A Toadally Magical Adventure
We start off in the sky, as we see a building made out of clouds with a sign reading “Ace Magic Wand Factory. A new wand made every century.” An extremely nerdy-looking mushroom citizen walks in and is handed a wand specially made for his Wizard King. All the other wands we've seen to this point look spherical at the end, but this one seems to be made of crystal and is roughly octagonal. A big ol' bearded mushroom guy puts the wand in a wood case and hands it to the nerdy dude. Nerdy guy then steps on what I guess is a trapdoor, because the floor falls out from under him. The wizard in question is watching all this through his magic ball thingy and says he's been waiting for this wand for fifty years. I should also mention that this guy looks human. The crystal ball then shows him Cheatsy, his dad and a few of his siblings watching the delivery guy. Koopa of course wants the wand.
At Toad's house we see Mario doing some plumbing. Toad seems to have a plugged tub that's filled with grey bathwater. The wizard guy then appears in the bathwater, causing Luigi to exclaim that he's the Wizard King of the West. The wizard warns of the Koopa attack, but before he can finish telling them where this is going down, Toad hops up to get a better view and knocks Mario's wrench, causing the water to drain. Well, at least the plumbing is done. Actually Toad comes up with the same remark. He also insists he knows where the mugging is going to happen because he recognized a waterfall in the message.
Mario, Luigi, Toad and Toadstool arrive on the scene to find the nerd being chased by the Koopas. Mario hits a music note block and grabs the fire flower inside to change. Then he bombards the Koopas with enough fireballs to make them retreat into a lake. Back at Toad's house, everyone is happy that the wand is safe. However, Toad wants to open the box and take a peek, but everyone tells him no, only a wizard can use it safely. The Wizard King is watching on his crystal ball and decides to go after the wand himself. Either he suspects bad things are-a-coming, or he read ahead in the script. Either way, he walks out of his cloud castle, hops on his giant snail named Lightning Bolt, and heads out to get his wand.
Back at Toad's house, Toad is left alone with the wand. Why they left it with him I don't know. Toad soon decides to ignore the warnings and opens the box to pick up the wand. He immediately uses the wand to bring random household objects to life, because it's the responsible thing to do. Not satisfied, he heads outside and finds a pile of assorted pipes in his yard. Why they are there I don't know. Toad uses the wand to assemble them into two pipe creatures, a blue one and a purple one. Then he orders them to dance and begins yelling at them. He's had the wand less than a minute and already all the power has gone to his fat head. The blue pipe monster grabs the wand from Toad, to the surprise of no one but Toad. He, or rather it, then uses the wand to bring a bunch of blocks to life, which immediately begin hoping around. Mario and Luigi then walk out of Toad's house. Wait, so they were there the whole time? And are only now just noticing something's wrong? Maybe they had more work to do in the bathroom.
Mario notices the blocks are trying to squash Toad specifically. He also mentions that Toadstool is in the house taking a nap. Really? Does she regularly come over to Toad's place to nap? Mario grabs Toad and runs away with Luigi behind them. They come to a cliff and jump off. All the blocks then leap off too. However they don't land on the small ledge just beneath the clifftop like the brothers did, and instead fall all the way to the bottom. Koopa and his kids then arrive on the scene with a pair of boomerang brothers. Using their boomerangs, the brothers knock the wand out of the pipe creature's hand and Koopa grabs it. He has it for a few seconds before Kootie Pie decides it's her wand now and grabs it out of his hands. Then she keeps shouting “mine!” for a little bit. This is enough to awaken Toadstool, and due to an animation error, Toad is standing next to her as she walks out of the house. Kootie uses the wand to make Toad's white picket fence into an impenetrable wall. Toad and the Marios arrive, causing Bully to grab the wand from his sister and order the pipe creatures to grab three of them and begin juggling them. Then Cheatsy grabs the wand and uses it to make a tiny nipper into a giant, though he mistakenly calls it a piranha plant. The nipper tries to eat Mario, but he escapes the pipe creature's grasp just before the nipper tires to eat him, causing the nipper to bite down on the blue pipe creature. Mario then grabs a wrench and uses it to remove the arm of the purple pipe creature. Now free, Toad admits to playing with the wand and apologizes for all the trouble he's caused.
We now get a montage set to the tune “I'm a Hurricane.” We'll hear this song again in a later episode, but this version of the song is missing the chorus. Mario and Luigi get grabbed by the pipe creatures again while Toad runs off. Cheatsy grabs the wand and uses it to send the picket fence after Toad, but he narrowly misses. In the shot with the spell being cast on the fence you can see Toad and Toadstool standing in the doorway to the house, even though Toad is clearly supposed to be elsewhere. Toad eventually finds the blocks from before and gets them to chase him. Bully grabs the wand from Cheatsy and commands the nipper to attack Toad as he runs towards everybody. Toad gets out of the way at the last second and the blocks then smash the nipper flat. Toad runs up to the Koopas, but they're not happy about being next to him with a mountain of blocks out for his head. Meanwhile, Mario hits another note block and gets a leaf, turning him into raccoon Mario and allowing him to fly free of the blue pipe monster. He then flies by and picks up Toad. Koopa's had enough and grabs the wand from Bully, but Toad then snatches it out of his hand. Just then the Wizard King arrives on his snail and uses his magic to rip the wand out of Toad's hands. Then he turns the pipe creatures into two big hands that grab the Koopas up and drops them in a warp pipe in the sky. So, the crisis is averted and the wizard has his wand so he can roast weenies with it. No, I'm not making that up. He waited fifty years to have a powerful magic wand built just so he could roast weenies.
The Big Game
Our episode starts with an establishing shot of Megaland, AKA where Mega Man is from. It looks like a few big balls and assorted objects with giant rings surrounding them. We're told Wily is working on a new invention in Skull Castle, but we don't see anything that looks remotely like a skull. Inside, we see the doctor's invention, a power vacuum. Not a powerful vacuum cleaner, but a vacuum that sucks up power. Specifically “competition energy,” which is generated by playing games. Wily calls on Metalman to demonstrate. Metalman looks nothing like he does in the games, but he does look like someone you might name Metalman. He's got Metalman's circular blade on his forehead and shoulders. He starts shooting metal blades at Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo while we see Wily's device apparently filling up with energy. His device looks like a couple of big glass containers hooked up to a strength tester machine you see at the fair. Wily wants to use the machine to suck up the N Team's energy and mentions something about an earthquake zone.
At the Palace of Power, Kevin is looking despondent because he's homesick. Mega Man then skateboards in an uses surfer talk, hopefully because he's trying to simulate Californian culture and not because he thinks it's cool. Mega Man gives Kevin the skateboard and calls him “Mondo-nose.” Kevin shows his appreciation by skateboarding on the wall, then Lana wants to try. Wily is watching this on his TV thingie, then walks onto what seems to be a set of some kind, complete with a robot dressed up like a lifeguard who shouts “Gag me with a spoon!” Meanwhile, Lana skates right into Simon and the pair land on the couch right in front of the TV. She must have hit him pretty hard, because there are two Lanas on the couch. The channel changes from a band playing a song, to an ad featuring Wily's stereotypical robot chick. She talks about how great California Games Land is using the most Totally Radical language possible. She announces that she'll give away tickets to California Games Land if someone can tell her which is California’s most radical valley. When Kevin answers the San Fernando Valley, the robot says he's right, compliments Kevin and switches back to the band while the TV spits out a bunch of tickets. So are all TVs capable of two way communication? And how often would you use the ticket printing function? Wily laughs about how great his plan is, then hops into a warp zone with a small army of robots.
On the beach, the N Team arrives and Kevin is ecstatic. We then move into a montage of everyone participating in various sports with generic beach music playing. However, under the hot dog stand, evil is brewing, and I'm not talking about the wieners. Wily is collecting energy from the N Team and states that soon he'll have enough energy to open warp zones to anywhere in Videoland, then he'll send the N Team to the earthquake zone. So I guess there's an entire world dedicated to just earthquakes? He then sics a bunch of his robots on the N Team. First up is a pair of robot clowns on bicycles who pass Kevin and Lana as they ride their bikes. After a scene of Wily congratulating himself on a plan that actually works, we see Mega Man and Game Boy skating, (though how Game Boy can skate without legs is another matter,) and watch as they are attacked by flying robots. It seems the N Team is not having fun with the robots constantly pestering them, so they stop playing, meaning phase two of Wily's plan did exactly the opposite of what he wanted.
Now we take a turn for the “this doesn't make sense anymore.” Wily uses his warp zone generator to open a warp zone. But not to the earthquake warp like he planned, oh no. He's opening a warp to someplace else. Kevin and the others see Wily bring in part of Kevin's old school, Northridge High. Specifically the gym and football field. So Wily somehow opened a warp to the real world, something that has only ever been done once before, and that was in the opening episode and performed by warp zone explicitly stated to be more powerful than any force in Videoland. This should be nigh impossible or at least very difficult to do but the script says it happens so it does.
Kevin and company arrive on the scene, and they see three football players and one cheerleader, the latter of whom recognizes Kevin as a video game whiz who helped her study for an algebra test. The girl, Stacy, gets his name wrong though. And since a pretty girl is about, Simon has to show off for her. Kevin identifies one of the football goons as Rick Walker, captain of the football team, while Rick in turn points out that Kevin was on the junior varsity swim team. That's where Kevin's famous jacket comes from by the way, and the N stands for Northridge High, not Nintendo. After some talking, a group of three Kaminari Goro from Mega Man 2 appear and start shooting at them. Or maybe it's just one, since they seem to all be joined together. Kevin dives and saves Rick from some lasers before shooting down the pests. A robot dog, called a friender, then rushes on the scene, spitting fireballs and causing everyone to retreat inside the gym.
Back at Metroid, Mother Brain isn't satisfied with the job Wily's doing, (she's never satisfied with anything it seems,) and mounts her tank on a three wheel motorcycle, deciding to take maters into her own, uh, tentacles. Inside the gym, Rick and his friends are told they're inside a video game, which they don't believe, though Stacy swoons over Kevin, making Lana jealous. Wily then appears as a giant hologram in the sky and after everyone has walked outside to talk to him he challenges the N Team to a contest for the Palace of Power. Kevin decides he's not an idiot this episode and says no. Wily responds by sicking a pair of helicopter baddies on the group, causing them to rush back inside. While inside, Simon gets into an argument with a blonde-haired guy named Romeo. It quickly becomes apparent the two have the same personality. They also both try to impress the girls. A flyboy flies in and shoots at the two until Kid Icarus shoots the thing with a net arrow, causing it to fall into a conveniently placed trash can. The football players don't take kindly to the natives acting like Kevin should be in charge, but Rick decides to follow Kevin's lead. Kevin then decides to accept Wily's challenge, so long as they play football.
At the sinister hot dog stand, Mother Brain arrives to nag Wily, who lays out a plan that is completely different from the one he had before. Now he wants to shut down every warp zone in the game world except the one in the hot dog stand, allowing the bad guys to leave while the N Team remain trapped in California Games Land forever, or at least until they go by the hot dog stand. Wily and Momma B arrive at the gym to call out the N Team, while inside Lana turns down an opportunity to be a cheerleader so she can go see what Dr Wily's master plan is. The N Team and friends walk out and challenge Wily to football. Wily accepts and brings out the robot masters from Mega Man 2. For the most part they don't look like they're supposed to, but they do look like what their names suggest. Woodman is clearly made of wood. Airman clearly blows. Air that is. Oh, and for whatever reason Flashman is completely absent. Maybe the writers thought his power was flashing people?
Stacy cheers, while Game Boy spells out N Team in flashing letters. On the bad guys' side, Wily and Mother Brain are accompanied in the stands by a group of random creatures that I've never seen before nor seem to be from any game.
As the game starts, we get to hear “Having a Ball” while watching a montage of football. After that's done, Kevin decides to get more power and sends Mega Man to get some equipment from Dr. Right. Yeah, you heard. Dr. Right. With all the other stuff this show gets wrong are you really surprised they used that spelling of his name? At the hot dog stand of evil, Lana throws a frisbee to distract the friender guarding it, then slips inside. She finds Wily's machine and starts fiddling with it.
Back at the football game, the N Team and friends are cheating, as they use flying disks and the giant legs Sniper Joes sometimes use in Mega Man 2. Mother Brain is not happy that the N Team is now winning, but Wily declares he now has enough energy for his plan to work. Now the question is, which plan is he talking about? Wily blows a whistle and he leaves with Momma B and his robot masters. As Mother Brain rides towards the hot dog stand, a bolt of energy zaps her and she drives in circles around the hot dog stand for a short while before it seemingly explodes and takes all the baddies with it. The good guys use their noses to determine that she and her cronies wound up at the landfill warp zone. The gym starts to get all wavy and Lana appears out of nowhere to tell them the football guys are going home. She doesn't explain how she was able to reprogram Wily's machine to do anything though. Everybody says their goodbyes and the gym returns back to the real world with Stacy and the football players. Lana then says that they won't remember any of it because everyone who goes back to the real world forgets all about Videoland. How does she know that? You've never had anyone from the real world go back home before. She then points out that Kevin seemed to like Stacy but Kevin says he likes Lana better.
Misadventures in Babysitting
We begin this episode with an ordinary human family in the “Real World.” The parents are getting ready for a night on the town and the mother is waiting for the babysitter to show up. Dad thinks maybe Junior’s reputation may have scared off this babysitter. As the mom defends Junior's behavior, we see the kid break a vase and blame it on the cat. Just then, the Mario Brothers arrive in a small confined space that turns out to be under the kitchen sink. Pretty sure you can't fit a warp pipe under your sink. Mario spots the Brooklyn Bridge outside the window, confirming they are in fact in Brooklyn. The mom walks into the kitchen and assumes the pair are the babysitters. Mario is going to protest, but when the mom says they can help themselves to lasagna in the fridge, Mario accepts the job. Mom and Dad leave, telling the brothers to make sure Junior has a bath.
Junior wants to play hide-and-seek, so the brothers close their eyes and start counting. Junior decides to hide under the sink and without comment crawls into the warp pipe. I'd like to point out that the warp pipe is on its side, when earlier we saw the brothers fall down out of the pipe into Brooklyn. Continuity! Junior arrives in the Mushroom Kingdom, and for some reason is not at all surprised to find himself in an unknown land. He is immediately attacked by a pack of boomerang brothers, but Junior catches a boomerang and throws in through a tree, causing it to fall on the boomerang brothers. Just as he says that he hopes the Mario brothers never find him, Kooky, Bully and Cheatsy arrive on the scene to hear his declaration. I'd like to take this opportunity to point out the Marios never mentioned their names so Junior wouldn't know to call them the Mario Brothers. Kooky identifies Junior as a “Real Worlder.” The trio approaches Junior and he asks the three who they are and where he is. After pausing for a little too long they tell him he's in the Mushroom Kingdom and introduce themselves. They say that they don't like the Marios either, and they decide to team up to cause some trouble.
Mario and Luigi arrive via warp pipe, after presumably searching the whole house. At least I hope they searched the house first. They hear Junior’s fake cries for help and chase after his voice. I have to confess something. At about this point in the episode, many years ago, I accidentally hit the record button while I was watching this. As a result, part of the episode has been taped over with a Sesame Street sketch wherein Kermit the Frog tries in vain to find Peter Piper for an interview. If you want you can watch it here.
The Marios run right into a ptooie plant, but they pick up some conveniently placed sticks and smack the plant's spiked balls back at it. The brothers continue onwards to the foot of what looks like to be a cross between a volcano and a pyramid. They see Junior get grabbed by Bully and dragged inside. After they enter, a cave-in separates the brothers from Bully, Cheatsy and Junior while Kooky rolls a boulder covering the entrance. Suddenly Kooky is inside the mountain where the other three are. He then turns the valve on a complicated series of pipes and the chamber the Marios are in starts to fill with lava. When Junior asks what Kooky is doing he says “I'm filling up the cave up with lava silly. What does it look like?” This is too much mischief for Junior, however the Koopas aren't done with him yet and drag him out of the mountain before throwing him down a warp pipe.
Junior winds up in a pool of water, climbs out and runs into some thwomps, boos and a boom-boom. Now he's had enough and wants to go home. Back with the Marios, they hop on top of stones to try and keep above the lava. Mario pulls a hammer and chisel out of a toolbox that he now magically has, and digs his way right out of the side of the volcano. They turn a corner and see the Koopas, now standing outside, but next to the set of pipes they used back when they were inside the volcano. They're gloating about how they screwed over the kid. Mario and Luigi then hop down a warp pipe and begin traversing the cave system. They encounter a boom-boom and defeat it with some cartwheels that end with Luigi bouncing Mario into the air and on the boom-boom's head. After Luigi scares off a couple of boos with a scary face, the brothers find Junior.
Outside, the Koopas are ready to turn up the heat, as they have a fire hose sticking down another warp pipe. Only this hose gushes lava instead of water. As the caves fill up with lava we get another rendition of “Without Getting Burned,” this time being longer and with two verses. It's actually a pretty good song, even if it's cheesy as hell. During the chaos, we see several baddies get out of the way of the rising lava. Mario and Luigi grab a couple of leaves, sprout raccoon tails, and fly Junior up and out of the caves. Unfortunately, the volcano is now ready to erupt. Specifically, it's going to erupt out of a pipe that's situated on the very tip top of the mountain. The brothers quickly construct a catapult out of a tree, and launch a boulder into the air. The boulder lands right in the pipe, plugging it. Now if you think this would only make the problem worse, since pressure would now build up under the boulder and create an even worse explosion, you'd be wrong because the writers clearly don't know how volcanoes work. With the volcano problem solved, the Marios quickly rush back to Junior's house and throw him into a bath, clothes and all, just as his parents arrive. The mom is so happy that they actually got Junior to take a bath that she wants them to babysit again on Friday.
There are a ton of instances of people snatching the wand in “Toadally Magical Adventure” and doing random magic with it, so at least the episode is lively if nothing else. It's Toad's turn to carry the Idiot Ball in this episode and he holds onto it hard. “The Big Game” is filled with problems, as Wily can't decide what his plan is, and is able to casually break the one hard and fast rule the show has. The Ultimate Warp Zone is the only way to the real world. And the episode ends with Lana pulling a new rule about real world travel out of thin air. Although I have to admit it was fun watching everyone play football, as contrived as the set-up is. “Misadventures in Babysitting” is about the Brooklyn bambinos becoming baleful babysitters for a bratty belligerent boy, and I have no particularly strong feelings for it one way or the other.
