Awesome / The Sacred Diary of Adrian Plass

  • Any time Frank Braddock takes the wind out of the sanctimonious Mrs. Flushpool's sail.
    Mrs. Flushpool: "Well, Mr. Braddock, and are you one of the elect?"
    Braddock: "Madam, I am a member of the M.C.C."
    Mrs. Flushpool: "And what, pray, is the M.C.C.?"
    Braddock: "The Marylebone Cricket Club, madam."
    Mrs. Flushpool: "And may I ask, Mr. Braddock, how membership of this club will be of assistance to you when you stand before the judgment seat, and things of the natural are of no account?"
    Braddock: "My M.C.C. membership card, Madam, guarantees me, at any time, and at all times, admission to the Lords Enclosure."
    Mrs. Flushpool: "Mr. Braddock, would you message not be more convincing if you were to abstain from strong drink and noxious substances, such as tobacco? Stenneth and I neither drink nor smoke. Scripture issues grave warnings on these matters!"
    Braddock: "Ah, scripture! Scripture certainly does warn that those whose strong faith allows them freedom in these things, must be careful not to harm those of a weaker faith who have abstained altogether. My dear Mrs. Flushpool, if my drinking or my smoking is tempting you unbearably, I shall never drink or smoke in front of you again."