In stereotypical depictions, Canada basically consists of six distinct parts:
- Toronto: Basically Chicago but cleaner — or as Peter Ustinov put it, "New York run by the Swiss." Serves as Canada's own Big Applesauce in domestic productions and as a cheap stand-in for the original in American ones. Not actually the national capital, despite the fact many foreigners think it is. It's actually the provincialnote capital of Ontario. The CN Tower is its emblem. Toronto had a crack-smoking mayor named Rob Ford. Toronto even has its own subway system with an abandoned station used primarily for film shoots.
- The Other Rainforest: Filled with Mountain Men, including Mighty Lumberjacks and Hunter Trappers. Also expect to see treacherous Indian Maidens (who are often Nubile Savages), moose, and beavers. Everyone here wears flannel and furs and is named Pierre. If an urban environment shows up here, it's Vancouver, but you'll never see it, because it never plays itself.
- The prairie, which has wheat. Lots of wheat. Barns in flat fields of wheat. Grain elevators in fields of wheat. Also some trees and lakes, and quirky small towns where you can stop for gas, beer, and maybe a curling rink. And then more wheat.
- The Atlantic region: Basically Maine but even colder. Full of lobsters, Scottish people, and fishermen clad in yellow raincoats with funny accents falling somewhere between Irish, Scottish, and Pirate.
- Quebec, Full of artsy, ill-tempered, stuck up francophones who believe English is tongue of the devil (unless you're in Montreal) and hate the people in the other parts of North America and the people in France (due to their language differences, no less). Abandoned by France in favor of the Caribbean, but who wouldn't, ostie de tabarnac? Typically hated by northern New Englanders, who see them as more pretentious and annoying than "Mass-holes" or "Yorkers". Montrealers love fancy, French haute cuisine, fashion, and nightlife, including dance clubs and strip clubs.
- The Arctic, full of igloos, playful polar bears, and parka-wearing Inuit riding around on dog sleds, quite possibly penguins and maybe even yetis, and of course cute little baby seals... at least until the polar bears and people find them.
Keep in mind that portrayals of Canada have no West Coast (besides ALL of British Columbia) and no mild winters (except for Vancouver). The warm weather stops right about at the border (unless it presents a passport).
For more simple-minded types, Canada consists of two parts:
- Toronto: Icy hellhole. Full of maple syrup, French people, moose, beavers, Mounties (who are Paul Gross clones) and people who say "eh."
- Not Toronto: Icier hellhole. More syrup, French people, moose, beavers, Mounties (again, clones) and people who say "eh." And frequently called Medicine Hat, Moose Jaw, Flin Flon, Dildo, Swastika, Asbestos, and so on.
