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Lt. Gen. Mackenzie Hawkins
Mac is a senior military officer who distinguished himself in the Second World War, but is finding it hard to adjust to a post-war milieu. His desecration of a Peking monument kick-starts the events of the novel.
- All-American Face: Subverted Trope, since despite his patriotism, all his plans go against the US government.
- Awesomeness by Analysis: After getting his hands on sensitive intelligence files, he finds connections that unearth blackmail material on shadowy figures with deep pockets.
- The Chessmaster: Devises most of the plans in the novel, manipulating both friend and foe alike.
- Cigar Chomper: For Mac, a few chews is a prerequisite to smoking them.
- A Father to His Men: Gives his subordinates the training they need to succeed, inspiring fervent loyalty towards him.
- Forgiven, but Not Forgotten: Downplayed Trope. When his subordinates catch Sam trying to bribe them away, Mac stops them from killing Sam. He acknowledges Sam's role in freeing him in China and warns him not to interfere any more, but still remains on speaking terms.
- Four-Star Badass: A three-star Lieutenant General still capable of combat tactics despite his age.
- Hidden Depths: Beneath his brash exterior is a keen mind capable of outwitting any foe.
- Hot-Blooded: How he acts most of the time.
- Thrill Seeker: Lives for action, going to help free Native Americans at the conclusion of the novel.
Maj. Sam Deveraux
Sam is a US Army judge advocate close to finishing off his service term, with a job lined up at a prestigious Boston law firm.
- Beleaguered Assistant: He carries out the financial aspects of Mac's plans and puts up with the ensuing shenanigans.
- Distracted by the Sexy: Drawn to the chests of Mac's former wives, even remembering them by their shape. Madge is "Full and Round", Lillian is "Narrow and Pointed", and Anne is "Sloping yet Argumentative".
- Got Volunteered: Drawn away from his future lawyer position due to Mac's scheming.
- Out-Gambitted: Tries to sabotage Mac's plan to kidnap the Pope, but gets foiled at every turn and eventually discovered.
- Really Gets Around: Beds a lot of women in the novel, aside from Mac's ex-wives.
- Trading Bars for Stripes: After being censured for illegal evidence, he takes the choice of serving a term as judge advocate instead of prison.
Regina Greenberg
Mac's ex-wife.
- Brainy Brunette: Among the smartest of Mac's ex-wives.
- Overly Long Name: Has kept all the names of her ex-husbands.
- Southern Belle: With the accent to match.
- Top Ex-Wife: Has the leadership role in Mac's ex-wife group.
Madge
Mac's 3rd wife, a native of New York state.
- Nice Girl: Dotes on Sam during his time with her.
- Taught by Experience: Her dealings in the Middle East and North Africa have given her experience in navigating Arabic customs.
Anne
Mac's 1st wife, originally from Detroit
- Bookworm: Always seen with a book.
- Hooker with a Heart of Gold: Later revealed to have been a prostitute, with a caring personality and passion for self-improvement that Mac found infatuating.
- The Philosopher: The most introspective of Mac's ex-wives.
Pope Francesco I
Giovanni Bombalini is the current supreme pontiff and head of the Catholic Church.
- Arch-Enemy: Cardinal Ignatio Quartze, who opposes his policies and gets mockery from the Vicar of Christ in turn.
- Bookworm: Steadily builds up Encyclopaedic Knowledge from childhood, allowing his ascent through the Church.
- Chubby Chef: While not employed in the culinary industry, he has a passion for cooking and a stocky build due to his peasant origins.
- Nice Guy: Gets along with nearly every character he interacts with, and is known for taking up the cause of the less fortunate.
- Secretly Dying: Later diagnosed with terminal illness, but gets better due to Healthy Country Air.
- Strong Family Resemblance: To his cousin Guido Frescobaldi, with which he undergoes a Twin Switch later on in the novel.
