[[Continued from part 1]]
And with enough ponies gone, we end the dinner, skipping to later that night as AJ takes a walk outside, unable to sleep. Trying to figure out what's been bugging her, why she can't sleep well. Her musings interrupted by Rarity. Who, when asked why she isn't with Fluttershy, replies she simply waiting her turn to use the washroom first, since Curacao was currently using it.
Wait, they have been gone from dinner long enough for AJ to realize she couldn't sleep, and yet Curacao is STILL in the washroom? Rarity hasn't battered down the door? Something fishy is going on here. (Yes yes we know the truth, but, even then, the timing just feels really really off. No where near enough time for AJ to finish eating, go to her room, lay down, and realize she couldn't sleep. Or the opening is worded wrong and she simply didn't feel like going to bed, not "couldn't sleep" other then in the fact she knows she's had troubles lately.)
Rarity had heard from Insipid that AJ was out here alone and got worried....
Wow, that line.... it is so damn bad and just, yeah really could never see Rarity saying something like that. Someone whose trying to talk like the Mane 6 might be thought to sound maybe. (Yes yes, you wouldn't be reading this thing if you didn't already know who this really was.)
'Rarity' making a few nice comments about Curacao, and how she's sure that her and AJ would be able to get along so well together. Before moving the topic to what she really came to discuss, AJ and Flathoof. AJ warning her to stop, that she didn't want to talk about. Bringing up the CMC's little issue with their attempts at shipping and asking if Rarity didn't learn her lesson from that. (To which the obvious answer is, hell no.)
And a bunch of awkward attempts at AJ to get Rarity to pull her nose out of AJ's business later, she just tells her, No. There isn't anything between her and Flathoof. A statement that seems to make Rarity quite grateful. Much to AJ's puzzlement.
Rarity leads her through some questions till AJ realizes something that, well even without seeing him, everypony else, including the readers.. hell especially the readers, already saw. How much he looks and acts like Big Mac. And while AJ does admit it now that she sees it, she doesn't see how that matters. Though Rarity saying that, well, if she goes around hooking up with somepony so close to her brother, well then ponies might think that AJ was simply taking the next best thing to a stallion she really wanted but couldn't have. AJ of course getting more and more pissed off by the sentence. Constantly going between "It's nopony else business so butt out." and "I don't have any feelings, so shut up."
Well seems Rarity isn't done, since AJ seemed quite sure that she wasn't harboring any feelings at all towards Flathoof, then, well it's a good thing, since not only that but, it was so totally obvious that he had the hots for some other pony. Tick Tock. Which just pisses AJ off even more, but, totally not because she had feelings for him.
And, that is just masterful, that one little phrase, and you can so mess with AJ's head right now. Yeah she's 'Honesty' but, she does have issues with it. Not when dealing with others, no she's always honest and truthful in that. Her issue is with being honest with herself. accepting her own feelings, her own limitations. And not in a conscious way either. So dealing with emotions like this, she's so confused, so unsure, and can't even really tell herself exactly what she wants. But, she's so set on being honest and truthful, that she feels she needs to stick by what she says, even if she isn't sure.
Her job done 'Rarity' heads off, saying Curacao should be done with her bath by now. Just in time for Flathoof to show up looking for AJ. With AJ acting way to passive aggressively bitchy to him. Thinking about what a shit he is for leading her on. For hooking up with Tick Tock, but doing so secretly, being so good at hiding it, and deceiving everypony, that nopony at all even suspected, aside from Rarity. That pissing her off all the more, that it meant he was SO good a lying, he could do that.
Well, he came looking at her to tell her that Twilight was looking for her. She wanted AJ to come talk over their planned route and help decide what they needed to stock up on for the next leg of their trip. AJ heading off, still acting like a bitch to Flathoof.
Alright, well I danced around it, really don't like spoilers, but hinted at it enough already might as well say it. Yes that was Curacao the whole time. And, looking back, going through this, it shows. She did do a rather good job of imitating Rarity, except for motivation. Rarity, would have no reason to talk to AJ about this, or feel that way, or do this. We've seen what a hardcore shipper she is. No way she'd pass up the chance to do some more. And this time, a paring that makes sense and doesn't make me want to slam her head into a computer monitor playing a loop of Hearts and Hooves Day till she gets the point. (Thank you for reminding me of another reason her whole shipping thing is even stupider. )
There were a few lines that were just.. off. Not enough to make it clear this isn't her, but ones that just sounded a bit odd. Phrases, general attitude, it was close but, yes there was some slight differences, again, mostly in motivation and reason.
And what it leads to? Now, well looky here, ANOTHER thing from the story I don't really like. Though this one, is one of the most minor of my issues. It does make a tad bit of sense at least, AJ just takes it to far, for to long. Mostly, I just don't like it simply because the entire thing is one massive Poor Communication Kills plot. All it would take is AJ to stop being a passive aggressive bitch to Flathoof, just talk to him, and issue solved. Or, you know stop and think about how him and Tick Tock makes no sense. Granted she does get to that point, but only till it's gone on far to long.
Now, it's minor, because I CAN, somewhat, understand her reasons. why she did it. And really the story did a great job of making it mostly work. She's to upset right now, to broken hearted to really think about anything involving him clearly. My only real issue with this subplot is again, it takes her way to long to figure out the truth. It was actually a pretty well done use of a trope I freaking hate. Just, got stretched out a tad to much.
Also points to Curacao for knowing JUST how to hit her. Not only make her doubt herself. But, also did it, while at the same time helping to drive a wedge further between the Mane 6, and the three other native ponies. Make them more likely to have to rely on the Mean 6 instead. Of the 6, Curacao is by FAR the best one at the corrupting. The one who REALLY knows how to do it, and do it well. The rest, are either incompetent at it, to the point I REALLY do not get how the fuck the mane 6 they worked on was that fooled for that long. WAY longer then they should have been. Or, simply were dealing with a pony that really didn't need that much work.
And over to Fluttershy waking up. Panicking a bit and being somewhere new, not remembering anything after the sting.
Yes, Twi's friends do know her all to well.
Many questions begin going through her mind, the usual "Where an I? How did I get here? Where's everypony else?" Stuff like that, before we she hears somepony snoring. Trying to move and only feeling pain, unable to move anything beyond her neck and head but turning those enough to find Lockwood passed out in a chair. Glad she wasn't alone, but worried about where everypony else was. The door opening just as she thought that.
That, just does not feel like Fluttershy. I get the story wants us to get the Mane 6 have issues with Tick Tock, don't fully trust her but, that's a bit much it just, feels... not like Fluttershy. Especially given the first thing Tick Tock does is come sit next to her, asking how she is, and using her magic to help deal with some of the burning pain she was feeling from the after effects of the venom. Then proceeding to fill her in on what was going on.
Fluttershy was aghast at the learning the creature was dead, assuming her friends killed it before Tick Tock explains that... somehow.. for some reason... a Gargantuan kills itself when it stings something. That, makes no sense at all. Because, it's venom is it's blood? Okay, it's injecting it's blood into something. And yet as powerful as it's venom seemed to be, nopony seemed to have any issues smashing them to bits and Red flat out eating them. Or at least licking the blood off herself. So, that's one strike. Then, even IF we accept that. How does that kill it? Tick Tock mentions honeybees, and yeah, they die if they sting. Because the sting is barbed and so gets caught in the wound, and they end up pulling out some of their guts as they pull away, mortally wounding themselves. This didn't happen here, and if it's just, well it's bleeding out. The size of a Gargantuan, versus a pony, and the rather small amount of blood it could have injected into Fluttershy makes no sense that that should kill it.
So yeah really don't buy this, and the whole thing makes no sense to me as explained.
Fluttershy meanwhile is simply unable to believe that she was stung, that an animal could attack her. Trying to get up and leave rather then hear Tick Tock talk about it like it was a monster, though to weak to do so. Eventually, it gets through to her that this happened, since it's the only way to explain her lose of memory, her pain, everything. Finally asking just what makes the Gargantuans like they are. The answer to which is simply centuries of exposure to high levels of chaos magic. Mutating them from large, though fairly docile creatures. Into ravenous monsters. And seems that their main food source out here in the wastes, is each other. making the whole "Sting and die" thing even dumber. Since the reason a bee would have something like that, is each bee doesn't matter. It's the hive as a whole, and the bee is killing itself in service, and trying to defend, the Hive. But these things, kill anything, they kill each other to eat. For the right to mate. The females kill the males after mating, then, for some reason, die after laying eggs in the male corpse. The young kill each other to get the most food after they hatch. All of this horrifying Fluttershy.
That, might just,... and even without the Mean 6 working on her, we see her getting her first major blow to her ego. Her sense of self. And, already having cracks for Havoc to exploit later. Nice.
Tick Tock says Pewter has some soup ready for her. And vetos getting the rest of the mane 6, telling Fluttershy it was late, and she needed her rest. She could see them, and the new ponies, in the morning. And that unlike her. Fluttershy should have no issue making new friends with them. She agrees to tell Rarity while she fetches the soup, walking off. Lockwood waking soon after and starting to rush to tell Rarity she was up, Fluttershy letting him know Tick Tock already was.
The two have some nice chatting. Lockwood just trying to cheer her up, and working. Though the mood is brought down a bit for me by Fluttershy thinking Rarity was right about him. Gaaahhh.. though to be fair, this part I DO like, it feels natural. Lockwood isn't trying to flirt with her, make a move, even impress her. Simply talk to her, keep her company, cheer her up. And, she's simply responding normally, realizing she likes talking to him, that he his nice and fun to talk to. If it was just this in their "relationship" I could deal with it, and maybe even like it, since it echoes the AJ/Flathoof one, which just got derailed for the next way to freaking long. Maybe that's another reason I dislike their issues. Because it removes the GOOD relationship, while the horrible one just gets more and more prominent. Anyway back to the point. The biggest issue with this one, aside from the really freaking horrible end result of it, is just how fucking HARD Rarity pushes it, and pushes it, and pushes it. GAAAHHHH!!
Lockwood raised an eyebrow. “Wait, you read that magazine?”
Fluttershy turned pink. “Oh... w-we have that in our world t-too.” That made Lockwood’s eyebrow raise further. “N-not that there’s much to read.” Lockwood’s eyebrow threatened to disappear into his mane. “Uh... I mean, R-Rarity has a subscription, but she says she only reads it f-for the articles. I may have... g-glanced in them once or twice.”
“I see...” Lockwood coughed into his hoof. “Well, uh, since you don’t really read it, I don’t suppose I should be asking you if I’d qualify... should I.”
“W-well like I said, I d-don’t read them myself...”
“But you said you’ve at least peeked once or twice, right?” Lockwood winked. “C’mon, you’ve got to be able to tell me I have an impressive... I dunno, wingspan or something.”
Okay, that's good. And it even starts to give Fluttershy a wingboner, if her wings weren't pinned by the jacket. Lockwood notices her attention, though makes a joke about her simply trying to get a good look at his cutie mark, since nopony has seen it clearly yet due to him always wearing that jacket. He turns to show her, a plain, black umbrella. Though my question is, open or closed? Given his special talent, open would make more sense to me. And this leads into him giving her his cutie mark story, well kind of. More a general description of what led him to understand his special talent and explanation of what it is. Without actually telling her how he got it.
Shorter version. He grew up wanting to help ponies, but was never strong enough, never had the resources. And wait, he says he grew up in the Outer District. But met Flathood in school. When Flathoof's family are from the Middle District. How does that work? Anyway, seeing Flathoof stand up for him and take out some bullies made him try harder, and he soon learned that he made friends easily, that he could get along with almost anypony, and eventually he had contacts at every level of society, all under his own little umbrella.
Well anything more is interrupted by a naked, wet Rarity rushing into the room and acting like a total idiot over Fluttershy. Only to realize that, hey I just ran into a room with a stallion who is used to ponies always wearing clothes, while dripping wet and naked.... and proceeds to be an utter fucking bitch and yell at HIM for that. Even when he says he should go, she just screams at him, calls him a pervert, and bodily shoves him out the room. That SHE barged into without taking the time to get dressed first.
Rarity..... sorry but, you are officially worst pony at this point. Not just among the Mane 6 but, I'd take any of the Mean 6 sans Red, any of the native trio, Silvertongue, pretty much every single other pony we've met besides the doctor and Shadowstep over you at this point.... I, in a way, hate you even more then I hated original version RD. Though to be fair, I don't hate the story so much in your case as I did hers. Since, I can't really say this is horribly OOC, just far to exaggerated. And your being an idiot, but not a belligerent, contradictory asshole. But still, what you just did. Utter, completely (Could not decide between dick or bitch, so insert whichever gender hinting insult you prefer) move.
Up till that point, I did like the scene. This is pretty much the first time we actually get to see Lockwood and Fluttershy just interact, without Rarity being there trying to shove a forced, awkward, idiotic romance down their throats. If it hadn't been for her stuff before this, I would have actually liked the possible growing feeling Fluttershy had for him. But, those are ruined by, again, just how hard Rarity shoves what a great idea it is down everyone's throat. Without that, it would be easy to see why she might start feeling that way. Start to like him. And on his end, he isn't trying to get that kind of reaction. He's not flirting.. well not in any serious way. Just, trying to cheer her up, to be nice, take her mind off things. Simply being a decent, well meaning pony with no intentions beyond that. Whatever RD might pull out of her plot to say otherwise. So, nice job of making me NOT cringe at a scene with those two in it, and actually liking it. Till she showed up and ruined it.
I really dislike you right now, in case you didn't get the hint. But Fluttershy eventfully gets her to, well not admit she was wrong and actually APOLOGIZE to the pony she just yelled at, insulted, technically assaulted, and who even apologized to HER for that. But to at least stop being a asshole to him and let him back in.
Lockwood looked to his sides and saw that his wings were still a little rigid. “Eh heh... r-right. Um...” he muttered as he tried to flatten them against his sides.
“Oh whatever, just try and maintain some semblance of tact, darling? Hmm?”
Are you REALLY trying to make me prefer the psychotic, kill crazy, lunatic over you? Cause, that's what it feels like.
Well more is at least delayed by Tick Tock coming in with the soup, Rarity... R-Rarity... no way, did, did she? She DID! She actually talked to another pony, without either treating them like shit, or like they were a baby, and was even grateful to them for something! Sweet Celestia it's a miracle.
Fluttershy took another sniff of the stew, and gave Rarity a weak smile. “Yay...”
Okay that... made no sense. Why the hell would she 'yay'? Other then simply to have the meme there? No that's a bad story, that's not how you make those work.
And back to Tick Tock, settling down to relax for the first time in days. Alone except for Pewter.
Of course you gotta keep the bowtie on. Bow Ties Are Cool. And suddenly, I want to see Tick Tock and Octavia interacting....
Well it's clear right off just from how they talk that they are old friends, that they know each other pretty well and are perfectly comfortable with each other. Pewter casually sewing up the rips and tears in her outfit while she rested.
“Close enough,” she said, putting her hoof to her temple. “I’m just glad all this is going to be behind me in another week or so. I have a headache the size of the bleedin’ moon, and I ache in places I didn’t even know I had.”
“I’m glad that through all this, you didn’t get yourself or anypony else killed.”
Tick Tock sighed. “Hmph, you sound just like them. It’s not my fault I seem to be on some bad luck streak lately, but all they’ve been on about is how much of a bloody idiot I am.”
“Smart ponies.”
Tick Tock snapped up and threw her pillow at Pewter, hitting him square in the back of the head.
He laughed it off. “Kidding, kidding. That’s not what I meant. Still, they have a point, Tick Tock. Redblade is dangerous enough by yourself, and you tried to traverse it with a full party? What were you thinking? What if Miss Sparkle hadn’t been able to put up an aura like she did?”
“Then I wouldn’t have even attempted to cross, simple as that. You don’t think I’d try it if I wasn’t confident we could make, do you? How dumb do you think I am?”
Just the casual way he can make the same remarks the rest do, and yet she doesn't take it hard, isn't effected or made to doubt herself more. Showing that yeah, they ARE close. And that final bit, pretty much shows just WHY Tick Tock is going so wrong. Yes she believed that things would be fine, she saw that this could work. But, she never stops to consider that she might be wrong. She doesn't think things through far enough. Especially when it involves her plans. We saw that right at the beginning. Her initial plan was simply "Get them to Harmonia." But she never even stopped to look at how to start that, how to get them out of the city. She didn't even think about that. She seems to look way to 'big picture' and forget to account for the little details. Or look at what could go wrong. She's arrogant, thinks she's always right, and that things will go the way she plans, just because she planned them that way.
Though, it's not to to bad an extant. She doesn't take it to extremes. And more often then not, she is right, it is a lot of bad luck, and her being out of her element. She's not used to dealing with other ponies. She's used to doing everything on her own, and so doesn't think enough about the others. Doesn't open up, talk to them like regular ponies. Try to be friends. All of this, it's all perfectly understandable, you can see why she acts the way she does, why the mane 6 have such issues with her over it. And neither side is really wrong, or bad. Again, as much as I complain about some parts, they are relatively few... though sadly not minor given how important they are to the plot.... and it MORE then makes up for it with things like this. Giving us a character that is at once, this likeable by the audience, this understandable, and yet at the same time has such issues. So many flaws that by all rights, we should be disliking. So, yeah way to go.
He gets around to asking what the big deal is, why she needs to get the group to Hope's Point so quickly. And she feels a bang of guilt at having to keep it a secret, and knowing the rules forbid her from telling anypony. More so since Flathoof and Lockwood know all about it, but that was beyond her control. And again showing just how well these to mesh, he can tell right away she's being evasive about it, simply asking if this was Chronomancer stuff, and upon being told yes, drops it. Understanding she's not allowed to tell him, not that she doesn't want to.
“So I take it they’re not your friends?”
Tick Tock snorted and quirked her eyebrow at Pewter, not believing it was a serious question. “Friends? Right. A few of them are friendly enough, but...” She rolled her eyes and flicked her hoof. “What does it matter, anyway? As soon as I get them all to Utopia, I can put this all behind me.”
And, again. I she actually tried to be friends with them, things might go easier, but she's not even interested in it. And again it's nothing against her. She's simply not a ponies pony. She's used to being alone, dealing with only a small number of ponies she trusts very deeply. Pretty much the exact opposite of Lockwood. And, there's nothing wrong with being like that. She isn't rejecting friendship, she simply feels more comfortable around smaller groups, would prefer having a few close friends, then making friends with every random pony she meets, who she knows she'll never see again in a few weeks.
Their conversation gets around to him noting that she doesn't seem to have her Timekeeper, and her admitting she screwed up and lost it, how much easier things would be if she had it.
She sighed and shook her head. “I’m bloody useless without the thing, I see that now...”
And another point in her favor. She's used to having resources she no longer does, and is just SO used to it that she doesn't account for their lack in her plans enough. And, even more so, when she fails, when something goes wrong, she isn't blaming it on not having it. But still accepting the blame on herself. The more I think about her, the more awesome Tick Tock becomes.
But here, now, she can break down a bit, let out the tension, stop trying to portray an image of being in charge, of being sure... this.. just adds more layers. Her hubris, how arrogance and being so sure about herself. How much of that was just an act? Just her trying to keep the rest calm, to try and act like she's in control, trying to be strong? And just further shows how deeply these two are connected, that with him, she can drop the act, let her own uncertainties out, admit that she needs help.
And this reminds him of something. He begins searching through his room, Tick Tock chiding him on the mess he was making before he finds a small box which he gives to her. Inside, was another Timekeeper. The one that had belonged to her mentor, who had disappeared shortly before Tick Tock passed the testing to become a full Chronomancer.. Pewter saying he found it in some random stuff his father had packed up and stored. He meant to give it to her next time she showed up, but it had been so long ago he'd almost forgotten.
This brightens her right up. She takes it, starting to poke some buttons, testing if it still worked. She brings up the notes Zenith (her mentor) had left, looking a the last one. Seems he was dying when she let to take her tests. Some heart condition that he knew gave him no more then a few weeks, if that. So knowing this, he set out to do something he'd always wanted to but never did, explore an old Griffon ruin in the mountains. Hoping to discover something new. Seems that here, Griffons were famed for having vast magical knowledge. If rather stiff and taciturn. He wanted to explore the ruins of their city, see what might be left someone could learn.
He ends on a note about how proud he is of her, and how he's sorry for leaving like this, without saying goodbye. But he was sure she'd make an excellent Chronomancer.
“Thank you, Pewter,” she said, her voice hoarse. “This... this is a great gift, far greater than I deserve. You really have no idea how much this means to me...”
Pewter smiled and tightened the hug. “I’m glad I was able to brighten your spirits, Tick Tock. I hate seeing you upset.”
“Your father raised you right,” she said, looking up and returning his smile. “Nopony else would have bothered with my sorry self.” She sniffed and returned her face to his chest. “What did I do to deserve a friend like you?”
D'aaaaawwwwwwwwwwwww So. Much. Liquid Pride. This, is just such a great, tender, touching moment to end on. Yeah things are bad. the Mean 6 are working against the Mane 6, twisting them. An evil force in the midst working to destroy them from the inside. They are going into dangers, with the greatest strength, their trust and faith in each other, their friendship, at risk of shattering both from the strain of their trip, and the work of their counterparts.
And yet, we end on something hopeful. Seeing that just maybe, things might work out.
Holy fuck I love this story.
Thoughts- Well a big thing with the chapter is relationships, and, overall yeah the story does do these well. When it's being subtle.We have five, at least semi-romantic relationships seen or hinted at in just his chapter. All with their own take, their own issues and strengths.
Insipid and Curacao. More showing just how totally obsessed with Curacao Insipid is, despite that seeming to be a one way street, with Curacao simply dealing with it, letting her act like that, but not returning her affections. And, it all ties into deeper levels to each of them, as we find out later.
AJ and Flathoof. One of my favorites, for just how natural it feels. How right. They simply fit well together. Get along well. They seem like a perfect match. The only issue, is AJ's inability to make sense of her emotions. She so used to being honest, truthful, that when dealing with something like emotions, things this complex while there really isn't any 'right' or 'true' answer, she's not sure what to do. And that little nudge to try and break it up, it works so well because she's already so conflicted, and yet so invested in him. Again for the type of situation it was, it works so much better then most uses of that trope. And my only real complaint, outside of simply not liking to see it because I hate seeing them fighting, I'm talking from a out of story perspective, is how long it lasts. Depriving us of more great scenes between the two.
[Redacted]- this one is only hinted at, and is actually a pretty large spoiler, so no details but, it's yet another relationship we see hints of. And which is done rather well, but more on that after the reveal. Again nice job on the story setting it up better this time.
Tick Tock/Pewter- This is what I mean by the story does this stuff best when being subtle. There is nothing overt. Nothing said out loud to make it clear these two could be a couple. And yet, just the way they act around each other, just how comfortable they are. With Tick Tock breaking down, letting go of the facade of professionalism, dropping the steady "I am right and in charge" act she's been keeping up. Admitting her fears, her failings. Without any reservations. And him knowing just how to handle it, just how to help her. it's clear, without any of them, or the story having to be direct about it, just how much they care for each other.
Fluttershy/Lockwood- Ohhh boy this one. And here, again it's where the 'subtle' thing comes from. The scenes between the two, I really liked them. THAT felt natural. Not as much as AJ/Flathoof, but well enough I could see why Fluttershy would become interested in him, start to like him. And on his part, well spoilers. If it was just this, I might like this like I do the others.... Until Rarity gets involved. And this chapter just shows, how sometimes all it takes to ruin what might be an otherwise well done couple, or nice little pairing, is one rabid shipper cramming their faces together and shouting "NOW KISS!"
As far as characters, there are two that really strand out and for different reasons. Rarity and Tick Tock. Rarity for just how bad she is. And already went on about why. And yet, it's not ALL bad just, comes and goes. But that whole scene with her barging in. Fuck you prissy pony bitch. Fuck you so much. But, she still manages to NOT be wholly bad. Just, slips into it far to easily.
Tick Tock, for just how well this chapter fleshes her out, makes it clearer why she acts the way she does. Ads SO much depth to her character. Her self assuredness. Her attitude of always being right. Part of that is just an act. Just her trying to do the best she can. And again already extolled how awesome this chapter makes her and why.
As to the title, while first thought was, this makes no sense. What the hell is being inoculated again? The Anti-venem? that doesn't count, what!? And then, just to be fair I looked up just what it means, just to be sure and, well then...
The first bit, while not the standard usage of it, does technically count for the anti-venom. So I was wrong there, and that second bit..... that... is such an amazing way of describing just what the Mean 6 are doing. It's, holy shit. Goes from the first title that I think made no sense, into on of the best and most accurate ones yet. AMAZING job as always.
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