just because you were born in the master bedroom of Wayne Manor.\\
'''Bruce Wayne:''' Actually, I was born in the Regency Room.
** Selina's confrontation with Daggett, where she is coolly offended by Daggett calling her a "dumb bitch".
* In the ''Franchise/DCExtendedUniverse'', we have Alfred Pennyworth, as usual, but also Comicbook/{{Batman}} himself. In ''Film/BatmanVSupermanDawnOfJustice'', there's this exchange -
--> '''Batman''': Still working, Alfred? You're getting slow in your old age.
--> '''Alfred''': It comes to us all, Master Wayne. Even you've grown too old to die young... though not for lack of trying.
** In ''Film/JusticeLeague2017'', Bruce's reaction to meeting [[Comicbook/{{Aquaman}} Arthur Curry]], as the latter has him angrily pinned him up against a wall.
--> '''Bruce''': Arthur Curry... I hear you can talk to fish.
** There's also General Stanwick, as shown in ''Film/BatmanVSupermanDawnOfJustice'', when Lois corners him in the men's bathroom to get answers.
--> '''Lois''': Is the US providing experimental military arms to rebels in Africa?
--> '''Stanwick''': You know, with balls like yours, you belong in here.
** Several examples from Superman himself, from both Man of Steel and Batman v Superman.
--> '''Dr. Hamilton''': Hello, sir, my name is—
--> '''Superman''': Dr. Emil Hamilton. I know. I can see your ID tag in your breast pocket. Along with a half-eaten roll of wintergreen Life Savers.
--> '''Lois''': You let them handcuff you?
--> '''Superman''': Wouldn't be much of a surrender if I resisted.
--> '''Lex''': I don't know how to lose.
--> '''Superman''': You'll learn.
* In ''Film/TheDuff'', Bianca's wit is as sharp as a razor. One memorable example occurs when she invades the boy's locker room, and one of them (wearing nothing but briefs) asks "Whoa, Bianca, what the hell is this?" she replies, "Oh, well, it kinda looks like a penis, only smaller."
* Olive in ''Film/EasyA'' is definitely this. She seems to get it from her mother. As is Woodchuck Todd (her crush). And Mr. Griffith takes this trope UpToEleven.
--> '''Brandon:''' "Do you wanna go out with me?"
--> (beat)
--> '''Olive:''' "Brandon. You're a nice guy and all but... you're... not... "muh type"."
--> '''Brandon:''' "Yeah, you're not my type either."
--> '''Olive:''' "I know! I have a V where you'd rather see a P."
--> '''Brandon:''' "Olive please..."
--> '''Olive:''' "Brandon, just a couple of hours ago you told me you were [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale kinsey 6]] gay."
--> '''Brandon:''' "You said I should pretend to be straight."
--> '''Olive:''' "Yeah but not with me."
--> '''Brandon:''' "I am tormented every day at school. Just one good, imaginary fling."
--> '''Olive:''' "You are on crack! And not the good kind."
* Almost all the characters in the 1966 John Wayne film ''Film/ElDorado''.
** Both main characters, on learning Mississippi's real name ([[spoiler: "Alan. Bedillion. Trehearne."]])
--> Cole Thornton (John Wayne): "Lord Almighty."
--> And later, Sheriff J.P. Harah (Robert Mitchum): "Well, no ''wonder'' he carries a knife."
** Deputy Bull (Arthur Hunnicutt), when Thornton and Mississippi come into town
--> Bull: "...might have (recognized you) anyhow if I wasn't tryin' to figure out what that fella's got on his head."
--> Mississippi: "It called a hat."
--> Bull: "Well, I'll have to take your word for it."
* Elvira in ''Creator/ElviraMistressOfTheDark'' is quite the deadpan snarker.
--> '''Cop:''' "Do you know you were doing fifty in a twenty five miles per hour zone?"
--> '''Elvira:''' "No, but if you hum a few bars I'll fake it."
* ''Film/{{Elysium}}'': Max to an extent. Considering what he's dealt with over his life and what comes next, anyone would be. Mouthing off to robots isn't too smart, though.
* The cast of ''Fifty/Fifty'', but especially Sam French and ''especially'' Jake Wyer.
* In ''Film/FindingNeverland'', Charles Frohman (the producer and financier of James M. Barrie's plays) spends most of his limited time on-screen being the deadpan, snarking, sensible {{Foil}} to the more animated, optimistic, and erratic Barrie.
* Lt. Dan in ''Film/ForrestGump''. Well, look at who plays him.
* Samuel Gerard in ''Film/TheFugitive'', from his very first scene to his last.
--> '''Gerard''': [[SarcasmMode Oh, wow,]] ''[[SarcasmMode gee whiz,]]'' [[SarcasmMode look here!]]...You know, we're always fascinated when we find leg irons with no legs in 'em.
* Deconstructed in ''Film/FunnyPeople''; George and the other comedians are certainly very quick-witted, snarky and quick with a cutting comment, but it's made fairly clear that they use wit as a substitute for actually forging meaningful connections with other people, and the often hurtful nature of their comments doesn't help either.
* Enid in ''Film/GhostWorld''.
* General Joseph Colton from ''Film/GIJoeRetaliation''.
* In ''Film/{{Godzilla 2014}}'', before Ford leaves for Japan to bail out his father, Elle is trying to tell him that Joe is a good man who just needs some help after he lost everything the day Janjira turned into a nuclear hotspot. Ford responds he lost everything too but got over it, leading Elle to respond, "Well I can see ''that''."
* Sinbad in ''Film/TheGoldenVoyageOfSinbad''. For example, when Haroun's father says Allah will smile upon Sinbad for taking on lazy Haroun, Sinbad quips, "More likely he will laugh in my face."
* Phil Conners from ''Film/GroundhogDay'' starts out as one (considering his [[Creator/BillMurray actor]], this isn't really a surprise), but CharacterDevelopment leaves him more empathic as the film goes on.
* In the movie-musical ''Film/{{Hairspray}}'', Penny Pingleton gets in a good one. When Motormouth Maybelle recognizes that her son has fallen in love with a white girl, she warns the two lovers, "You're gonna have to deal with a whole lotta ugly from a never-ending parade of stupid." Penny answers, "Oh, so you met my mom."
* Mullins and Ashburn from ''Film/TheHeat''.
** Also Tatiana and most of the drug traffickers.
** And the albino guy, but with more snark and less deadpan.
* Hedwig from ''Film/HedwigAndTheAngryInch''.
* ''Film/{{Hellboy|2004}}'''s father, Trevor Bruttenholm, seemed this way at times. Searching for Nazis on a "deserted" island, he's told, "There's nothing on this island but rocks and sheep." When they find the Nazis, he looks at the officer in charge: "They must be here for the sheep." That must be where HB himself got his snark from.
* ''Film/{{Help}}'': [[WorldOfSnark Each of ]] Music/TheBeatles.
* Marvin from ''Film/TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy''. If not for his programmed personality, he would be pretty badass.
* ''Film/TheHungerGames'': Katniss Everdeen has her moments. Especially when bantering with Finnick.
-->'''Finnick''': You can swim, too. Where did you learn that in District Twelve?
-->'''Katniss''': We have a big bathtub.
* Eames in ''Film/{{Inception}}'' is fond of this trope. As for that matter is Arthur. Usually at each other. A good bit of the fandom sees this as a sign of [[HoYay something else]] between the men.
* Quite a few characters from ''Franchise/IndianaJones'', most notable among them being Jones himself and his father. It helps that in ''Film/IndianaJonesAndTheLastCrusade'', Jones Sr. is played by Creator/SeanConnery.
-->''[secret door spins 360 degrees, leaving the Joneses back in the burning room where they started]''\\
'''Henry Jones Sr.:''' Our situation has not improved.
* Elmont from ''Film/JackTheGiantSlayer''. He ''is'' played by Ewan [=McGregor=].
* Most versions of M from Franchise/JamesBond are this. Considering the titular agent is a borderline sociopathic cavalier who cares about his principles, himself and nothing else, it's almost essential to keep him in check. Other characters have tendencies towards this - notably Tanner and Q - but M is the most prominent.
* ''Film/{{Juno}}'' is the quintessential example, though the whole movie is rife with it.
* Ian Malcolm from ''Franchise/JurassicPark''.
--> '''Ian:''' Now eventually you might have dinosaurs on your, on your dinosaur tour, right? Hello? Yes?
--> '''Hammond:''' (watching on camera feed) I really hate that man.
** Later:
--> '''Ian:''' (After surviving being knocked down by a T-rex) Remind me to thank John for a lovely weekend...

--> '''Ian:''' (after being chased by a T. rex) Do you think they'll have ''that'' on the tour?
** And:
-->'''Hammond:''' All major theme parks have delays. When they opened Disneyland in 1956, nothing worked!
-->'''Malcolm:''' Yeah, but, John, if the ''Ride/PiratesOfTheCaribbean'' breaks down, the pirates don't eat the tourists.
** Ellie Sattler can be pretty snarky as well.
-->'''Hammond''': Our attractions will drive kids out of their minds!
-->'''Dr. Grant''': What are those?
-->'''Dr. Sattler''': Small versions of adults, honey.
* Most of the characters in ''Film/TheKid2000'' have their moments, but Russ' SassySecretary Janet takes the cake.
* Almost everyone in ''Film/KingsmanTheSecretService'', notable instances are:
** Merlin telling the recruits that he'll be very impressed if the person that didn't have a parachute during the skydiving test managed to crash into the target.
** [[UpperClassTwit Charlie]] and [[LowerClassLout Eggsy]]'s first meeting is almost entirely SnarkToSnarkCombat.
** Harry's farewell to the woman trying to prevent him from leaving the CorruptChurch:
---> I'm a Catholic whore currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black Jewish boyfriend who works at the military abortion clinic. So hail Satan and have a lovely afternoon, madam.
* ''Film/KissKissBangBang'', which was also written by Creator/ShaneBlack.
-->'''Perry:''' WHO TAUGHT YOU MATHS ?
* Waldo Lydecker from the classic murder mystery ''Laura''. "You fail to understand that you're interrupting something far more important than your career. My lunch."
* Everyone in ''Film/LakePlacid''. Especially Betty White.
* Creator/ShaneBlack's ''Film/TheLastBoyScout'':
-->'''Mike:''' It just happened, Joe.
-->'''Hallenbeck:''' Sure, sure, I know, it just happened, it could happen to anybody... It was an accident right? You tripped, slipped on the floor and accidentally stuck your dick in my wife : "Oops I'm so sorry Mrs H, I guess this just isn't my week".
* Hawkeye from ''Film/TheLastOfTheMohicans''.
--> '''Heyward:''' There is a ''war'' going on! How is it that you are heading west?!
--> '''Hawkeye:''' Well we kinda face north and then, real sudden like, turn left.
* Darly in ''Leaving Normal''. On walking into Marienne's nephew's room: "Oh my god. This room has "Please, God, don't make my son a fag" written ''all'' over it."
%%* Charlie in ''Film/LettersToJuliet''.
* Snow, in ''Film/{{Lockout}}'' exists pretty much purely to deliver deadpan oneliners. The first scene in the movie:
-->'''Langral:''' Again, what happened in that hotel room?
-->'''Snow:''' Oh, it was coupon night and I was trampolining your wife.
-->[Snow is punched in the face]
-->'''Langral:''' You're a real comedian aren't you, Snow?
-->'''Snow:''' Well I guess that's why they call it the punch line.
-->[Snow is punched again]
-->'''Langral:''' You don't like me, do you?
-->'''Snow:''' Don't flatter yourself. I don't like anybody.
-->'''Langral:''' With that attitude, I can see why nobody likes you.
-->'''Snow:''' Oh, come on. People love me. Just ask your wife.
-->[Snow is punched again]
** Guy Pearce's role, the badass Snake Plisskin Expy seems to be a formidable master of Snark-Fu.
---> '''Interrogator:''' Who was the man?
---> '''Snow:''' His name was Fuk-Yoo. [''smirk''] He was Asian.
%%* Tonto in ''Film/TheLoneRanger''.
* Most of the cast of ''Film/TheLowerDepths1957'', but Yoshisaburo is the biggest example.
-->'''Rokubei''': Sutekichi, can I open the door?
-->'''Yoshisaburo''': Might as well open Pandora's box...
* ''Film/TheMadMissManton'': Two Examples:
--->'''Edward Norris''': Don't speak to anyone. I don't want to kill an innocent bystander.
--->'''Peter Ames''': Ya know, that's what I like about crazy men; that fine sense of distinction.
** And another:
--->'''Lt. Mike Brent''': She's probably the kind of dame who would come back to haunt me. Otherwise, I'd shoot to kill.
* Fanny Price in the movie version of ''Film/MansfieldPark'', quite unlike her original in the novel.
-->'''Henry Crawford''': You dance like an angel, Fanny Price.
-->'''Fanny Price''': One does not dance like an angel alone, Mr Crawford.
-->'''Henry Crawford''': What, a compliment? Let the heavens rejoice, she complimented me.
-->'''Fanny Price''': I complimented your ''dancing'', Mr Crawford. Keep your wig on.
* ''Franchise/MarvelCinematicUniverse'': Everyone gets their moment at some point, though some characters stand out more than others:
** Captain America is kind of a snarky bastard—which is fitting for a guy who spent the first twenty-odd years of his life as a pipsqueak whose only real weapon was his mouth.
** Naturally, ''Film/IronMan'' has its titular armored hero Tony Stark, which then gets taken to the next level in ''Film/{{The Avengers|2012}}'', and even moreso in ''Film/IronMan3''. Said film is even directed by the already-mentioned Shane Black.
*** Some of his better ones are as follows:
--->'''Brandt:''' Really? That's all you've got? A cheap trick and a cheesy one-liner?\\
'''Tony:''' Sweetheart, that could be the name of my autobiography.

--->'''Christine Everheart:''' Mr. Stark, you've been called the Da Vinci of our time. What do you say to that?\\
'''Tony:''' Ridiculous, I don't paint.

--->'''Captain America:''' Wait, Stark! We need a plan of attack!\\
'''Tony:''' I do have a plan. Attack.
*** And so on.
** It doesn't stop there. He programmed JARVIS to be this for SnarkToSnarkCombat.
** ''Film/{{Thor}}'':
*** Clint Barton, when a group of S.H.I.E.L.D agents unsuccessfully tries to stop Thor from entering the facility:
---->'''Clint:''' Do you want me to take him down or would you rather send in more guys for him to beat up?\\
'''Clint:''' You better call it Coulson, cause I'm starting to root for this guy.
*** Then, in ''Film/{{The Avengers|2012}}'', "Clint" turns out to be Hawkeye and joins a whole [[WorldOfSnark Team of Snarkers]].
*** Loki, who seems to become snarkier with each film.
---->'''Loki:''' ''[in a casual tone of voice]'' It's good to have you back. Now if you'll excuse me, [[spoiler:I have to destroy Jotunheim.]]
*** Sif, who mostly snarks good-naturedly at her friends.
** Thor gets his own good-natured snark moment at Sif in ''Film/ThorTheDarkWorld'':
--->'''Sif:''' I've got this completely under control.\\
'''Thor:''' ''[looks around at the destruction]'' Is that why everything's on fire?
::: He ramps up the snark considerably in ''Film/ThorRagnarok''.
--->'''Loki:''' I can't see into the future, I'm not a witch!\\
'''Thor:''' ''[looks at Loki's all black suit]'' No? Then why do your dress like one?
** [[WorldOfSnark Everyone]] in ''Film/AvengersAgeOfUltron'', as par the course for a Whedon script. Even Ultron gets in on it.
--->'''Tony:''' What's the Vibranium for?\\
'''Ultron:''' [[SarcasmMode I'm glad you asked that]] [[EvilGloating because I wanted to take this time]] [[GenreSavvy to explain my evil plan]]!
* ''Film/TheMatrixReloaded'' Neo has a moment when he's just burst through a door that suddenly leads into the mountains.
-->'''Link:''' ''[on the phone with Neo]'' You'll never believe this, but you're all the way up in the mountains.
-->'''Neo:''' [[SarcasmMode Really]] [[DeadpanSnarker ?]]
* Eve Arden in ''Film/MildredPierce''. And pretty much any other role she had.
* Joel McCrea as Joe Carter in ''Film/TheMoreTheMerrier''. Such hilariously deadpan answers.
* ''Film/MortalKombat'' has its fair share of snark.
:: Johnny Cage:
--> "Liu, I hate this place. I'm telling you, I hate it. I'm in a hostile environment, I'm completely unprepared, and I'm surrounded by people who probably want to kick my ass. It's like being back in high school!"
** Raiden:
--> "The fate of billions will depend upon you. Heh heh heh heh! ...sorry."
:: Walking away after telling Johnny and Sonya which of their fears will trip them up:
--> '''Liu:''' Wait! What about me?
--> '''Raiden:''' Oh, you.
%%* Molly the maid in ''Film/MyManGodfrey''.
* ''Film/MysteryOfTheWaxMuseum'' has Florence, who can't seem to have a conversation without snarking at her interlocutor, generally in rapid-fire 1930s slang.
* ''{{Film/Mythica}}'': Dagen. Practically everything he says is some kind of witty, cutting remark.
%%* Riley Poole in ''Film/NationalTreasure''.
* ''Film/NowYouSeeIt2005'':
** Danny, responding to much of Allison's enthusiasm with dry annoyance.
---> '''Allison''': The contestants who get the most screentime are the ones who are wildly charismatic, extremely competitive, and have usually overcome some sort of heartbreaking obstacle to get here.
---> '''Danny''': Well, right now the only heartbreaking obstacle in my life ''is you.''
** Max has his moments as well, such as this exchange.
---> '''Madame Suzette''': Danny, do you have a family history of paranormal abilities? Your mother? Your father?
---> '''Danny''': No...
---> '''Madame Suzette''': An aunt, possibly?
---> '''Danny:''' Not that I know of...
---> '''Max''': Maybe a long lost cousin, twice removed, on your father's side?
%%* [=MacNamara=]'s wife in ''OneTwoThree'', sometimes.
%%* Ed Du Bois in ''Film/PainAndGain'', sometimes.
* James Norrington in ''Film/PiratesOfTheCaribbeanTheCurseOfTheBlackPearl'':
--> '''Norrington''': Mr. Sparrow, you will accompany these fine men to the helm and provide us with the bearing to Isla de Muerta. You will then spend the remainder of the voyage contemplating all possible meanings of the phrase 'silent as the grave.' Do I make myself clear?
--> '''Jack''': Inescapably.
* Both Nick and Roy in ''Film/{{RIPD}}'' , and given their line of work, it comes to no surprise.
* Grave-Robber has some moments of this in ''Film/RepoTheGeneticOpera''.
* Alan Arkin as Peevy in ''Film/TheRocketeer'', who speaks with understated dryness.
* Riff-Raff from ''Film/TheRockyHorrorPictureShow'', especially in the takeover scene:
-->'''Dr. Frank:''' I'm going home! I'm going home! I'm going home! I'm going home!
-->'''Magenta:''' How sentimental.
-->'''Riff-Raff:''' Yes... and also presumptuous of you. You see... when I said 'we' were to return to Transylvania... I referred only to Magenta and myself. I'm sorry, however, if you found my words misleading, but you see... you are to remain here... in spirit anyway.
* Ed in ''Film/RubinAndEd''. This is partly just his natural personality and partly a defense mechanism he created to cope with his various insecurities and his DarkAndTroubledPast
* Both [[TheLancer Wallace]] [[TallDarkAndSnarky Wells]] and [[SnarkKnight Kim Pine]] from ''Film/ScottPilgrimVsTheWorld''. To a lesser extent, Ramona.
* ''Film/{{Scrooge 1970}}'': [[Literature/AChristmasCarol The Spirit of Christmas Present]], of all people. Not in the book and not in most adaptations, but in the 1970 musical ''Scrooge'' he has a ton of deadpan gems. For instance, when Scrooge says he would like to look into the window of the Cratchitt house the Spirit, inviting him by indicating with his hand, says, "It will cost you nothing--which I feel sure will be good news for you." Scrooge asks if the Cratchitts will be able to see him. The Spirit replies, "No...which I feel sure will be good news for them."
** Scrooge himself in the 1984 film.
* Mr. Palmer from the 1995 ''Film/SenseAndSensibility''. He's a minor character, but he makes the most of it by [[DeadpanSnarker Deadpan Snarking]] up a storm.
-->'''Mrs. Palmer:''' ''(talking to someone else)'' If only he'd gone to Combe Magna. We live but half a mile away.\\
'''Mr. Palmer:''' Five and a half.\\
'''Mrs. Palmer:''' I cannot believe it is that far. I can't believe it.\\
'''Mr. Palmer:''' Try.
** Well, he's played by Creator/HughLaurie...
* Various characters in ''Film/{{Serenity}},'' notably Mal and Jayne.
--> '''The Operative:''' Are you willing to die for your beliefs?
--> '''Mal:''' I am.... [draws and fires, forcing the Operative to take cover] 'Course, that ain't exactly plan A.
** Not the only Creator/NathanFillion character with this trait.
* Klaus has this role in ''Film/ASeriesOfUnfortunateEvents''.
-->'''Klaus:''' [[LampshadeHanging Does it strike you as odd]] that [[WorldOfNoGrandparents none of our relatives are related to us]]?
** Sunny too, on occasion, made all the funnier in that she speaks all in baby talk, with the meaning given in subtitles.
* Mark O'Brien of ''Film/TheSessions'' manages some real zingers, some dependent on his condition due to polio. When all you can move consciously is your mouth...
* Almost all of the main characters of ''Film/SinCity''.
* Magenta from ''Film/SkyHigh2005''. She even dryly sings the aforementioned "Rudolph the Red Noise Reindeer" line to tease Zack. And Warren Peace.
* Most of the characters in ''Film/SmilesOfASummerNight'', but especially Fredrik and Mrs. Armfeldt.
* Alex Hughes from ''Film/SnowCake''. Vivienne even calls him out on it, calling him 'Mr. Sarcastic'. Alex is played by Creator/AlanRickman.
* In ''Film/StarTrek2009'', Captain Kirk fills this role with a [[LargeHam side of ham]]. Bones [=McCoy=] also gets in a few, but Bones was always a DeadpanSnarker. It's one reason for his fanbase.
** Kirk and Bones again in ''Film/StarTrekIntoDarkness''. And Spock - in spades.
* ''Franchise/StarWars'':
** Obi-Wan Kenobi: Jedi Knight and Master of Snark
*** From ''[[Film/ThePhantomMenace Episode I]]'', after the Trade Delegation try to kill the Jedi before even meeting them, he quips on the run. "You were right about one thing, Master. The negotiations were short."
*** In ''[[Film/AttackOfTheClones Episode II]]'', he muses in a dogfight, "''This'' is why I hate flying." And when Anakin sarcastically says "Excuse me" and jumps out of a moving speeder, Obi-Wan calmly says, "I hate it when he does that."
*** Also, in the arena:
--->'''Anakin:''' We relayed your message just like you requested, Master. Then we decided to come and rescue you.\\
'''Obi-Wan:''' ''(glancing at his handcuffs and chain)'' Good job.
*** And later (also in the arena) when Anakin is worried about Padmé, Obi-Wan draws his attention to the fact that she's freed herself and has climbed to the top of her pillar: "She seems to be on top of things."
*** In ''[[Film/RevengeOfTheSith Episode III]]'', when the ''Invisible Hand'' begins to fragment: "Not to worry, we are still flying ''half'' a ship." And when they finally crash-land, "Another happy landing."
*** Later, after he [[spoiler:takes out General Grievous with precision blaster-fire]] Obi-Wan discards the blaster simply saying "So uncivilized." (This is [[CallForward a reference to his earlier (later?) line]] in ''Episode IV'' about the lightsaber being "elegant weapon, of a more civilized age" and being "not as clumsy or random as a blaster" and it is made even funnier in the book. He spends a moment thinking of the absolute worst word in his vocabulary, a real crusher. "Uncivilized" is what he came up with.
*** Earlier in the fight with Grievous (in the novelization):
--->'''Grievous:''' I was trained by Count Dooku himself.\\
'''Obi-Wan:''' Funny. I trained the man who killed him.
*** Age does not wither his snark nor the years condemn. In ''[[Film/ANewHope Episode IV]]'', when Luke tells "Ben" Kenobi that his uncle says that Obi-Wan is dead, the CoolOldGuy assures him, "Oh, he's not dead." Then he takes a quick look at his desolate surroundings and adds, "Not yet."
*** In the novelizations, even his internal narration is snarky:
--->(while clinging to a flying assassin robot hundreds of miles above Coruscant) ''This is not the best idea I ever had.''
*** And if you want to see him dial it UpToEleven, check him out in the [[WesternAnimation/StarWarsTheCloneWars Clone Wars]] animated series.
** Anakin Skywalker in ''Film/RevengeOfTheSith''. When Obi-Wan points out the inadvisability of trying to clear pesky droids off his fighter's wing by shooting at them: "I agree, bad idea." (And then he does it. Although he does blow half of the fighter wing off in the process.) When asked if he can fly the ''Invisible Hand'' as it's falling toward Coruscant's surface: "Under the circumstances I'd say the ability to fly this thing is irrelevant." (And then he does it.)
*** His snark is even worse in the novelization of ''Revenge of the Sith,'' especially when as Vader he's killing the Separatist leaders:
--->'''Rune Haako:''' We surrender! Please - you're a Jedi!.\\
'''Vader:''' You fought a war to destroy the Jedi. Congratulations on your success.
--->'''Nute Gunray:''' You can't! Lord Sidious promised we'd be left in peace.\\
'''Vader:''' The transmission was garbled. He promised you'd be left in pieces.
--->'''Shu Mai:''' We were promised a reward, a handsome reward...\\
'''Vader:''' I am your reward; you don't find me handsome?
*** And, like Obi-Wan, the version of Anakin in the [[WesternAnimation/StarWarsTheCloneWars Clone Wars]] animated series is even snarkier.
*** Anakin may have "Taken a Level in Snark" after he became Darth Vader with a healthy dose of menace thrown in. Highlights include his classic "I find your lack of faith disturbing" to the idiot he was force-choking ''[[Film/ANewHope Episode IV]]'' and his line from the sequel: "We would be ''honored'' if you would join us", given to Han and Leia, who he'd just caught in his trap.
** Failing hyperdrive + Princess Leia = instant snark. Actually, a ''lot'' more situations than that. Apparently, she gets it from her father.
** Han Solo, whose snarkiness is most present in ''Film/TheEmpireStrikesBack'':
--->''(the ground of the asteroid they just landed on shakes violently)''\\
'''C-3PO:''' [[CaptainObvious Sir, its quite possible this asteroid is not entirely stable.]]\\
'''Han:''' ''Not entirely stable?'' [[SarcasmMode Well I'm glad you're here to tell us these things.]] Chewie, take the professor in the back and plug him into the hyperdrive.\\
''(the ground shakes again; Leia falls and Han catches her)''\\
'''Leia:''' Let go please.\\
'''Han:''' Don't get excited!\\
'''Leia:''' Captain being held by you isn't ''quite'' enough to get me excited.\\
'''Han:''' Sorry sweetheart... We don't got time for anything else.
*** In ''A New Hope''
--->''[Luke gets shot by the remote.]''\\
'''Han Solo:''' ''[laughs]'' Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.\\
'''Luke Skywalker:''' You don't believe in the Force, do you?\\
'''Han Solo:''' Kid, I've flown from one side of this galaxy to the other. I've seen a lot of strange stuff, but I've never seen anything to make me believe there's one all-powerful Force controlling everything. There's no mystical energy field that controls MY destiny. It's all a lot of simple tricks and nonsense.\\
'''Ben Kenobi:''' ''[gets up and takes a blast helmet]'' I suggest you try it again, Luke. This time, let go your conscious self and act on instinct. ''[puts the helmet on Luke, which covers his eyes]''\\
'''Luke Skywalker:''' ''[confused laugh]'' But with the blast shield down, I can't even see! How am I supposed to fight?\\
'''Ben Kenobi:''' Your eyes can deceive you. Don't trust them. ''[Watches Luke succeed in blocking the lasers]''\\
'''Han Solo:''' I call it luck.\\
'''Ben Kenobi:''' In my experience, there is no such thing as luck.
*** In Episode IV (after he shoots Greedo), "Sorry about the mess," and (after he shoots out an intercom) "Boring conversation anyway." Another gem from Han Solo in Episode VI, on the way to the Sarlacc's Pit while he was half-blind:
--->'''Luke Skywalker''': There's nothing to see. I used to live here, you know.\\
'''Han Solo''': You're gonna die here, you know. Convenient.\\
'''Luke''': Just stick close to Chewie and Lando. I've taken care of everything.\\
'''Han''': [[SarcasmMode Oh. Great.]]
*** A little earlier, when first reunited with "the kid":
--->'''Han:''' How are we doin'?
--->'''Luke:''' Same as always.
--->'''Han:''' That bad, huh?
** C-3PO is something of a snarker in ''A New Hope''.
--->'''C-3PO:''' Just you reconsider playing that message for him!\\
''(R2 beeps a question)''\\
'''C-3PO:''' No, I don't think he likes you at all.\\
''(R2 beeps again)''\\
'''C-3PO:''' No, I don't like you either.\\
...\\
'''C-3PO:''' I would much rather have gone with Master Luke than stay here with you. I don't know what all this trouble is about, but I'm sure it must be your fault.
** You could probably even include [=R2D2=] on this list. While C-3PO is the only one who knows ''exactly'' what he's saying [[SilentSnarker in that odd binary language of his]], the viewers can get a pretty clear idea (through his partner's translations and reactions) and he can seem somewhat sarcastic at times.
*** In the ''[[Literature/NewJediOrder Enemy Lines]]'' 2-parter, we finally get an insight into Artoo's dialogue (albeit an insight done by Creator/AaronAllston, who tends to create a WorldOfSnark in whatever story he writes). The part where Artoo is programmed to insult anyone who queries him may or may not count (depending on whether the programming was responsible for the quality of the insults, or Artoo himself), but after that part of it, Artoo does get one dig in when Threepio asks him how he'd be able to tell direction:
---->'''Artoo:''' [[AC:If you get there within the next eight standard hours, east will be where the sun is.]]
** ''[[Film/TheForceAwakens The Snark Awakens]]'' Poe Dameron seems to be the snarker-in-chief of the sequel trilogy, ''especially'' when he's in extremely dangerous situations. Rey, Finn, and even Kylo Ren get in on the fun occasionally too.
---->'''Poe:''' So who talks first? You talk first? It's just very hard to understand you with all the... Apparatus.
* ''Film/ThirteenDays'': Margaret, the White House operator.
-->'''Commander Ecker''': Commander Ecker
-->'''Margaret''': Commander Ecker , this is the White House Operator. Please hold...
-->'''Commander Ecker''': Shit.
-->'''Margaret''': Honey, you don't know what shit is.
* ''Film/TopGun'': Goose. "The Defense Department regrets to inform you that your sons are dead because they were stupid."
* ''Film/TrueBeliever'': Eddie Dodd, like a lot of characters portrayed by James Woods.
* Bobby Boucher in ''Film/TheWaterboy'', though it isn't immediately apparent behind his squeaky voice and speech impediment.
-->(Bobby reads a note from the Suggestion Box that says "Eat sh** and die!")
-->'''Bobby:''' ...Not exactly what I'd call constructive criticism...

-->(Bobby's mother is deliberately embarrassing him in front of his new girlfriend at dinner)
--> '''Bobby:''' Excuse me ladies, while I go kill myself.

-->(Meaney, a huge defensive end, is called in as a running back in an attempt to neutralize Bobby)
--> '''Meaney:''' Your ass is mine! WHOOOOOOOOO! WHOOOOOOOOOO! WHOOOOOOOO!
--> '''Bobby:''' You sound like a big choo-choo train.
* Applies to David, Rose, and Casey in ''Film/WereTheMillers''.
* Boris Yellnikoff from ''Film/WhateverWorks''.
* Willy Wonka, as portrayed by Creator/GeneWilder in ''Film/WillyWonkaAndTheChocolateFactory'', has elements of this character. The most notable is whenever someone demands he "do something"; his response is a monotone: "Help. Police. Murder."
** During his heroic efforts to save Mike Teavee from his fate: "No. Stop. Don't. Please."
** Creator/JohnnyDepp's version in the newer ''Film/CharlieAndTheChocolateFactory'' also has a few moments like that, as well as Veruca Salt.
** Grandpa Joe delivers much of this, along with bits of GallowsHumor and PungeonMaster, all through the 1971 movie version, at least by the time he and Charlie enter the Wonka factory. Much of this is addressed to Charlie about the other young visitors and/or their accompanying parents.
** When the remaining guests [minus the Gloops] are getting on board Wonka's boat:
-->'''Willy Wonka''': All aboard, everybody.
-->'''Mr. Salt''': Ladies first, and that means Veruca.
-->'''Grandpa Joe''' [to Charlie]: If she's a lady, I'm a Vermicious Knid.
* Barrister Sir Wilfred in ''Film/WitnessForTheProsecution''.
* Andy Knightley and Sam Chamberlain from ''Film/TheWorldsEnd''.
* Bromhead in ''Film/{{Zulu}}'', very much so.
-->'''Chard:''' Don't worry, Miss Witt. The Army doesn't like more than one disaster in a day.
-->'''Bromhead:''' Looks bad in the newspapers and upsets civilians at their breakfasts.
* In ''Film/TheWholeTownsTalking'', Creator/JeanArthur's character is hilariously snarky for most of the movie.
----

* ''Film/{{Hellboy}}'''s father, Trevor Bruttenholm, seemed this way at times. Searching for Nazis on a "deserted" island, he's told, "There's nothing on this island but rocks and sheep." When they find the Nazis, he looks at the officer in charge: "They must be here for the sheep." That must be where HB himself got his snark from.

** In ''Film/JusticeLeague'', Bruce's reaction to meeting [[Comicbook/{{Aquaman}} Arthur Curry]], as the latter has him angrily pinned him up against a wall.

* ''Film/NowYouSeeIt'':

* Wednesday Addams is a snarker ''par excellence'' in both ''Film/TheAddamsFamily'' and ''Film/AddamsFamilyValues

*** Later, after he [[spoiler:[[CrowningMomentOfAwesome takes out General Grievous with precision blaster-fire]] ]]Obi-Wan discards the blaster simply saying "So uncivilized." (This is [[CallForward a reference to his earlier (later?) line]] in ''Episode IV'' about the lightsaber being "elegant weapon, of a more civilized age" and being "not as clumsy or random as a blaster" and it is made even funnier in the book. He spends a moment thinking of the absolute worst word in his vocabulary, a real crusher. "Uncivilized" is what he came up with.

* Margo in ''Film/AllAboutEve''. "Fasten your seatbelts, everybody, it's going to be a bumpy night!" Addison perhaps even more so. Come on, he has "wit" in his last name!

*** Anakin may have "Taken a Level in Snark" after [[spoiler: he became Darth Vader]] with a healthy dose of menace thrown in. Highlights include his classic "I find your lack of faith disturbing" to the idiot he was force-choking ''[[Film/ANewHope Episode IV]]'' and his line from the sequel: "We would be ''honored'' if you would join us", given to Han and Leia, who he'd just caught in his trap.

*** In Episode IV [[spoiler: (after he shoots Greedo)]], "Sorry about the mess," and (after he shoots out an intercom) "Boring conversation anyway." Another gem from Han Solo in Episode VI, on the way to the Sarlacc's Pit while he was half-blind:

* IntrepidReporter Alexander Knox in ''Film/{{Batman}}'', who snarks at the local government's constant denials of Batman's existence, even as it becomes more and more obvious. He's even not afraid to snark at a mob boss.

* In ''Film/StarTrek 2009'', Captain Kirk fills this role with a [[LargeHam side of ham]]. Bones [=McCoy=] also gets in a few, but Bones was always a DeadpanSnarker. It's one reason for his fanbase.