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weenakedlassie2013-08-06 12:39:21

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It begins on a dark night where a dark man waits, with a dark purpose. No, wait; that's something else.

It begins in a cave, where various monk types run around and are killed. Kreel takes a gem stone from a box and uses it to open a container, revealing Shaytana's Eye. It's a large bulbous gem, hanging on a cord.

Kalem is watching this happen. She does a lot of watching things happen.

A monk attempts to stop Kreel, but Xax arrives and defeats him with some terrible martial arts noises.

Kalem stands on a snowy mountain, arms outstretched. This also happens a lot.

Will shoots an arrow at an apple hanging from a string.

Xaxian warriors storm the Citadel. Vara runs out to watch and is enchanted when Xax acknowledges her. Her parents, watching from above, order her nurse Melba to take her inside and call the guard to close the gates. It doesn't help, as Kreel uses Shaytana's Eye to force them open again.

Xax declares that he's there to overthrow the royal family and install himself as 'Lord Protector of all the Realms'. Apparently just being a lord wasn't enough for him. He says all this in a British accent and rolls all his rrrrrrrs.

The ineffectual king sends out some ineffectual guards. Kreel kills them all, or at least makes them all fall down, with Shaytana's Eye. Vara comes back to watch and is hauled away again by Melba, who helpfully tells her about Shaytana's Eye.

Melba: Whoever possesses it has the power to destroy the world!

Will randomly puts a bucket of apples down beside a fence, feeding part of one to his dog, Alvar. His mother, helpfully calling him both Will and William just so we'll be sure he's the title character, asks him to milk the cow, but before he can his father stumbles out of the bushes, bleeding from the head and talking about an oncoming darkness. Will carries him inside and is immediately sent back out to watch for - something.

Will: Watch? But what am I looking for, Father?
Father: Later, Will. Now do as you're told. And keep your eyes peeled!
We know this won't end well because the Xaxian warriors are on the march. Also, that poor cow's going to be a bit miserable.

Xax and Kreel arrive in the throne room, where Xaxian warriors kill some more ineffectual soldiers. Xax bullies the king and queen off their thrones, and the queen leads a chant in his honour.

Despite having been left on watch, Will is dozing with his head on a rock. That must be really comfortable. Maybe if he knew what he was watching for, he'd be more aware. Alvar is paying attention, though, and alerts him to something happening inside the house. When he goes in, Kalem has appeared. Will's parents are completely unworried, and in fact greet her like an old friend.

Will's parents tell him to sit down and listen to Kalem; he seems to recognise her name. She turns a loaf of bread into a cup of water, which seems like a terrible waste of bread; she's careful to show off the tattoo on her wrist at the same time. She tells Will to look at the water. At first he sees water in a cup, and he gets a shock when he tries to touch it, but after a moment he sees an image of the crystal arrow.

Will: The talisman of Kale?
Kalem shows him a pendant modeled on the arrow.
Kalem: No, William, this is not the arrow itself, but a promise of its power. I want you to wear this.
Will: I can't wear that! The legend says...
Warriors approach the house and Will runs outside to face them down. Kalem follows him and urges him to run; when urging doesn't work, Will determined not to abandon his parents, she hypnotises him into doing it.

At night in the Citadel, Vara is wandering between the three entrances to her room, trying to overhear what's happening. Hearing people coming, she settles herself in a seat so she can look regal. Xax sweeps in and distracts her by acting very courtly. In the background, Kreel uses Shaytana's Eye to hypnotize her while Xax talks soothingly and slightly creepily about how he's going to protect her.

Xax: Your father has wisely made me the Lord Protector of Kale. And, therefore, the protector of you, the Princess Vara. Your future is my future.

Still night, Will is wandering through a forest. He approaches a cave; Kalem, watching from afar, warns him away from it, but he either doesn't hear or doesn't listen and goes in anyway. Inside there are bones, and someone around a corner is throwing knives, but he still doesn't take the hint and goes in, calling out so whoever's in there has a fighting chance. It turns out to be a big albino with really sharp teeth. Will finally takes the hint and tries to run; the albino throws a knife at him and hits him in the head, knocking him out without even breaking his skin.

When he wakes up he's on the floor of a cave with his hands tied. The albino is out of his line of sight, but can be heard sharpening his knive nearby. In a hanging cage is a boy who gloomily tells Will that they're here for dinner. He should know; he had three friends when he came here. He tells Will that he is a kobold; their albino host eats all kinds of people, including Will's, Kalean.

(Side note: a kobold, in Germanic mythology, is a usually mischievious spirit that lives in a mine, house, or in water. The mine type, especially, are almost always hostile.)

Will attempts to get Kobold to untie him, but he thinks Will will leave him behind to cover his escape. Will promises that he won't and the kobold eventually unties him. Will can't break the lock on the cage and snatches a knife; Kobold freaks out and starts yelling, attracting the albino's attention, but Will uses the knife to break the lock off the door. His crossbow is nearby and he grabs it, shooting a - net? Ok, whatever - at the albino, knocking him down.

The kobold has no legs. Will hoists him onto his back and runs out past the albino. It struggles free and follows them out. However, since this broadcast cuts some scenes, it never shows up again.

The Citadel glows in the night. Inside, under the main dome, Kreel is setting up his laboratory. He has a stand for Shaytana's Eye, and a basin into which he pours a special liquid. This allows him to see what's happening anywhere in the kingdom. Xax worries about whether Kalem will find the Crystal Arrow, but Kreel is unconcerned. Even if she does find it, it'll be too late. Vara is loved by the people, and she will endorse Xax as interim ruler. He'll be entrenched before Kalem can do anything about it.

Missing scene: the albino catches up, but Kobold uses Will's crossbow to wound him and he runs off.

Will and Kobold reach a scary looking cave. Will suggests leaving Kobold outside, but he insists on being brought inside.

Will: Stop pulling on my ears!
Kobold: I'm trying to show you which way to go!
Inside Will puts him on a rock and attempts to leave, but a grill traps him and some men arrive and attack him. Kobold grins in delight. The head guard shows off his fancy crystal necklace, straight from Kreel. In Will's presence, though, it sparks, burning the guard's hand.

Will is chained with some other slaves in a mine. Two of them are in the opening credits. Two are not. We can see where this is going.

The woman next to Will has Kalem's tattoo on her wrist; she's carefully holding her hand at a completely awkward angle so Will can see. She introduces herself as Te Yeut; there is also Aruna, Seth, and Leon.

Apparently their guards are very trusting, as the five of them are left completely alone with mining equipment. They're mining crystals which Kreel and Xax will use as they subjugate the land. Te Yeut tells them about a prophecy that says their country's great hero, William Tell, will return when needed. Will is dismissive.

Will: All right, so I was named after William Tell, but that's the closest I come to being a hero.
Leon stops working to lean against the wall, explaining that once the sack is full, they're done. Te Yeut hasn't finished filling hers, and despite Will's pleas the others won't help her.
Will: But your sack overflows!
Leon: And it's staying that way.
Will: And so does yours.
Aruna: Yeah, well, I need all mine for me.
Seth: I've only just got enough.
Will fills her sack from his own.

Kreel senses something and searches with his basin.

The guards return to check on Will and his group. Will has missed quota helping Te Yeut; while the guard is distracted he sneaks the key and hides it in the wall. Te Yeut notices and when the guard demands they be searched, she takes it to protect Will. Despite his protests -

Will: I took the key.
Guard: How chivalrous! It's a rare commodity down here.
Kobold: He's like that.
Te Yeut is flung into a bottomless pit.

The guards are eating when the head guard stops. Kreel is sending a message through the crystal. Someone important is in the mine and must be guarded at all costs.

Meanwhile Will is fermenting rebellion in his group. When guards arrive he tells Seth, previously established as an actor, to play dead. Seth panics and starts reciting play fragments instead. It doesn't bother the guards much.

Guard: What's wrong with him?
Leon: He's dying.
Kobold: That's nice. Does he have to make so much noise about it?
The guards unchain all of the prisoners and they attack. During the fight, Leon gets to show off his strength.

The group runs for it and find themselves on the wrong side of a canyon. Aruna shows off her climbing skills and gets across. It's pointless, because some guards come from the other side and lower the bridge, but hey, now we know she can climb stuff.

Seth is pretty much just dramatic.

The group overpower the guards, grab their weapons, and run for it.

Out on a cliff top, Leon breaks Seth's chains. The others are already free. They say their goodbyes and start off in different directions, when Seth suddenly sees who he thinks is Te Yeut. The others come back to look, but it's actually Kalem dressed as Te Yeut. Will is immediately dismissive, telling her that he's going home to help his parents.

Kalem tells him he can't go home. She calls Alvar and uses her powers to show Will's the dog's memories of Xax and the warriors attacking the house. She does this by holding his hand and having him touch Alvar and look into his eyes. The memory, and a wound on Alvar's shoulder, convinces Will. Because Kalem has never manipulated him before, and doesn't have mystical powers, or anything.

Will swears to kill him, and Kalem tells him not to worry about that now. Vara's in trouble and they need to get her out of the Citadel and away from Xax and Kreel.

Timing question. This is the day after Xax's overthrow of the royal family, unless Will was in that mine for a very long time. Xax overthrew the royal family, and Will's farm was attacked on the same day. Xax overthrew the royal family, wandered off to deal with two random peasants, and then went back to hypnotise Vara? He didn't think that was more important? Neither Kreel nor Xax have any idea who Will is yet!

Anyway, back with the actual show. Kalem asks Will to wear the pendant, and he refuses.

Will: I'm not the hero you're looking for.
Will starts to walk away, but Kalem says he doesn't have to do it alone. Seth immediately offers to help, and, inexplicably, the other two do as well. Despite the fact that they can't have understood more than half of what was said, since they couldn't see Alvar's memories, and also they don't even seem to like Will very much. Maybe it's a revenge thing.

The four pile their hands together and yell "Kale!"

At the Citadel, at night, they hide from the warriors by leaning against a wall about ten feet from the door. Aruna throws a rope up to the battlements and climbs it. Will sends Alvar to hide while Leon goes up after Aruna. Will tells Seth to go next; Seth is a bit wary, and Will tells him they don't have time to wait for him and then goes up anyway. Seth is about to follow when some warriors finally wander in that direction. Seth warns the others in time for them to pull the rope up, but he is caught.

Kreel is starting to understand what's happening, aided by flashbacks where people say things they didn't say the first time around. Seth is dragged to him, interrupting him before he can figure it out completely. Seth sees a death trap on a doorway.

The others are wandering around a corridor when Alvar finds them. Will replicates Kalem's trick to give Alvar Aruna's memory of having seen the princess once. I could count the ways that shouldn't work, but we'd still be here this time tomorrow. Alvar heads off and they follow him.

Seth is held in a seat by Shaytana's Eye. It's also allowing Kreel to rummage around inside his head. Seth attempts to hold out, but Kreel nonchalantly points out that he has a wife and child and would do anything to protect them. Helpless, Seth gives up Will and the others.

Vara's embroidering in her room when Will and the others burst in, ready to rescue her. Sadly, she doesn't realise she needs rescue, and she delays them long enough for Xax, Kreel and some warriors to break in. Kreel parades Seth in front of them and then takes Will to his lab and sends the others to the dungeon.

In the laboratory Kreel is able to get a certain amount of information from Will's mind. Kalem is protecting him, however, and Kreel can't get too deep. It's enough for him to realise what's happening.

Kreel: You are a centre around which people will unite, through which Kalem will attempt to defeat me.

Meanwhile, down in the dungeon, Leon manages to bend the bars of the cage enough to let Aruna slip out. She climbs up above the door. Seth shouts for help and when the guard opens the door Aruna kicks it in his face. Luckily, it doesn't automatically lock again, or else they'd really be in trouble. Leon and Aruna grab their weapons and they set Alvar on Will's trail.

In the laboratory, Xax is about to kill Will with his own crossbow when the others burst in. Alvar pins Xax to a wall while Aruna wrestles Kreel and Leon holds the door. With Seth's help, Will knocks over Shaytana's Eye, freeing himself from it, and they briefly play keep away with Shaytana's Eye before allowing Kreel to reclaim it. When he tries to blast them all, they pull the doors open so he kills his own soldiers, and they run in the confusion.

They burst through Vara's room, scaring off her nurse and snatching her cloak, bundling her out of the room. Aruna tries to lead them past another death trap, or possibly the same death trap, all those corridors look exactly the same. Seth stops her, very descriptively.

Seth: Safety, my friends, lies this way. Death and destruction waits on yonder path.
Aruna: Don't listen to him, William, he's a traitor!
Seth: I am sorry, William.
Will believes Seth and starts following him, but Aruna is not being taken in that way. She starts into the death trap; Seth spins her out, getting caught in it himself, and is reduced to dust. Leon hastens them along, and Aruna apologises before following the others away.

Alvar leads them to a tunnel. Vara balks at going in, but Leon shoves her in anyway. It's clearly an entrance or a very large pipe on the outside.

In the laboratory, Kreel muses sadly on bloodthirsty young William Tell. Not only has he murdered the king and queen, he's also kidnapped poor Princess Vara. Xax grins.

Wow, New Zealand has some beautiful scenery.

In a long shot clearly taken from a different episode because there's five people and one's clearly [[redacted for spoilers]], the group cross a high ridge into mountainous country. Kalem appears to offer Will the pendant again.

Kalem: Wear the pendant to remind you of your quest. You must find the cystal arrow. It is Kale's only hope.
Vara looks vaguely confused. This time Will takes the pendant, leading the others away.

I would like to point out that Will's cloak vanished somewhere along the way...

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