We start with Twilight and Flathoof outside the mares' new apartment, having stepped outside for a private chat. Well that, plus to be able to actually breathe since, you know, eight ponies trying to clean up a place meant to only hold four or so.. tends to be a bit cramped and chaotic.
Seems Twi wants to go off on her own, specifically to check out Central Database Holdings, NPC's version of a public library. Ostensibly to look around and get a feel for how the place works before applying for a job there, but well... this is Twilight...
Twilight elected not to mention that she was going to spend most of her time at the library doing what libraries were intended for: studying.
Flathoof objecting, seems another thing to chalk up to "makes no damn sense" rules of New Pandemonium City is that a pony on parole has to be with their parole officer 24/7. Yeah not going to make a rule deal about how dumb and nonsensical that is since, well that's probably the point knowing this city. Oh and their parole is only a week long..... yeah see the previous sentence about that.
Short version, if Twi wants to go to the library, she has to bring all of the Mane 6 with her. Something she knows is just not a good idea. We all know what Twi would be like once she get's engrossed in studying, and unless the world has it's own version of Daring Do (Which would be awesome to see by the way) trying to get RD to hang around long enough would just be impossible. To say nothing of Pinkie Pie. So yeah, it is far far better she goes on her own.
Twi gives in, not wanting to fight Flathoof over this, since she knows he'd let her if he could, he's simply following the rules and she's not going to get on his case for that given how much he's already been willing to help. Though, a solution falls right at their hooves.. literally. They open the door and Lockwood tumbles onto the floor in front of them, having been leaning on the door listening to their conversation. He comments to Flathoof that there is surly some way around the rule of having to keep the mane 6 all in his sight at all times. Flathoof mentioning that he wouldn't trust any other officer to watch some of them, either because they wouldn't do it, or he simply wouldn't trust them to behave themselves and not try something with one of the mares.
What follows is some rather nice character building between the two, we see some hints of just how used to each other they are, how well they know how the other thinks. Lockwood trying to get Flathoof to find someway around the rules, something Flathoof refuses to do. He knows nopony really cares, that it's not like he'd actually get in any trouble for it, but he still won't do it, it's just not him. Though Twi does pipe in..
“But didn’t you break some rules in getting us through all this?”
"N-nnnope." He says that he never actually broke any rules, just, found loopholes, workarounds, ways to bend them a bit without actually breaking the letter of the rule. Lockwood asking why he can't do that here, find some way to allow him to watch over some of the mares for him while Flathoof takes Twi over to the library. Finally giving in and saying he'll do it after Lockwood starts to tease him about simply wanting to keep all the mares for himself.
Really I like this scene, it gives us some more development for both of them, is well done, and, yeah just very nice. The more we learn about both ponies, the more we like them. Flathoof is obviously a very Lawful Good pony who knows just how rare that is in the city. Who knows just how hard it is to be that type of pony. And yet, he's not Lawful Stupid, he does know when to bend, when to find a loophole, is willing to ignore a law if he can find someway around it. He won't outright break any rules, but he will bend them, will find a way around them. When give a To Be Lawful or Good choice, you really get the impression he'll choose being 'Good' every time if he can.
Then we get Lockwood. Again, as with last chapter, while we get some fleshing out, he still, overall comes off as rather average. Nothing really stands out about him. He's just an all around 'nice guy' character. Yet, the story makes it work, makes him fit in well, and still manages to make him interesting. His discussion with Twilight after Flathoof walks off to call in and have the paperwork letting Lockwood watch them filled out emphasis this. As he talks to her about how he can know so many ponies from all walks of life. Making her a bit nervous when he admits to knowing some, less then reputable, ponies. Ones that yes, technically are criminals. But aren't really bad ponies.
Again on the Lawful of Good scale. They may break the laws of the city, but not in anyway that hurts other ponies. And given how messed up we know the city is, and some of why, yeah not hard to see there being many, many ponies like that. Overall, even this early I found myself liking Lockwood, and yet still being surprised he was as major a character as he is. He just so perfectly kind of blends into the background, without being dull or boring. Really, being able to pull that off, make a character like that, both rather unassuming and average, and yet also interesting and likeable. Really great job on him as a character overall. Plus the little, well fairly big, hint as to what his special talent is, without being blatant about it and just coming right out and saying that's his talent.
Granted it's a bit hard for Twi to accept that ponies can break the law, and yet still be good ponies. But even that makes sense. She's from a world where the rulers are kind, just, where what laws there are are in place for good reason. She doesn't quite see that there is any difference between Lawful and Good, since in her Equestria most, if not all, laws they have are about things that even without a law saying not to do it, are still just wrong. Is it naive, maybe. Idealistic? Certainly. But, again that's what I love so much about ponies the inherit idealism to it. So, yeah I'm not sure if the authors were really thinking that deeply about it, but, really well done scene here regardless. Really effectively shows, in a few single lines, just some of the greatest differences between out Equestria, and this one.
Though one slight bug I have about the scene is the relationship between Lockwood and Flathoof. Well, how it's played is perfect and works, I'm talking more about the same issue from last chapter. How the two interact is great, you really feel how close they are, how much they know, like, and trust each other. My issue is with how they talk about their relationship. Given how close we learn they really are, the way they describe how well they know each other in the early parts of the story just, feels way to low key, doesn't quite fit with their real relationship. When we see the two of them interacting with each other, it's great, but, simply talking about the other to one of the Mane 6. It simply feels to low key, to understated. Plus Lockwood's asking Twi not to mention him knowing some, less then legal, ponies. Given how close they are, and how much Flathoof knows about Lockwood, really doubt he doesn't already know, or at least have a good idea, of some of the types of ponies Lockwood knows.
Oh also, I found Lockwood ribbing Flathoof about wanting to keep the mare for himself, while Twilight just tried to get one of them to tell her what the hay they were talking about quite hilarious.
Anyway, back to the story. Flathoof comes back noting that Snapshot had already left for the day, without punching out it seems..... but he made sure somepony on the night shift would get the forms filed. Though he'd make sure Snapshot took a look tomorrow to make sure they were done right. Telling Twi that they could head to the library when she was ready. If Lockwood thought he could handle the rest. Looking back in we get a brief glimpse of the Mane 6 working and, yeah this is so much better. I remember, okay maybe it was a bit later scene but still in the apartment, the mane 6 bickering and snapping at each other over getting things straight and neat. RD thinking it was a waste of time, that they should be focused on getting home, that making this place better was like admitting they wouldn't be leaving soon etc... and just general things that really added to the feel of them being OOC. (Okay so that scene IS still in here, just later in the chapter, keep reading I'll get to my issues with it.) Not this time, at least so far. Just them working together, helping each other get things done. And yeah a little arguing, but nothing major, just little disagreements on stuff like where to put the couch, minor stuff that nopony takes personally, gets upset over. So so much better this time. (So far..... ugh)
And the much better characterization of the Mane 6 keeps on going. AJ coming out to stop the two as they head for the stairs, saying she wants to come with them.
“We’re going to the library, Applejack. It’s not a place you’d usually volunteer to go... if you don’t mind my saying.”
Applejack narrowed her eyes. “You sayin’ I ain’t got no book smarts, Twi?”
“Do... do you really want me to answer that question?”
Applejack gave an aggravated sigh and shook her head. “Nevermind. I’m just worried ‘bout ya goin’ by yerself, Twi.”
That just feels very natural for them. As well as AJ simply wanting to not get split up to much. Even with Twi's insistence that she'll be fine with Flathoof, AJ would still feel better with one of them along. Plus...
And ta be honest, I don’t think I can take much more o’ Rarity’s complainin’ ‘bout the dust ‘n’ dirt. If she starts whinin’, well, I can’t be held responsible for what might happen.”
Now this might seem odd given how I just complimented the story on NOT having the Mane 6 bickering or getting on each others nerves to say how much I like this little bit. But, it's all in the way it's handled. Before, it just felt wrong, forced, there was no need for them to be arguing except for the author gluing a Conflict Ball to their hooves. Here, it's natural from their character. And even then they aren't fighting. AJ and Rarity are friends, there's no doubt of that but, doesn't change that Rarity gets on AJ's nerves at times. And being cramped so close together, yeah little things might flare up. But, AJ knows this, she knows she's getting annoyed, knows why, and simply does the smart thing, leaves for a time. Gives herself a break, some time to relax and calm down. Really really great bit.
Well they reach the library, and before even stepping inside Twi is ready to joygasm at just how much information it must have, simply based on how massive the building is.
Twilight gulped. “If the dimensions are what I think they are, Applejack, then this building’s bigger than all of Ponyville proper. Excluding Sweet Apple Acres of course.”
Okay, that bit... I get they are going for huge but... that's a bit TO huge to be believable. Especially when we're told it takes up about four blocks of the city. No way is Ponyville THAT small. If she meant due to height as well, maybe. But even then that's. Yeah just doesn't feel right. I get it's a HUGE building, but feels like it's underestimating how large Ponyville is. Now, being able to easily hold all the residents of Ponyville, that I could buy. But given how spread out the town is, being bigger then the town itself... sorry not buying it.
And then, we find out just how truly horrible this place really is. How twisted, wrong, just plain evil this entire city truly is. The depths of utter insanity it has sunk to. After some confusions about how this place could send information through wires and cables, we learn the true horror of this city.
Applejack nodded her head and removed her hat. “Dang, an’ all this here place does is hold books?”
Flathoof tilted his head. “Books?”
Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, books. You said this place is a library, and libraries hold books, amongst other things. Documents, newspapers, that sort of thing. Just like this place does.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Flathoof said. “The Pandemonium Database System is entirely digital. They copy down any written information they get into their computer system, then get rid of the original forms or whatever. Most ponies don’t even bother writing things on paper anymore, besides documentation forms since the NPRD insists on making things difficult.”
Everpony hit the deck, Twilight's about to lose it!
Twilight turned white. “W-w-what? No... no, you’re joking. You must be joking.”
His stern face said that he wasn’t.
”They don’t have books here, Applejack!” Twilight grabbed Applejack’s side and shook her friend in a fierce panic. “They don’t. Have. Books!”
And the rest of the story is simply taking place in Twi's head as her mind snaps from the shear horror of a world without books. Though she does take it far better then you'd think. No giant craters, hordes of mind controlled ponies obsessively chasing after a book Twilight created after she puts another 'want it need it' spell on it to force them to like books. Crushing the affront to sanity which dares call itself a library without books into a tiny spec of neutronium.
Good thing AJ came with you Flathoof, who knows what might have happened if she wasn't there to calm Twi down. Plus you'd miss the comedic gold of her reaction to an automatic sliding door.
Inside they find, as promised, no books, just rows and rows of computer terminals.
The room was still very large, and blanketed with desk after desk. There were enough desks in the room that Applejack was certain that all together they could probably build a small town large enough to fill the room.
Again, that.. just feels to ludicrous to be believable. Either it's overestimating just how big a place could be made, or underestimating how big even a small town is. It just, the scale feels really off and hard for me to believe.
They head to the receptionist, Flathoof asking her to fetch the head librarian. Wait, if it's fairly late, which given Flathoof said he left orders for the night shift is pretty implied... I could buy the place being open 24/7. But the head librarian always being there too?
.. okay I don't remember the bit about AJ breaking his name plate but... it got a chuckle out of me.
Also, right off I like this guy, quite snarky, clearly having a high opinion of his job and how important it is, while more then a bit frustrated at just how little respect it gets. And all of this clear from just his few opening lines. Once again, even brief, one scene characters get great development right off the bat.
Anyway, Twi asks if there is any chance he has positions open, and when asked for qualifications.
“I worked at the... Utopian... Central... Library. Yes. Utopian Central Library. In Utopia. Because that’s where I’m from,” Twilight added with a nervous, awkward smile.
Smooth Twi, real smooth. Nopony could be suspicious of that at all.
We then get a rather great mini debate between the two about books versus digital. Granted it's mostly just him talking since Twi really doesn't want to get on his bad side right now. Though her little remarks as he casually insults or dismisses things she's never had a problem with are great. Though he finally gets around to asking just why she was being escorted by a police officer. Getting the jist of their problem, commenting on how odd it is they made it out of the gate district without ID's but not pressing the issue.
Flathoof and the librarian then proceed to get into a Rules Lawyer off over letting Twi go off with him on her own for the job interview, the librarian winning in the end. Clearly surprising Flathoof with just how well he knows the legal code, as well as loopholes. Really, a great little scene, I get the feeling Flathoof was just being so stubborn because of the librarian's own attitude, as well as him being all "rules are rules" about not wanting to let Flathoof come with them. He gave in graciously enough once he was out played.
As Twi heads to the back with the librarian, Flathoof offers to buy AJ a cup of coffee while they wait. Apparently good enough at judging ponies to know, supposed one hour time limit on how long she can be away from him for he interview or not, you aren't getting Twilight out of a library that quickly.
AJ gets a slight bang of homesickness while sipping the drink, giving us a quick thought about a Noodle Incident involving Applebloom trying to make coffee for her and Big Mac one morning. (Seems she got some cooking lessons from Sweetie Belle). Also a bit about her being a little uneasy about being alone with Flathoof, even though she admits the chance to do so was one other reason why she came out with them.
Okay, the relationships between the Mane 6 and Equestria V ponies... there are two major ones, one I'll get to, and this one, between AJ and Flathoof. While I hate to former, and I'll get to why when it comes up, I do actually like this one. It feels natural, organic, it really fits AJ's character, you can easily see why she's attracted to Flathoof. Overall it's handled really really well, just a small, understandable fascination with him, that slowly grows as they get to better know, understand, and respect each other.
She gives Flathoof a quick summary of how the Mane 6 got together, omitting anything about Nightmare Moon, simply that Twi was sent to town to organize a celebration which the other 5 were key participants in, and she just kind of brought them all together. Flathoof nodding, saying it's a lot like him and Lockwood, that he's lost track of how many ponies he's met thanks to him. Also letting us know that forming these sorts of social groups is Lockwood's special talent.
Their talk goes onto family, AJ giving him a quick rundown of her's, though when he asks about her parents, all we get is a quick "I don't want to talk about it." before she shifts the conversation over to his family. Short version, he's got a decent sized one, all the stallions in it being foundry workers, while the mares tend to be bakers or chefs.
And, as my father says, ‘the Hoof line has always been attracted to great chefs’, so that’s what my family’s mares have all tended to be.”
Applejack found herself recalling something Pinkie Pie once called her, “best baker ever”. She shook her head. Why did she think of that at all?
Again, while I generally am not a fan of shipping, in this case it's done really well. These little touches, making it clear how AJ feels, while at the same time making it clear she's not sure of her own feelings, or why she has them. It never feels forced, or gets that overt or shoved in your face.
She also can't help but notice just how similar their families are. As well as some similarities between Flathoof's place in it and her own. Oh and also a quick bit from AJ about how rare it is to talk about family, since the rest of the Mane 6 tend to be rather tight lipped, or simply never bring up the subject. Bringing up how Twi didn't even mention she had a brother, or didn't know he was getting married till a few days before. (Okay, my headcanon is that the note from Dragon Quest that the jerk dragons burned was Shining trying to tell Twi about it. And he never knew she didn't get the note about them getting together.)
He even still lives with them, saying it's only because him being a cop gets them a tax break if he does, noting they really need the help after.. something that's a long story.
“We got time, sugarcube.” Applejack blushed when she realized she’d accidentally called him by the pet name she gave to all her friends. Where had that come from?
Again, nice little touch.
Said long story is actually, rather short. One of his brothers was seriously injured on the job, and to no surprise this city has neither disability, nor workman's comp, so he was now unable to work, yet the family still had to pay his taxes. He mentions again how helpful Lockwood was in that, finding loopholes and helping them as much as he could. Pointing out how much his mother adores him, trying to hook him up with Flathoof's sister.
“She’s too big and loud for the poor guy, he likes a more... ah, graceful type, I think. Y’know, somepony like himself.”
Two things, one a bit of set up for the other... relationship... in the story involving the Mane 6, and the one that is most definitely not done well. Second, well, knowing what we find out later about just who Lockwood ends up with.. seems Flathoof might not know him as well as he thinks.
Next topic, food. A comment from Flathoof about how he wishes they had brought some real food from AJ's farmwith them so he could try some lead to him pointing something out to AJ. They are in a smog covered city where nearly every square inch is covered in metal or stone, and surround by miles of wasteland. Not a lot of agricultural prospects. Turns out the city lives off of synthetic food made by the Dolor company.
She gulped. “What... uh... what d’y’all use to make the stuff?”
'“Ponies.”''
He quickly backpedals, remembering that they don't quite have the same sense of humor as he's used to. Saying he's been to the facilities many time, and there is absolutely no evidence to the "Dolor Green is ponies" rumor. (Predictable, yes, but, lets face it, you CAN'T have a town/city/country/whatever living off synthetic food without a Soylent Green reference somewhere.)
As the two of them continued to talk, neither took much notice of a green unicorn mare in a heavy coat sitting several tables away, hurriedly scribbling in a notebook.
The one thing that is a pretty big limitation to print over video. Little things like this, in a video, she could have just been in the background, visible if you look for her, but, out of the way enough a lot might simply miss her. In print, you have to call attention to her being there or she doesn't exist as far as the reader knows. But, still a good job.
And we cut back to the rest of the mares still working on getting their new place spruced up.
Hey, and one of them finally points out to Pinkie that they need money before they can get party supplies. Rarity saying it would be very rude of them to impose on their new friends more and ask them for the supplies. Leading to a little flattery from Lockwood, which Rarity says will not get him out of helping them finish the cleaning. Though the pony that just collapsed after running up the stairs to talk to him will. Something about a gas leak in one of the apartments, and it being a common issue with that room, though mopony is sure if it's the fault of the ponies in the place or not. He excuses himself, saying he knows he's supposed to watch them at all times, but trusting them not to leave the room till he gets back.
Okay, not sure if that bit was there before, but, given what does happen later, I do see where the scene is going to end up and is setting up for.
And as soon as he's gone.... oh.. great.. this is the scene I thought might have been cut, it just came later then I thought...
Rarity and RD arguing over why they should bother cleaning the place up and making it look good. Dash somehow getting it into her head that doing so was showing a lack of faith in Twilight being able to get them all back home almost instantly. That Rarity saying they don't know how long they will be here so might as well make the most of it is just her thinking the worst about Twilight's abilities.... ugh.
I really thought they were toning down RD's way out of proportion need to bicker and be confrontational about everything. Not to mention her rather groundless and almost paranoid issue about being sure the Lockwood and Flathoof were up to no good and had other reasons for being 'nice' to them.
Yeah this is where we get into the mane 6, and especially RD, feeling rather OOC. I really thought this stuff was going to be one of the things addressed in the edits, so far they've been great, here, I really can't see anything other then MAYBE toning it down just a little. Still it just feels off, wrong, out of nowhere for RD to be THAT bitchy and confrontational over nothing. It just makes no damn sense and simply comes off as her having a conflict ball strapped to her hoof. She even turns to snap at Pinkie for no reason as well. Really, this is one of the few major issues I've had with this story and was hoping it would actually get better. Granted RD got a LOT worse later on, so that might be brought down a bit, but even here, there was no need for her to be acting like that.
RD arguing with Rarity over needing to make the place look perfect I actually could see. But not because of the reasons RD went off on, more just a general, "Why do things need to be THAT neat and clean?" And not quite as bitter, bitchy and aggressively nasty feeling as it came off, especially with the random snap at Pinkie.
After all that, the argument goes no where, it just, stops, nopony actually having convinced the other of anything, or even agreeing to drop it, it just.. stops.. out of nowhere, for just as little reason as it began. The whole scene was just.. bad. Again, there was no reason for RD to be that bitchy, we get no insight into WHY she was that way, it feels at odds with her character. Hopefully this one just slipped trough the cracks, and isn't their idea of a baseline for RD that they are simply toning the later issues down to, cause even this was rather OOC feeling.
Well, Fluttershy eventually just has enough of it and steps out into the hall to get away from the pointless bickering, seeing a janitor messing with a panel nearby. Okay that bit about needing to call attention to things in a book versus just letting them be in the background in a video, really nice job of how to do it here. Cause, who would think that was Tick Tock? Especially when the janitor is wearing a mustache. At least till she turns to leave and drops her notebook, which conveniently lands open to a page where she has a drawing of Fluttershy. The yellow mare walking over to pick it up for her and seeing it, thinking that the janitor was so sort of artist in training, or just liked to sketch for fun, complimenting her on her skills, while noting what she thought was a stallion was mare in a false mustache.
Said mare simply says yeah, she's taking some art classes, now she really has a lot of floors to clean so umm, bye. Before rushing down the stairs, Fluttershy noting she seemed to be passing a lot of them on her way down, not stopping to clean them. Then moving over to shut the hallway window, which had somehow become open.
Jump to confirmation that the mare was indeed Tick Tock as we jump over to her as she gets home. Grabbing a tube of food to snack on before stepping into her TARDIS, the door refusing to shut tightly behind her, something she just ignores figuring she'll fix it later. Trotting over to the console and calling Doctor Whooves.
She starts off with explaining why she was following them secretly, instead of just going up to them and talking to them right out and, decent reasoning behind it. She then goes on to explain what she found out about six, giving her own take on their personalities, all pretty accurate while also giving some hints at her own character in how she views them, and her little notes on them are hilarious.
- Pinkie Pie-Pink, very pink. Nutter, Bonkers, Parties
- Rarity-Bleeding Posh
- RD-Argumentative
- Fluttershy-Adorable
- AJ-Farm, Family
- Twilight-Books, Books, Books.
Granted the RD one.. and explanation for how she found her to be are just... yeah more signs of how the story views RD. Not to well.
Anyway, it isn't till she mentions Twilight that it clicks in the other pony's head what these six have in common, The Elements of Harmony. He goes on to explain about them, in this story they are physical manifestations of Order, with Discord being a the opposite manifestation of Chaos. And now that the Mane 6 are gone, their connection to the Elements had been disrupted, so the seal they had put on him is weakening. And since they weren't as powerful as the Princesses, their seal is breaking faster, with the Doctor figuring maybe four weeks, but longer then three would be unlikely till he's free again.
They didn't have time to wait for the next natural portal to form, telling her to use Emergency Measure 5, have one of the Alicorns on her side create an artificial portal for her to use. Tick Tock commenting they'd have to use Harmonia, since it was unlikely Nihila would help stop the spread of Chaos. Bitching about what a hassle getting all of them all the way to Utopia would be, at least a two week journey just in it's own right just to get to the Hope's Point place that had been mentioned earlier. Asking him to remind her to petition their superiors for better emergency plans once this is all over.
Doc shouts a warning to her, having seen something coming up behind her, giving her enough time to just barely dodge out of the way as Shadowstep tries to stab her in the back. His dagger hitting the monitor and breaking it. Passing close enough to her head to give her a decent cut on her nose.
“That’s the idea!” The pegasus laughed. “A Chronomancer, eh? I thought your kind were just fables. Well, sorry little clock cleaner, but your time has run out. Ha!”
Tick Tock sneered and steadied herself. “The puns just write themselves, don’t they? Sometimes I hate this job.”
Mid combat witty repartee, is it ever not awesome? To bad Shadowstep didn't take the Dashing Swordsman prestige class Those puns would have been helpful.
We get a pretty damn awesome action scene. Tick Tock managing to fight him off, though clearly outmatched. Shadowstep commenting on how much he's enjoying this, that he hasn't had a pony put up this much of a fight in a long time. Really getting into it. Eventually he runs out of knives, Tick Tock starting to lose energy as well as the assassin proves he's just as good at killing ponies with his bare hooves. It's pretty clear that she doesn't stand a chance of winning, but she is not making it easy for him. While tumbling they end up hitting a window, Shadowstep grabbing her and pulling her out of it, lifting her up higher though the smog, the pollution doing as much to disorient her as the fighting had.
Tick Tock kicked and squirmed. “Let me go you maniac!” she screamed. Then, her eyes widened. “W-wait, forget I said—"
“Poor choice of words!”
So, he let her go.
Yeah... bad choice there. Though as she falling she manages to cast a spell, no word on what it was, but there is a flash of light and we switch to Shadowstep's POV
He's basking in the post kill euphoria, having really enjoyed that fight, and noting that while he wasn't sure what spell he had seen, he was sure it wasn't a teleportation one. He takes a few minutes to enjoy the air above the smog cloud before diving back down to find her body. He may be be an evil psychotic monster, but he is smart, clever, and above all, Genre Savvy. Since once he reaches the ground, he can't find any sign of her body, or even of her hitting the ground, anything.
He knew better than to assume anything until he could see the body.
Damn.
And the chapter ends with this. As he continues to look around to try and find he body.
Had he looked up, he might have chanced the sight of a unicorn-shaped figure limping along inside of a cover of smoggy clouds, a slight shimmer of magic beneath her hooves.
This, was an awesome scene. A really well done, tightly paced fight scene, both sides putting in a good fight, even if one clearly had the edge. Plus, show's just how quick a thinker Tick Tock is, able to get out of it through her smarts, if only barely. Plus, holy fuck! competent villains who never assume No One Could Survive That!. Yeah, the threat level the Mane 6 are facing just jumped up considerably.
Thoughts- Overall, the story just keeps getting better. Most of it I've gone over. The first and last scenes were amazing. The middle one.... not so much. Again RD just felt really really needlessly aggressive and confrontational. Arguing for no reason other then to argue. Fighting over stupid things and just, all around coming off as way to nasty and bitchy. Hopefully this bit just slipped through the cracks and it'll get better later.
The rest, amazing. All for reasons I've covered already. AJ's fascination with Flathoof comes off very well, it feels natural to her character. The OC's continue to be amazing as we learn more about them. And, again bar RD, the rest of the Mane 6 feel really in character. Past that, well lets see where things end up going.
As to the title, well lots of inconveniences here. The mane 6 being trapped here in the first place. Flathoof trying to deal with keeping all six under his supervision. Lockwood having to be called away from helping out with that. Tick Tock having to put in so much time and effort to find out about the Mane 6. RD's bickering even giving the reader one. Then the end, yeah just a just a few tiny little inconveniences for those two.
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